Inconceivable Outcome
by Pen to Paper Writer
Summary: Rick finds out that everyone falls to some dark secret. His is one that hits him right between the eyes. How does he cope with life changing news and still keep up appearances for Kate and the boys at the 12th? Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

His cell phone was ringing and he knew it was Kate because he assigned "The Death March" to her cell number. The phone was still ringing somewhere, where, exactly, he had no idea. Finally remembering where he left it and then reaching for it on the night stand he knocked if to the floor, rolling over to search the floor he went too far and rolled off the bed. "Damn" he muttered to himself. Looking at the digital clock he had to rub his eyes to make sure he was reading it correctly it was 3:17 am why the hell was she calling at this ungodly hour and on a Sunday no less. Picking up the phone he answered "Castle." Kate asked

"What took so long to answer your phone?"

"Well, if you must know detective I was asleep and then I knocked my phone off the nightstand and then I fell off the bed trying to answer said phone."

"Well get up and dressed Castle murder never sleeps. Meet me at 2251 E. 19th Street."

Pulling on his jeans, a pullover shirt and his jacket then bending over to throw on his shoes he felt a slight pain in his abdomen. Thinking nothing about it, he thought "Well hell I am 43 and getting old is a bitch".

Kate had asked Lanie what had happened and did she have a possible time of death. Lanie replied, " Kate the male died around 1:13 am the female, on the other hand, hung around for about another hour before she died". Kate wondered how this could have even happened. They were both naked and in the process of making passionate love when the male was killed. He was killed by someone plunging a javelin into the left side of his back and piercing his heart killing him quickly. However the female while she was wounded could not move from where she was because the javelin had gone through the male with such force that it ended up pinning her to the couch. Either the killer wanted information or just liked to torture his victims, he waited until an hour had passed and drove another javelin into the other side of the male and through the females heart as well. She died after being in such pain for over an hour.

Castle arrived about 30 minutes later and much to Kate's amazement he stretched out his hand to her with a hot latte and a bear claw. He saw the smile on her face immediately. Walking over to the crime scene he looked at the victims and almost lost whatever was in his stomach. Kate noticed his reaction and asked

"Castle what's wrong"?

"Beckett I know this boy" he used the term boy because he was barely 19 and not yet a man.

"He helped tutor Alexis with her AP test about 4 months ago. His name was Mark and he was a sophomore at NYU."

The last time he saw him he was a little overprotective towards his daughter and made that fact known after he was done tutoring her. Alexis never found out about their little talk. Inhaling deeply he told Beckett that they were both murdered with a weapon called an Angon and on the end of the blade there should be a barbed head to maximize injury. But these are too short, they should be around 6 feet long these are only about 4 feet long. Kate looked at him with a look he knew all too well.

"What." He asked her

"How do you know all this"?

"Well, I was researching a novel about the middle ages and this weapon came up".

Walking back over to where she was standing he thought he heard something and told everyone at the crime scene to shut up. Most everyone stopped what they were doing, looked at him chuckled, and then ignored him going back to their duties making just as much noise as before. He made the same request again and this time everyone became quiet.

Kate "Do you hear that?" She thought he was losing it too and said "hear what Castle?" That whimper, he heard it again it sounded like a child was sobbing. He knelt down by the lower cabinets in the kitchen found the one where he thought the sound was coming from and looked to Beckett. She drew her Glock 26 and gave Castle the okay to open the cabinet door. The look on their faces was one of shock. Inside the garbage cabinet behind the pail was a little boy about 7 or 8 years old. Looking in Castle asked the boys name. He said very quietly that his name was Michael. Kate never heard it. Castle asked Michael "how long have you been in there?" He answered with I was playing a game of hide and seek I had a great hiding spot but after a while no one came looking for me. Kate asked him "what time did you go into the cabinet?" Michael told them the little hand on the clock was between the 12 and 1 and the big hand was closer to the 9. What they did figure out is that he probably fell asleep for about the last two hours.

The CSU tech's were being very loud in the course of their duties and neither Kate or Castle could barely hear the soft-spoken child.

Rick asked, "Michael is there a place where we can talk to you that's a little bit quieter?"

He responded "My dad has an office right over there." pointing his hand out of the cabinet right past the crime scene. Castle reached into the cabinet to offer his hand. Michael retreated further back into the cabinet, then Castle had an idea.

"Michael how about a piggyback ride to your dad's office?" When Alexis was little and too tired sometimes this got her to her bedroom without a fight and thought that it might work here. Michael was a little hesitant at first, but he seemed to trust the man with the blue eyes and the lady with the brown hair. Getting down on his hands and knees he coaxed the boy to climb onto his back. Getting up Castle felt the same pain in his gut as he did earlier at home. Kate just realized that Lanie was still with the bodies on the couch and needed to shield Michael from the sight. She had two CSU techs raise a blanket covering the scene. Castle walked quickly past the scene and through the office doorway. Kate then closed the door to the office.

Michael wanted to know what was going on with all the people in the living room. Kate told him that someone had murdered his babysitter and that they were looking into collecting clues to find out who did this to her. Michael had asked why his sister was laying on the couch with no clothes on. Kate looked at Rick utterly lost they thought they did a good job at hiding the scene, but apparently he got a glimpse anyway. Kate thought to herself that this was handled so badly such a rookie mistake why could have she not seen the resemblance between the Michael and his sister. There had been no ID because they were both naked, but still she should have known. Castle turned towards the book shelf while Kate continued asking Michael questions. Rick had asked, "Michael where are your parents?" Michael asked Rick for a glass of water before he would answer. Castle thought this was an odd request, but he picked up a glass and filled it with tap water from the mini bar and handed it to Michael. Drinking most of the glass he again asked Michael where his parents were. Michael told him that his parents were on a business trip and had a meeting too. Kate asked, "Do you know when they will return"? He said, "I know that they are flying into an airport, but I am not sure which one. Castle had asked what Michael's last name was and he told them it was Capshaw.

Castle looked over to Kate and gave her a look to move over to the other side of the room. Kate understood and met him there,

"Kate what will happen to him?" Kate thinks a second and tells Castle

"He will more than likely go into CPS temporarily until his parents get back."

Castle wonders if Michael has any relatives nearby. Castle walks over to Michael and asks him,

"Michael do you have any relatives near here?" Michael tells him that he has a brother about 3 blocks away, but he works at night and goes to sleep during the daytime. Kate is impressed with his determination and walks over to the both of them and takes Michael's hand walking out of the bedroom to find a uniform to run down the address of his brother. Walking out of the office Castle looks down and sees blood on the floor and wonders why the team did not see this before. Looking over to the doorway Castle glances towards the dresser mirror and sees now that he has blood running down his upper lip and his chin. Looking for something to clean up his blood loss, he finds a washcloth. He dampens it and then he starts to worry that Beckett would be pissed that he got his blood anywhere near her crime scene, so he cleans up himself the best he can, but the blood still oozes out. Leaning his head back, he takes the washcloth and pinches the bridge of his nose closed.

Kate, getting tired of waiting for him, yells out his name "Castle!" He jumps when she calls out his name and he says "I'll be right there" He notices that there is blood on his shirt by his stomach, so he buttons up his suit jacket hiding the blood stain. Lowering his head the bleeding has stopped for now and he looks presentable. Walking to where Beckett is waiting by the door with arms folded across her chest "Are you finally ready to go?" His only answer is "I'm sorry" Walking down to the car they have Michael in tow keeping him until they can contact his brother. Getting back to the car Castle wonders if there is anything to the bloody nose he just had and thinks that it is just stress and it was probably a one-time thing.

Getting back from the short drive to the precinct Kate, Castle and Michael take the elevator to the 4th floor. Kate looks for Karpowski and sees her motioning her to come over. "Hey Karpowski could you do me a big favor?" She agrees and Beckett asks her to set Michael up in the lounge so he can get some sleep. With that taken care of Kate fills in Espo and Ryan in on the case. Castle was always in awe of how she commanded men, right away she had the boys running down leads. She started looking into the whereabouts of Mr. and Mrs. Capshaw. About 25 minutes later she tracked them down to the Four Seasons Hotel in San Francisco. Leaving a message for them she did not expect them to return her call tonight being there was a three hour time difference. 10 minutes later she answered her land line "Detective Beckett" She listened to what was being said on the other end and after verifying who was on the other end she had calmly but officially told Jeff Capshaw that his daughter had been murdered.

So Kate turned to where Castle was sitting by her desk and asked "So Castle, any wild or made up theories about this case"? He turned and looked right at her, but she got the feeling he was looking through her rather than at her at that moment almost like he was daydreaming.

He stood up and said, "Kate I am pretty sure you and the boys can handle this investigation without any of my wild theories. My being here would just be an interference in the progression of the case. So I think I am going to head home and get a shower and some sleep it's almost 6 am now."

Beckett looked at him with a look on her face that he had never seen. She thought to herself that he never leaves me at the start of a case and especially since he knew one of the victims. Castle rises from the chair and walks over to the elevator and pushes the down button.

Kate can't believe what has just happened but soon when they get a break from the case she will call him and find out what's wrong. Without giving his behavior a second thought, Ryan comes to her with the information on the boyfriend that Rick knew.

Castle stands in front of the elevator doors wishing the doors to open quickly...


	2. Chapter 2

Rick stared at the elevator hoping the doors would open soon. He did not know why he told Beckett that he needed to get home, but something inside him told him he need to be in a more comfortable place. The doors opened and he stepped onto the elevator and rode it to the lobby of the 12th. Walking through the main hall towards the double glass doors he stepped down onto the sidewalk and hailed a cab. He gave the address of the loft to the driver and sat back in the seat. He watched as the sun started it's rise over the city. The ride was a short one being that it was before 7am. Arriving at the loft he paid the driver and added a generous tip. The driver was blown away when he counted the fare. He almost wanted to get out and open the door for Rick but instead he gave him a heart felt thanks. Castle stepped in front of his building, hesitating a bit before moving towards the glass doors he had hoped that he would be alone when he got inside the loft. As it turned out he was the only one there, his mom was probably going to be doing her walk of shame soon and Alex had already left for her classes at Columbia. Was it physics today? He never knew what she was doing from day to day.

He hung up his coat and scarf and went to his master bath to take a hot relaxing shower. Stripping down to his birthday suit he started the shower and waited for the temperature to get comfortable enough for his needs. Turning towards the full length mirror he took inventory of his body. Hair check, triceps and biceps check, Pecks check, Abs...that's when he noticed that he was not so well defined in that area, he was toned but... From his lower ribcage to his hips he looked like he was a man who was deprived of nutrition. This shocked him because he had not noticed it before now. His ribs were showing like he was a skeleton. Castle was a big guy standing about 6' 3" and weighed in at 207 pounds consistently. So he decided to step onto the scale after tapping it to get it activated it was going through its calibrations. Finally the scale told him to step on. Waiting the five seconds to weigh him the digital readout flashed 183 then went solid right before vanishing from his sight.

Not too worried as he stepped off the scale he sometimes fluctuated with his weight especially when he spent a lot of time binge writing he always forgot to eat. If it was not for Alexis he would starve giving Gina his latest chapters. He walked over to the shower and stepped in. Closing the shower door he aimed the spray nozzles towards the parts of his body that ached the most, namely his abs and his lower calf muscles. Washing the early morning dirt off his body he finished and turned off the water and picked up a towel and dried off. Bending over to dry his lower body parts, he felt what he thought was mucus running from his nose. Looking down on the shower tile it was not what he thought. Blood was almost everywhere. He grabbed a washcloth and did the same thing he did when he was at the crime scene. There was something different about this nose bleed, it happened quicker, the blood was thicker and it was not subsiding as easily as before. Worried that he would run out of blood (he knew that this was silly) to keep his heart from beating he got dressed and made his way to the hospital.

Walking up the ER's nursing station he asked if there was anyone who could see him. The ER nurse looked up from her paper work and noticed that the cloth that he was using was over filled with blood. She rushed around to the front of the counter and brought him back to the first available treatment room. An attending was walking by and saw the amount of blood that was trailing on the floor. He stepped in and asked Castle how long this was happening. Rick had told him that he was just getting out of the shower and his nose really started bleeding profusely. So maybe for about 15 minutes. The attending doctor introduced himself as Peter Carr and intrigued with his case he told the nurse that he would do the medical history work up on Mr. Castle. Pulling out a tablet he started asking Rick a couple of questions. Mr. Castle

"Have you had any weight loss in the recent months"?

Rick replied with

"I have lost about 25 pounds, but I am not always worried about loosing a couple of pounds I am a writer and sometimes skip a lot of meals."

"Okay, Mr. Castle..." Rick interrupts with

"Peter pease call me Rick okay?" Peter agrees with a nod.

"Well, Rick have you noticed any red splotches anywhere on your body?"

Castle thinks a bit and says "now that you mention that I have some splotches on my upper back, but I never thought anything about them"

Peter notes his answer in the chart.

"Okay, Rick have you been fatigued or have you been in a weaker state recently?"

Again Castle thinks back to the crime scene and tells Peter that he has been feeling some of pain in his abdomen. And Peter's last question is "Rick when you go to bed at night are you comfortable? What I mean is do you get the feeling that you are hot or cold?" Castle thinks a while and answers "There are times when I am cold and need like 2 blankets to keep warm and then 20 minutes later I am roasting and need the A/C of full blast to cool down. Peter now moves to Castles nose and gently removes the cloth that he is still holding there. Peter tells him that the bleeding has slowed down enough to remove the washcloth.

Peter tends to getting Castle comfortable because he will be undergoing a battery of tests that will most likely be an all day event. Peter tells Castle that he is only an intern but knows that there is something more serious going on with him and will probably be turning over his case to the resident doctor when he arrives. Rick is disappointed with the structure of how people at a learning hospital can learn and requests that Peter stay as his secondary doctor. Peter will see what he can do but he is not hopeful. Dr. Sullivan enters the ER treatment room where Castle and Peter are. He introduces himself as such and asks Peter for the history he had just worked up on Mr. Castle. Reading the history completely he asked Peter to leave the room so he can talk to Mr. Castle alone.

Peter replies with "Doctor Sullivan he likes to be called Rick"

Rick tells him that he was right and brings up the fact that this is a teaching hospital and Peter should be involved in all aspects of what the patient needs.

Dr. Sullivan agrees, reluctantly but does so just the same. Dr. Sullivan starts to explain what he wants to do with Rick.

"Mr. Castle there are 3 or 4 tests that I am going to prescribe. The first test we have basically taken care of here and I am confidant that we need to move forward with the second battery of testing."

Castle looks worried and asks what is involved in the next tests. Dr. Sullivan answers with

"We will take a sample of your blood and test your white blood cell count. If there is no abnormality there you are basically done."

Rick asked, "And what if the count is abnormal?"

Dr. Sullivan hangs his head and mumbles something that Castle can't quite hear. He raises his head and tells him that he will need to go for a bone marrow test and it will be very uncomfortable. Rick lays back against the pillow and thinks about Kate. He could really use her company right now, but decides against it because she has Josh, and he is only a partner to her or now maybe even less, like a plucky sidekick. Dr. Sullivan explains that the bone marrow test, if needed will be taken from his hip. This is possibly that best area to get the marrow from and his recovery will be a lot quicker for him. Castle asks what Dr. Sullivan is thinking about by ordering all these tests, and he replies with "well Mr. Castle, I'm sorry Rick I am not one to jump the gun or make a patient worry over what might or might not be, but some of the indicators are present for a specific disease and with the tests we will preform this afternoon we should have a more definitive answer for you. So give me until the end of the day and we should have a better idea of whats going on with your health.

As Dr. Sullivan leaves the triage room Castle looks to Peter.

"So Peter what do you think?"

Peter answers with " I am an intern and I am not in any position to tell you anything". Castle gives a him stern look and tells him

"Peter I went to bat for you asking Dr. Sullivan to keep you here to learn and this is how you repay me?"

Peter looking away and then looking back to Rick he says "Rick I am not going to tell you that everything will be lolly pops and roses"

He looks down once again and continues with "It has been my experience that most patients who go in for a hip bone marrow test usually come out of it with shock and anger and start to get pissed off at the world! So I hope that you are prepared for the worst after these tests."

Rick places his hand over Peters and looks him in the eys and says, Thanks, Peter. Castle then looks away from him.

Peter turns and leaves Castle and this gives him some time to think. Would Kate want to know what is happening with me? He is not too sure that they are at a place within their partnership that would warrant him telling her what was going on. So he just puts it in the back of his mind. Just as he started to look out the window, a small blonde nurse entered his room.

"Hello, Mr. Castle" My name is Claire and I will be taking you for your first round of tests. Castle looks a little started and agrees with her, "Is there anything I can do to help you, he asks"?

She says "Why yes if you are able to could you make your way over to the wheel chair for me so we can get you over to the lab to start your tests?"

Castle makes the move over to the wheelchair and sits in it but not without holding the cheap hospital gown together to cover his ass. Modesty be damned and all.

Claire knows who he is but due to hospital rules and regulations she really can't come right and ask him for his autograph for her latest copy of Nikki Heat which she has hidden in the pocket of his wheelchair. Castle dreads the tests he is going to have done. Claire wheels him into the the lab and he waits patiently for the lab tech to arrive. While he is waiting Claire finally gets up the nerve to ask him for his autograph. Castle in not naive and had wondered when she would get around to ask him. He noticed the book in the pocket of the wheelchair. He replies with "Claire is it not hospital policy to ask a famous patient for his/her signature?" Claire's face went ashen white, "I am so sorry Mr. Castle but I thought since you were just waiting here with nothing to do..." Rick was just trying to get a rise out of her he would of course sign her book for her. "Claire who do you want me to make it out to?

"Mr. Castle my mom is a huge fan. If you could make it out to Rose that would be great."

"Claire, it will be our little secret. Rick takes the sharpie from her and write a passage for her mothers book. He hands her the book and marked back and says "See no one is the wiser." She smiles and takes the book back.

He thanks her for bringing him to the lab. Because the lab tech walks in behind him and asks "Mr. Castle?" Please call me Rick he says. I understand that you are here for a couple of tests today. Shaking his head yes he swallows hard and wishes he had someone here with him right now. My name is Joan and I will be with you every step of the way, if you have any concerns or questions please don't hesitate to ask me. With that explained she asks him to get onto the hard and cold exam table. He does so and then she asks him to sit there while she prepares for his BP. Walking over to him she asks him to roll his sleeve up so she can take his BP, then checks his heart rate. Everything is OK. Joan gets a needle ready and Castle thinks that this is the test he needs to take.

He asks Joan "Do you need me to roll onto my side?"

She smiles and tells him that this is just the start of your procedure Rick, you need to have a general anesthetic to get ready for the bone marrow biopsy and then an IV will be administered to help take the edge off. He can't believe what's going on and is a little scared having never gone through something like this before alone. Joan sees the despair In his eyes.

 **A/N: First I want to say that this story is a reposting from about 2 years ago. It's a story I posted when I first started writing fiction. Please don't think that this story is a "new" story. I just liked it so much I wanted to repost it under my new pen name. Thanks, P2P Writer.**


	3. Chapter 3

Kate was feeling the loss of Castle not being there with her. Even though it was only 2 pm it had felt like a week since she had seen him last. He had his wild and crazy theories sometimes, but they always kept her trying to find the real truth. Yeah sure sometimes he might have been right on one or two occasions and he would gloat when his theory turned out to be correct, but she missed what he brought to any investigation, he made her and the team see the laughable moments in the cases they had worked together trying to bring some humor to the case to lighten their spirits because let's face it people were killed and that would bring anyone down. Looking over to the clock the Capshaws would be arriving at JFK by 3:26 pm from San Francisco International on Delta flight 0418. Kate had sent a patrol unit to meet them at the arrivals terminal and told the uniforms to escort them back to the 12th forthwith. Since there was a lull in what was going on and Castle had not called her yet, she thought now was a good time to give him a call.

His phone rang, but after 3 rings it went straight to voicemail. This never happened he always answered. Starting to worry and instead of calling Alexis or Martha she placed a call to Edwardo who manned the door at Castles building. Edwardo had just helped Mrs. Redstone to her waiting cab when he heard the front desk phone ringing. Rushing back to the desk he grabbed it on the last ring.

"Hello, this is the Haddon Plaza how can I be of assistance?"

Kate gets right to the point.

"Edwardo this is Detective Beckett how are you this afternoon?"

Edwardo answers, "I am fine Detective, what can I do for you?"

Edwardo is no fool he knows that she wants something from him and he will gladly give it to her if she could only let go of her feelings for Rick.

"Edwardo do you know if you have seen Mr. Castle at any time today? He thinks to himself, _Well that's a start._ He tells her that he went out about eight hours ago. Got into his SUV and drove out and he has not seen him since. Kate thinks that this is unusual for Castle because he never goes without more than a couple of hours without bothering her in some way or letting her know where he will be. Then she then asks if there was anything unusual about him when he left, Edwardo tries to recall when he left exactly and then he remembers something from when he left.

"Detective, when Mr. Castle left this morning and he was looking up to the ceiling and holding a rag to his nose"

Kate was totally lost with what he was trying to say to her. She loved his Jamaican accent, but there were times when she had trouble understanding what he was trying to say to her. So becoming a little more frustrated she says

"So Edwardo you have not seen him since this morning?"

"No, detective I have not, again I am so sorry."

Kate thanks him and hangs up the phone.

Just about the time Kate is hanging up the phone with Edwardo, Castle waits for the IV to start working after Joan had placed the port into the back of his hand. He was not yet feeling the effects of the drugs she had started him on. While this was not a big concern he started thinking about the test he was there for.

Just then a Dr. O'Brien walked into the lab where Castle was.

Mr. Castle "I am Dr. O'Brien and I am the resident oncologist here at the hospital and if there is anything I can do to make your experience here any more comfortable please do not hesitate to let me know of your concerns."

He tells the good doctor that as of now he has no concerns...yet. Preparing the test for the biopsy Dr. O'Brien asks Castle if he is able to move to the procedure table from the exam table. Castle complies and then the test will commence. As he sits up he sways just a little, reopening his eyes he then tries to swing his legs over the side of the exam table and this task is just a little hard for Rick to do. It's then that Dr. O'Brien sees Castle looking a bit sluggish and as Rick tries to slide off the table Dr. O'Brien turns to catch him because the drugs that the nurse had administered have now started taking their effect on him quicker than he thought. Helping him to the procedure table he told him to lie back and then he would start preparing him for the test. An aide had entered and made Rick a little more comfortable by giving him a warmed blanket and a second pillow. Rick groggily had asked again if he needed to turn on his side, but Dr. O'Brien chuckled a little had told him that there was no need to do that because he could access the area on his body in question with ease.

He started to proceed with the test asking Rick to draw back the gown he had on to give Dr. O'Brien more access to his hip. While Rick holds the flimsy hospital gown up exposing his hip, the doctor inserts a needle into his posterior superior iliac crest. Even in his shaky state of mind Castle thinks that this will be a piece of cake that is until the doctor pushes deeper into his flesh with the biopsy needle. The pressure is only now starting to become more and more unbearable, but he holds back his pain. He thought that with the IV medication the nurse gave him and being almost knocked out there would be a lot less pressure or pain, neither had been the case. At this time, the doctor had just reached the target area and asked him how he was doing.

Rick replied, "Please Dr. O'brien be quick about the rest of the test, I have never experienced this much pain in my life."

The Doctor moves quickly and tries to complete the remainder of the test, but there will be about 45 minutes left to get the full 2 quarts of marrow for a complete result. With the needle now in place the Dr. draws back the plunger on the syringe and in seconds there is bone marrow passing through the needle and the doctor advises him that the test is almost complete he only needs to draw a couple more syringes of marrow. He promises that he will be quick and gentle.

This is of no comfort to Castle because now right at this moment he wishes that Kate was with him calming him by holding his hand, telling him that everything will be fine. He does not realize it, but a tear streams down the side of his face while he was thinking of what could have been. The hour passes and the test is now complete. The doctor removes the needle and gives Rick the following information as he applies a dab of skin lotion to the retrieval site.

"Mr. Castle you will be in a little discomfort for about 3 to 5 days. Please do not swim, bathe or get the biopsy site wet in any way for the next 24 hours. I will place a gauze bandage over where I extracted the bone marrow and if there is not any additional bleeding by tomorrow at this time you will be able to remove the gauze and shower. If there is more bleeding than what I have explained then by all means return back to the hospital and find me. Castle shakes his head and now needs to ask the most important question,

"So, Dr. O'Brien when will I find out the results of this test?"

The Dr. informs him that the lab is a little backed up, but a good time frame should be about four days.

He nods in disbelief and asks him if there are any more tests he needs to take.

The doctor tells him "Wasn't this test enough" with a quiet laugh.

Castle agrees and thanks him for being so professional and compassionate. Turning to walk away the doctor says, "Go home Mr. Castle and try to relax."

Rick stares back at the disappearing doctor moving quickly down the hallway and then turns himself and heads for the loft. Walking out to the sidewalk he hails a taxi and gives the driver the address of the loft. The ride back home has him thinking how will he break the news to his family if the tests should come back positive. Then his mind wanders to Kate, how would she take his news if his results were positive. Would she support him or not even care about what is possibly going to happen to him. He really can't tell anyone anything so it will be business as usual. He will not reveal anything to anyone just yet. Arriving at the loft Edwardo notices Castle paying the cabbie and walks over to open the front door. "Good afternoon Mr. Castle where is your SUV?" Castle walks through the doorway and greets Edwardo with a hearty "Good afternoon Edwardo. Actually my SUV met with an engine problem and is in the shop. How is your family?"

"They are great Mr. Castle everyone is doing well."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it."

Castle walks over to the elevator and waits for it to arrive. Edwardo returns back to his concierge desk and sits down. "Oh by the way Mr. Castle Detective Beckett called me earlier and wanted to know where you were." The elevator doors slid open Castle ignored them and quickly pulled out his cell and found 6 missed calls and 4 voice mails all were from Kate. He turns around and asked, "What did you tell her Edwardo?" He responded "I told her the truth, I noticed you leaving earlier but had no idea where you might be going." Now Castle never thought Kate would have cared so much to ask about where was... or did she?

Kate had the Capshaws in interview room two and was asking them if they had known anyone who would cause them or their daughter any harm. They had a misunderstanding with the neighbors, but it was nothing but a petty argument, nothing that would lead to something like this. Ryan and Espo had gone over the phone and financial records for the Capshaws. Nothing popped out at them they were your everyday ordinary family. Sure they had bills but they also had savings that would have kept them afloat if times went bad. There were no wild purchases and nothing was bought on the spur of the moment. Kate had explained that their son Michael was with their older son Paul and they should swing by to pick him up there. She told them that is would not make sense to have CPS brought into this for just one night, they thanked her and stood up from the table and said their goodbyes. Kate shook Mr. Capshaws hand and then handed him her business card, "Mr. Capshaw, if you can think of anything that could possibly help with our investigation then please give me a call day or night. My phone is always on" He nodded and walked out of the 12th.

Kate went back to her desk looked over to the empty chair beside her and thought about Castle.

 _I miss him so much and I think that I am falling for him, but what would be the point, he is a best-selling author and he always has that playboy act thing going on, I am not too sure if he can even be serious._

But what Kate did not realize is that Rick had given up the late parties and the chest signings and had not really dated any fast women since he had met her. So much for being a detective. Looking down at her pile of paperwork, most from the previous cases and the start of this case, she decided to get ahead on some of it so there was not too much of a pile later. Looking at the clock it was almost 7:30 pm what a long day today was, she thought. She would dedicate about 2 hours to this pile of paperwork and then call it a night. Writing up the remainder of the case notes for the last case she closed the file folder, stuffed it into an envelope and sent it to the DA via interoffice mail. Grabbing her coat and purse she moved over to the elevator all the way thinking of him. Was he okay? What was he doing? She really did miss him.

Castle had entered the loft around 5:15 pm. No one was there to greet him, Alexis had a class and would be coming home late. Martha was with Madge working on some play they were co-writing together. Neither of his family would not be home until later that night. Walking over to his office he sat down at his laptop, not really in the mood to write about Nikki Heat so he instead reaches for his cell phone. Pulling up the icon for his missed calls he noticed that there were six and they were all made on the top of every hour starting at 10 am. He thumbs through the voice mails and hits play on the first one "Castle, it's me Beckett call me when you get this"

The next three are basically the same in content until the last two.

"Rick it's me, Kate. I'm getting really worried now. I have not heard from you all day are you okay? Call me back please."

"Rick, it's me Kate again. Now I am way past worried so I called Edwardo who said he noticed you leaving earlier this morning, are you alright? Please call me I am at the 12th doing paperwork and will probably be here late."

This was not what he was expecting from her. Her concern was touching but misplaced at best. Deleting the last voice mail, Rick scrolled down the list of contacts and pulled up her cell number, hovering his thumb over her the number he thought twice and closed the contact list and put his phone back on his desk. He thought to himself "Maybe it's just better this way".


	4. Chapter 4

Staring at his phone on the desk he made the decision that what he went through this morning was just a test. He was sure that the results would be negative.

Getting up from his desk he made his way over to the liquor cabinet after the day he had he needed to lose himself in a good single malt scotch. He perused his collection of bottles and selected a 1958 single, single Highland Park, poured a medium sized tumbler full and threw the first glass back and let the amber liquid scorch down the back of his throat.

This was a smooth scotch, well worth the $1500.00 dollars he spent on the bottle. He finished his nightcap and then looking at his watch noticed Alexis should have been home hours ago. Looking in her bedroom she was not there so he figured that she was studying at the library. He pulled out a sharpie and a piece of paper and left her a note on the island counter

"Hey Pumpkin, I decided to call it an early night I'm just a little tired. I made a little something to eat and left your share of it in the fridge for you. Put it in the oven at 425 degrees for 20 minutes. See you in the morning, I Love You, Dad."

Climbing the staircase up to his bedroom there was still a little pain in his hip and he really wanted to remove the gauze, but he decided against that for once actually listening to the doctors orders. Setting his alarm clock for 5:30 he would bring his team breakfast and hoped he could keep what he went through today hidden from them.

"Business as usual, " he thought. Before he knew it he was fast asleep waking only to the alarm that was blaring 6 hours later to a preset radio station announcing that it would be a mild day today. Turning off the alarm he threw the comforter off his body and made his way to the bathroom. Removing the gauze, he examined the bone marrow target site. To his surprise, it had only bled a little bit during the night, but the surrounding skin around the needle marks had now changed an ugly purplish/green/yellow color. Taking a shower, he went through his daily routine. In no time, he was dressed and ready to hit the street. He walked through the lobby of his building and threw a wave to Edwardo who told him to have a great day.

Walking out to hail a cab, he would stop at Everyman Espresso before heading over to the precinct. It was just a couple of blocks away from his place, but it would be well worth the time to stop there because they had great baked goods. Getting his coffee order and getting an assortment of bagels, rolls, scones and a coffee cake he got back into the cab and told the driver to bring him to the 12th precinct. Arriving there he was by his own surprise the first one there. Taking the elevator to the homicide floor he set everything up in the break room. Taking his and Beckett's coffee, he walked over to his chair and sat down very gingerly. Looking over to the murder board he studied what facts the team had put together already. The crime scene pictures were up and the timeline was started. They had determined that both victims had died about an hour apart from each other, but Castle still could not shake the fact that he knew Mark.

This worried him because he thought if whoever killed him and his girlfriend, could Alexis become a target as well?" Ryan and Beckett arrived first with Ryan edging Kate out by a full two minutes and she noticed him first sitting at his chair by her desk. Taking off her coat she walked over to him and hung her coat on the back of her chair sat down and just stared at him. Then after about a full minute of staring at him Rick was starting to get a little paranoid when she asked him what had happened to him yesterday. He was so involved in looking at the crime scene pictures and thinking about Alexis and her safety that he never noticed her take her seat or ask him anything.

"Castle!" She exclaimed. He jumped at the sound of her voice and he asked "When did you get here?" trying to hide his surprise.

She told him "I just sat down, is this for me"? pointing to the vanilla latte on her desk. She looked at him with an anxious look on her face. So he says "what?"

"I am still waiting for an answer to my question about yesterday's disappearance from the face of the earth Castle."

"Oh, I'm sorry, well after I went home I slept for about 3 hours and then Black Pawn called. They wanted to talk about a new book tour promoting the latest Heat book. The cities that were talked about were in the Far East. This book launch tour would be the biggest one on that continent. The meeting lasted all day and I was so tired when I got home that I went to sleep by 10 pm.

"Castle I called you and I left voice mails"

"Beckett, I know, I listened to them after the meetings, but I did not want to bother you by calling back so late"

"Castle you are never a bother to me. I always like to know where you and that you are safe, so please next time call me whatever the time is I will always answer."

He did not know what to say, who was this woman and what happened to her. She really never cared to the extent she was caring right now, he was seeing a different side to her but why? But still he hoped that his little white lie was believable enough for her to swallow.

"I picked up breakfast for the team"

She looked at him and said "Really, why? You have never brought in breakfast. At the most it's just a box of coffee for the guys. Castle, are you feeling okay?"

"It's just my way of giving back to the people I work with. Wheres the harm in that?"

She was not an idiot something was going on with him, but she accepted his explanation of what he did yesterday anyway. Thinking to herself, he never buys anyone breakfast and he is never here before any of us, something is definitely going on. Just then Espo interrupts her thoughts and calls her to the break room she leaves Castle still sitting in his chair looking back at the murder board.

"Whats up Espo?"

"Where did all this food come from?"

Kate answers with a bit of curiosity "Our generous benefactor out there."

"Who Castle?"

She shakes her head yes. He can't believe it and says

"Somethings going on here"

"I know right!" Kate needs to get to the bottom of this.

They both look out of the break room blind slats and just observe him. After a while, Ryan comes over and asks, "what's going on"?

"We are trying to solve another mystery Bro."

"And what could that be." Ryan asks?

"Castle was here at zero dark thirty and he sprung for all this food."

Ryan looks puzzled and then says, "Maybe he is just in a giving mood." Both Espo and Beckett look at each other then to him and then he says "What? that might happen"

Meanwhile, Castle has been studying the murder board with great detail since they all went to the break room. He knows that they are looking at him through the window, but he does not want to look back at them and hopes he did not give too much away. When they all file out of the break room they look in his direction. Then Kate sits back down at her desk.

"So Castle any wild ideas or outlandish theories?" He thinks and says "Beckett, no I got nothing."

"Okay. Hey, Espo I think we need to re-canvas the apartment building tenants to see if we missed anyone from the initial canvas, take Ryan and see what you can find out. In the meantime, Castle and I will meet with Lanie and see if anything has popped there. She should have at least found something by now."

Now he is in trouble he needs to get up from the chair and try to walk normally, boy this was going to be harder than he thought. Walking slowly to the elevator he keeps staring at the murder board to cover his stiffness. Luckily Kate had rushed to the elevator and missed his slow walk over. Riding down to the morgue they step off at the medical examiners floor in the sub-basement. They walk into the office and Kate greets her with a contagious "Good Morning, Lanie."

Placing her paperwork on the desk Lanie turns to face them. "So Lanie, what have you got for me?" Lanie looking up to Castle's face can see he is in obvious pain and seeing they way he is shifting his weight from one leg to another she knows something is very wrong with him, but she hides her suspicions from them both. She looks back to Kate and tells her that her about the case. "Your 1st victim was a 19 y/o male in perfect health and the weapon pierced his heart he never felt anything and died in seconds. He was free of any drugs in his system." Then she continues.

"The 2nd victim was 20 y/o female and also in great health. But she had actually suffered a lot more than her boyfriend here. She was also impaled, but the killer had missed her heart and she died, but not for about an hour after she was impaled. Kate asks a very disturbing question

"So let me get this straight Lanie she could have been alive when we got there?"

Lanie tells her "My guess is she could have been, but that seems highly unlikely."

Then Kate asks why? Lanie tells her that because her chest cavity was surrounded by so much blood, it was basically strangling her heart inside her chest and it would stop beating due to constriction in a couple of minutes. Kate really wanted to catch this sadistic son of a bitch now.

Looking to Castle to see what he thinks she gets a blank look from him. Then Lanie tells Kate that she will have the toxicology screen results back in about an hour and she will call her later about the results. They both turn to leave but Lanie catches Castles eye and when Beckett says "Thanks, Lanie" he breaks away from her glare. Damn he thinks, she knows somethings up.

Lanie is determined to find out what is going on with Castle, she knows that they are in love with each other, but neither of them wants to admit it. It's just so obvious and she can't understand why they don't see it so she will take it upon herself to find what's going on. Making a couple of calls, it doesn't take her long to find out some information about him because she has very faithful friends in almost every department in almost every hospital in the city. The benefits of being the ME. She finally narrows it down to The Metropolitan Hospital Center. But then she comes up against a solid Castle brick wall. Her friend Lynda had found his file and it seems that he had placed a gag order on all his medical history, and any type of test results that could be accessed from an outside third party. The order, if violated would pull all the funding that he donated to the hospital, and then he would file a very hefty lawsuit. So there was no way anyone would find out anything about him or what he was at the hospital for.

Lanie felt bad for Kate. She is her best friend and she would want to know what was going on with him, but, on the other hand, these results are actually a private issue for Castle's eyes only. She could get the gag order lifted, but it's still against the law for her to invade his privacy and his medical records even if she is the M.E. of the City of New York, so deciding against it. She tells Lynda that she can't take this information she has found.

Now Lanie was having a moral breakdown. Now that she knew that Castle was in the hospital but for what she had no idea. She could not say anything to Kate or her team, hell she could not even let on to Castle that she knew he went to the hospital. So now it was time to put this matter on the back burner and forget about it for now if Castle wanted to talk to her about why he was there this would be the only time she would tell him that she already knew he went there. Sure he might be a little mad about her knowing but she would wait for him to come to her and tell her himself.

The tox results had come back on both of the murder victims so Lanie called Kate and gave her the news. Everything was normal.

On the third day of the investigation, Beckett and Castle were on the 4th floor studying the murder board. It had a lot more information on it than it did yesterday. Ryan and Espo arrived and had come up with nothing from the second canvas yesterday and were just a little too short with Castle when he suggested that there might have been people who could have been away or elderly people who were not able to get to the door in time when they went back to canvas the second time.

Espo laid into him saying or rather screaming quite loudly "Who do you think we are Castle? Dime store cops? Don't you think that we would have already thought of that on our own? We were the detectives who have done all the legwork to get to where we are now. We are the cops who were trained to be looking for specific clues to solve cases like this. Tell me Castle where have you gone to school to learn about crime scenes, collecting evidence, and basically BEING a cop? Hell Castle, 90% of the time you forget to put on your crime scene gloves when you are poking around the scene!"

Rick was crushed at what Espo was saying and that he thought so little of his theory, but it was apparent by the look on his face. Before Rick could defend what was said, Espo came back with one last quip.

"Castle your not even a cop so don't go spouting out things we should do during OUR investigation."

Ryan just stopped and looked at Espo slack-jawed "Dude what the hell?"

Kate went ballistic and hauled Espo into the break room away from Rick and Ryan.

"Really Javi, What the hell was that out there? What were you thinking?"

Kate was pissed and when Espo said nothing in his defense she asked him again.

"You know what I am really sick and tired of? It's when Mr. Wannabe comes up with something we have already checked out and he thinks that he's had an original thought. And Kate you agree with him. What ARE you thinking?"

Kate says, "I know you really don't mean that right Javi? And before you open your mouth again you better think about what comes out of it next." Waiting before answering her he says, "No I don't mean it. It's just this case this damn case."

"Javi, this case? Really? That's your excuse for blowing up at him? Now, I am not really going to tell you what you need to do next, am I?"

He looks to the floor and tells her that he will apologize to Castle. He just needs time to get his head on straight. Kate returns back to the murder board but noticed that Castle had moved from the murder board back to his seat. After rethinking his actions from earlier Espo walks over and opens his mouth to speak to Castle, but Rick raises his hand signaling him not to say a word. Kate looks on not knowing what he is going to say, but she knows that it won't be anything good.

He emotionally centers himself for a while then Castle forms his thoughts into the next statement "Detective Esposito, while I am not a duly sworn officer with the state of New York specifically the N.Y.P.D., I'd like to let you in on a couple of facts about myself that you are probably unaware of, or that for some foolish reason you have never bothered to look into.

First, I am one of about 15 people in this city licensed with a permit to carry a concealed handgun. I am not one of these 15 people who decided one day and thought it would be a kick to see if they could actually get one just for the hell of it, then to go out one day and apply for a permit to carry a concealed weapon. No Detective, I trained, and completed the proper courses that were required by the department. And I completed them all at the Fort Drum Army base upstate.

Secondly, I am an active member and representative on many large corporations boards within this great city of ours. A shadow director shall we say on most of these boards that will help get laws passed to actually protect police officers against frivolous lawsuits.

And lastly I will donate somewhere around three to five million dollars of my writing profits annually to provide most of the patrol officers and detectives with bulletproof vests, tactical gear, weapons, and ammunition.

Rick continues on to tell Espo that for the officers who die in the line of duty there is a fund in place that in addition to what the NYPD and State pays their families, which is usually the bare minimum at most, that this fund makes up the difference so families that lose their loved one can live life without wondering if they will be able to make it financially. My company funds that fund Detective Esposito. Oh, and just a parting word of advice for you, I have been doing this long before I decided to shadow Detective Beckett and her team, meaning you and Ryan probably while you were still in blues! But now since you see me as just a wannabe as you so charmingly put it, I do know now what you actually think of me. You have made it so perfectly clear that I am not wanted or needed by you or your team here anymore. SO Detective Esposito, you can keep your imaginary excuse for an apology! I don't need it and even better I don't want to hear your sugarcoated bullshit!."

Rick could not help but to get the last word in "Oh and by the way Inspector Clouseau why don't you take a hard look at the Ex-boyfriend as a suspect in your current case." Kate giggled at that comment. Everyone in the 12th heard what Castle said, he was not loud but what drew everyone over was when Espo was yelling at Castle. No one had known any of these things about Castle and his generosity before today.

Ryan, Beckett, and Espo were all speechless. They never knew Castle did all these selfless things for the department. Rick got up and limped over to the elevator pushed the down call button and waited for it to arrive. Kate watched him limp away and wondered what hell that was all about. Kate called out to Castle before the elevator doors closed

"So...Castle see you tomorrow?"

He countered with "Probably not Detective. Have a good life!" as the elevator doors came to a close. As Montgomery looked on, he knew that this was going to be a problem. A really big problem.


	5. Chapter 5

This was not good. That's the thought that kept running through Roy's head. Espo had went way over the line Kate had thought. Roy after seeing the whole spectacle unfold in front of him called them all into his office and asked them to have a seat.

"What the hell was that out there?" Roy demanded.

Espo looked away and mumbled "It was all my fau- Montgomery interrupted him and said

"Your goddamned right it was your fault what were you thinking Esposito? This man has given his time, resources and above all he has risked his life so many times I can't even count and this is how you treat him!"

"I will fix this, " Espo says quietly.

Javi, I am not too sure you can fix this. Detective Beckett will head over to his loft and try to smooth things over but until then you and Ryan will have no contact with Mr. Castle. Ryan looks at him "What the hell did I do?" Sorry Kevin I just lumped you in with Espo just a force of habit. But I still don't want anyone speaking to him until Beckett has had the time to talk to him.

"Your dismissed" they all turn to leave and Roy asks Kate to stay behind.

"Kate I need to know where you and Castle stand?"

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"Come on Kate do you think I am that blind, lets be honest here, don't think I haven't noticed what has been happening between you two for about a year now."

Her mouth falls open, was it that obvious?

"What are you talking about sir?"

"Kate please don't deny that you might have feelings for him, but there is something I need to tell you but can't come right out and tell you."

She looks at him puzzled. "What is it, Sir?"

"So you really call yourself a detective do you? Open up your eyes Kate and take a look at what's right in front of your face. He eyes a file on his desk just long enough for Kate to see the reference. Dismissed Detective." She turns leaves and closes the office door behind her. What was that all about she wonders as she walks over to her desk.

What the team did not know is that Roy had an inside informant at the hospital, by the name of Dr. Alexander. Not only was The Metropolitan Hospital Center where Castle had his tests performed, but this is also the hospital that gives all the new NYPD recruits their medical evaluations. Now all Roy knew is that Castle was in for some tests but it was not too hard to figure out what he was there for. He was seeing Dr. O'Brien an oncologist, and Castle really never bothered to read the disclosure form he had signed when he agreed to shadow Kate three years ago. It gave the NYPD access to any type of record they wanted to view gag order or not. Roy would never use that to find out what Castle had, he just wanted to make sure he was okay. Roy motioned to Kate to come back to his office. She got up and walked in "Detective Beckett since it's late why not take a break from this case and go home" Also tell Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum to go home too.

"Sir...which is which?" She asks and Montgomery tells her "I'll let you figure that one out!"

Kate is lost in thought when she gets behind the wheel of her Crown Vic. How is she going to talk to him and was it that obvious that Roy knew that she had feelings for him? Did anyone else think that? This was not going to be an easy conversation.

Meanwhile at the loft, Rick stares at the phone opened up on his desk. The worst he was thinking would never happen, has now become his own hellish reality. The call came about 15 minutes ago just after he got back to the loft he was still pissed at Espo and when the phone rang he never looked at the caller ID and told Espo never to call him again. But after the line remained silent for an obscene amount of time, it was not Espo on the other end it was Dr. O'Brien with the results from his tests. Apologizing to no end to him, the doctor had asked if he was seated. Continuing, he gave him the bad news. Richard Alexander Castle has been diagnosed with stage 1 leukemia.

Ending the call and dropping the phone back on the desk he thought to himself this was it. How on earth am I going to survive this. Walking over to the scotch bottle on the bar the one he had a drink from the other night he takes a glass and pours, hoping that getting blitzed will erase his disease but who is he kidding. After the third glass he is feeling pretty good. He could do this until the end he thinks.

Startled by the knock at the door he wobbles over the open it. Well it's more like a stagger. Looking through the peephole he sees that it's Kate. What the hell, I can't deal with this now he knows that she is there to ask him to come back. Then she knocks again and rings the bell. Gathering up his nerve he yells through the door,

"Go away there's nobody home!" He turns back to head to the sofa.

"Come on Castle I know your in there, just open the door let me in so we can talk."

"Beckett there's nothing I want to say, so you can go back to the 12th and tell them that you tried."

"Rick, I'm serious. If you don't open up this door I'll stand here and scream until you do!"

"Yeah right Beckett, this from an NYC detective. How old are you anyway?"

What Rick hears next is the shrill of her voice. Oh no she is NOT standing out there screaming.

He swings open the door. She stops screaming and passes him entering the loft.

"So Detective Beckett what do I owe the pleasure for this visit?"

"Hi Castle can I come in?" He thinks for a while standing in the doorway "Why detective I think that you have already taken care of that." As he slams the front door. He turns and stares at her

"Earth to Castle"

"I'm so sorry Detective. Just have a lot on my mind"

As he walks past her she smells the scotch on his breath.

"A little early for a drink don't you think"?

He is not pleased with her comment, "Who are you the alcohol police? Is there an unwritten law somewhere stating that I can't enjoy a drink at (he looks at his watch) 7:23 in the evening?"

"Easy Castle it was just a joke." Kate responds back.

"Yeah, well I am not in a joking mood. What do you want Beckett?"

He was never this pissed at her... ever. And here at the loft he almost uses her last name.

"Well, I am here to see if you might reconsider coming back to shadow me again?"

Raising the glass for another sip "Why would I want to do that Kate?"

"You need to for your research. You need to get more of a back story on Nikki Heat."

"You know Kate, I have more than enough information by following you around for the last three years to write the next 25 books. I'll be sitting on easy street!"

He turns back to the bar to refill his now empty glass. "Rick what's going on"

"Whatever are you talking about Detective?"

"I know something is bothering you, if you just open up to me and let me in...He cuts her off.

"Open up to you are you for real Kate?"

He thinks about what he needs to say to her, and then lets it all out. You know Kate we are never going to be "with" each other. You never open up to me and your always going to have your mother's case lurking in the background and I am so tired of it. She looks at him with daggers in her eyes.

"How dare you Castle" She won't let him disrespect her mom.

"How dare I, Your not serious are you? Kate you let this thing consume every inch of your soul and you can't let it go and Kate you know they will kill you some day, don't you.

She looks away from him in disgust and then she turns to say something, but he already is talking to her.

"You know Kate we kiss and we never talk about it, we almost die frozen in each other's arms and we still never talk about it. So you know what I don't know what we are but you know something you won't need to worry about that anymore. You won't have to worry about having the schools funniest kid running around bothering you anymore.

She stops mid step as he moves back to the bar to refill his glass that's empty once again. She looks at him with concern.

"What's changed Castle."

"Beckett, like I said you don't need to worry yourself over my hurt ego, Espo was right I'm not a cop. Now go and take care of Josh and leave me in peace alright?"

Kate thinks to herself Oh shit he still thinks I'm with Josh. She has to tell him that they are done and it ended a while ago.

"Rick there is something important I need to tell you"

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"About 3 weeks ago Josh and I broke up." Castle is not moved by her statement. "Rick, did you hear what I just said?"

"Kate I did hear you and like I told you before we will never be *with* each other." She doesn't get what he is trying to say that is until she starts putting together the pieces that were right in front of her face, the limping, the food, the confession of giving his wealth away, and of course Roy's statement.

"How long do you have?" he looks at her shocked but he realizes that she is a detective first grade and he knew she would figure it out sooner or later, he was really hoping for later though.

They say about nine months, now can you please go back to your life so I can live mine until mine is done with.

"No, Rick there is got to be something we can do right? Specialists we can call, doctors we can see what about a second opinion?"

"Kate, I am told that my leukemia will probably progress to stage 2 very soon and it has a very low survival rate even with the most aggressive chemo and radiation." So even though there might be a cure for an earlier stage of this disease it would not help me being I'm past that stage."

Wanting to be done with this conversation he moves to the front door. She looks at him with a look of confusion or her face.

"Rick what's going on?"

"Kate, I asked you to leave so I could live the rest of my life. Alone!

"But Rick why?" She asks hoping they can salvage whatever they might have together.

"Kate all we are is partners we don't have a claim to each other right? You have never shown an interest in me or what I could offer you so why on earth would you want to hitch your wagon to a dying mule now? Seriously, think about this for a second in about a year I will be dead and buried and this will leave your heart broken in pieces. I could not let myself in all honesty have you be with me for 4 months knowing what the end result will be!"

Kate says "Well I don't think this is your decision to make"

"Kate that is a great gesture but I am not having this conversation with you. When you return to the 12th please be understanding when you tell everyone what has happened with me and why I won't be returning back. Oh and by the way tell Espo that I am sorry I blew up at him and I forgive him totally, it was just all the stress of these damn tests I had to take. Castle opens the door and Kate reluctantly walks towards him.

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind is there?"

He looks at her tenderly and tells her.

"Just seeing you here in front of me is enough for I have loved a lifetime." She turns and walks through the loft's front door and takes one step into the hallway as he closes the door behind her. She leans back against the door and slides down to the floor crying softly so he won't hear her. What she doesn't know is that he is on the other side of the door and he is doing exactly the same thing and as if it was fate they both let out a faint whisper at the same time saying "I Love You."

About an hour later she has composed herself enough to leave his loft. Heading back to her car she decides to head home leaving the notification of his condition to the 12th until the next morning.

As she opens her front door she thinks about getting something quick and easy to eat, she does and she eats thinking of him. Finishing her food she gets herself ready for bed. Tossing and turning most of the night she really can't get a good nights sleep. Looking over at the clock it reads So much for sleep she thinks. Starting her morning ritual she is ready to leave in about 40 minutes. Driving into work was never this quick because there was no one out at this hour. She walks through the precinct and sits at her desk. It's now 5:30 am. Sorting through the pile of paperwork she finishes up notes on 2 other cases and closes them out. Noticing the time the boys should be strolling in soon. She gets up to make a cup of coffee and thinks back to when he brought her coffee from that great coffee shop, the one where they always got her order right. She misses him and should have acted on what she felt in her heart in the loft last night.

Her desk phone rings and she answers it, to her surprise the line is silent and then she knows exactly who it is. "Alexis are you okay? She says into the empty line. She can hear soft weeping on the other end and then that's when she loses it too. Espo and Ryan look over to her desk as they walk in and see that she is crying sitting at her desk. Hanging up the phone she makes her way out of the bullpen and passing the boys she asks them to cover her for about 2 hours. They nod and watch her leave the floor. Pulling up at the Columbia housing complex she enters the dorm where Alexis Castle stays.


	6. Chapter 6

Walking up to the first floor Kate knocked on Alexis's dorm door. She had a private room, such were the spoils of having a rich father. The door opens slowly revealing a red eyed Alexis Castle. Katee looks at her and sees her tear stained cheeks and enters the dorm room. Taking her in for a comforting hug she feels herself starting to cry, again.

"What am I going to do Detective? I can't believe that this is happening to him!"

"Well first of all from here on out you are going to start by calling me Kate"

"Okay Kate"

"Secondly we are going to need to convince your father that his life is worth living and he can't think that his life is over...and neither can we! He needs to know that there are people here on this earth that would miss him greatly if he was gone. Alexis, we will get him through this I am not giving him up on him without a fight. But I am going to need to know you are with me so that together we get him the treatment he needs to make it through this."

"A fight, what are you saying? Do you have feelings for my dad Kate? Don't you say something that will turn out to hurt him at the end of this journey, if you like him then tell me!" Kate knows she needs to be honest with Alexis. If not this could all be for nothing.

"Alexis while I may be an emotionally closed off woman, and I protect my heart with brick walls, and I never really tell anyone whats on my mind but yes, I have feelings for your dad. No wait scratch that I am in love with your father our relationship has moved way past "like" and has moved to me loving him and I also love you too. So I can't watch something like this tear you apart. It would hurt too me too much."

"So Kate, whats our first move?"

Kate smiles before answering her "He is still at the loft right?"

"Yeah, I think he is."

"Okay this is what we are going to do..."

After about an hour talking about how they are going to save Castle they both depart her dorm room and head back the 12th to have a meeting with Captain Montgomery and then the whole precinct. Calling everyone to the conference room all ears are on Kate and Alexis. "Can I have everyone's attention please" The room is hushed and everyone stood there waited for the duo to continue.

"For those who don't know her, standing next to me is Richard Castles daughter Alexis. What we need to tell you might come as a shock to some of you."

Alexis starts talking and continues "My dad has been recently diagnosed with stage 1 leukemia." Everyone just stood there overcome by they had just heard. Montgomery dropped his face into his hands, Ryan was looking like a ghost. Espo was now feeling like a total ass and is now regretting how he treated his friend the other day. Well he had hoped that he was still his friend.

"Now what we want to do is make him feel that he is needed here at the 12th. What we mean is to keep up what you have already been doing with him when you interact with him. Try not to purposely go out of your way to make him feel needed, just go about your day as you normally would and let him notice that you support him. Together we will get him through this. He knows everyone in this room, actually he knows all of you better than I do. And this is one of the things that makes him who he is, he gets involved in every aspect of everyone's life. "

Thanking everyone the main squad of the 12th hits the streets to protect the city. Roy asks Kate whats next on her list for Rick. Kate tells him that she will need some time off to do a lot of research about his disease. He grants the time off without question. He does this because Kate never takes any time off at all so he knows that she has the time and because one of their own needs their support. Kate thanks him and heads over to where Javi and Kevin are standing. Roy watches as she leaves and he hopes that maybe this will get her to open her eyes to seeing Rick for more than he is to her, more than just a partner.

"Guys I am going to be away from the team for a couple of days, but you can still reach me by phone but only if you are running up against a wall and need a new direction to go in."

Ryan asks what she is going to do and can he and Espo help her? She loves Kevin "Kev listen I am going to be doing a lot of research about Castles disease. If I can use you I will call you okay?"

He smiles back at her and tells her "He will get through this because he has one hell of a support team!." Javi shakes him head in agreement. She is so proud of her friends.

"So could you guys take a suggestion without getting mad? They both nod, I know that this is like rubbing salt in an open wound Javi but could dig into the ex-boyfriend for me and see what pops?"

Looking to her with misting eyes he says "On it" Kevin leaves to run the phone records for the ex-boyfriend and watches Kate walk over to Alexis. She only gets so far before her arm is gently tugged back. As she turns she has come face to face with Javi. He is in tears as he hugs her and as he speaks to her. He tells her...

"Kate, I need to tell you to tell Rick that I am so ashamed about how I acted the other morning. If I could take it all back you know in your heart that I would. I'm such an asshole."

"Listen to me Javi, Getting Rick to come out of this whole and healthy is the only goal that I have right now. This job, you guys, all the paperwork is so secondary to what he needs now. So there is where my priority's are. I know that your sorry, but please let's get him better okay?" he nods and releases her.

Kate and turns coming face to face with Alexis who has tears running down her cheeks as well. She takes her into a heartwarming hug and then releases her too and says

"Okay Alexis are you ready for the next phase?" She looks at Kate and smiles with a big smile and says "I can't wait, Kate"

They leave the 12th they head over to the New York Public Library. It was just about 3pm and they thought they could get at least the basic knowledge of leukemia understood before the library had closed. Even though it was a blood disease it was one that could be treated if it was not stage 4 yet. Kate remembered Castle telling her that he was soon to be moved from stage 1 to stage 2. This disease was a damn serious disorder. Kate read that it attacked from within and the healthy white blood cells would be attacked by the abnormal cells by crowding out the healthy red blood cells in the bone marrow.

Alexis had found a research article about how the leukemia can spread very quickly and in a matter of months a patient could have gone from stage 1 to stage 2 or 3 in a short amount of time depending what type of leukemia the patient actually had. Looking at each other they read on. Noticing that it was getting late they decided to gather all the research they had and head out. Getting in the car Kate had mentioned to Alexis that she should consider staying over at her place just for tonight so they could talk and decide what was the best approach was to go up against their stubborn man.

Alexis thought to herself with all the work Kate has just put in there is no way she could be just a friend to him so she apprehensively asked her

"Kate you really are in love with him aren't you?"

"Alexis you have no idea how much in love with him I am, last night before I decided that he was my one and done I was leaning against the door to the loft crying like a baby. I whispered ever so softly that I loved him. I know that he never heard what I said and I am really going to need to get my act together and tell him how I feel, but we need to deal with what's right here in front of us first."

"Kate, I'm not trying to be disrespectful of you but that's a line of crap! And you know it! The heart wants what the heart wants, and yours is no different. Someone told me this and I know that you have heard it before and you know exactly who said it to you. So before we tell him what we are going to do to save his life, the both of you are going to get your feelings out in the open and resolve this. In the long run it will probably help him with his health and his recovery. Kate was stunned at her comment, but then again maybe she was right, in so many ways she saw Rick in her eyes.

Then Alexis said "Kate do you know why I want you and my dad together so baldy?" Coming out of her haze again looking across the car Kate has a blank look on her face. "No Alexis I'm not too sure"

"Well it's like this Kate, not only have you worked your way into my dads heart you also have found a place in mine as well. For the longest time I have looked up to you, you are a very dynamic woman, someone who I want to follow and it makes me strive for more in my life. I can't describe the feelings I get when we talk together sometimes. It can be about anything, boys, school, and just life in general. You are more of a mother to me than my real mom is and I don't want to lose what we have together. So what I am asking you is to please let him know how you feel okay?"

Kate had never realized that her actions had affected more than just Rick. Looking over to Alexis again she promised that she would. Starting the car she pulled out of the library parking lot and in about 25 minutes they were at her place.

Kate had asked "Alexis do you want anything from the pizza place?" Alexis said "Sure I'd love a ham and cheese calzone"

Kate placed the order with what she thought was the best pizza place in her opinion.

The delivery boy came and left his pocket just a little heavier due to the $10.00 tip gave him, now they were sitting down at the table eating. As they ate they were both thinking about Castle. With dinner done they went into the living room and Kate turned on the 11pm newscast. Alexis had decided to get ready for bed, that was until she heard that one of the topics at the top of the newscast which was on a leukemia treatment. That had caught her attention. And it was also weird that they had done a lot of research on the disease and now there was now a story on a possible treatment.

There was a new type of leukemia treatment that suspends the disease, it does not cure it but it gives the patient time to try to find a permanent cure. Alexis ran over to Kate's couch and almost sat in her lap. Looking at the television screen she absorbed all the information that the reporter had given. Kate told her that they would call someone in the morning. Hearing this report was good news.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The loft was a very lonely place, Rick was thinking that his life was over. Not doing even half of the things on his bucket list and he was deeply disappointed with that. Ever since he made the list he had always thought about Kate when he thought it up.

His mother was working on a festival down in Australia. She would not return until late November. Since she was so far from home he decided that the less she knew about his condition the better. It was not that he wanted to keep it from her but there was no sense in worrying her while she was perfecting her craft so far away from New York City.

Thinking back to when he made Kate leave last night he was ashamed about how he found about how Kate felt about him. She was unaware of the recent video and audio system he had installed right outside of the loft's front door. It recorded her every move and all of what she had said even if it was at a whisper. He had the video and audio that caught everything she had said. He had rewound it about 50 times and he could not get what she said out of his head..."I Love You". He was such an ass not asking her to stay even though he knew that it was really a terrible idea that they get involved now.

Really what would be the point he would be dead inside 8 or 9 months and where would that leave her...without him and brokenhearted. He could not do that to the woman he loved. Getting off his chair by the desk he decided to place an order for food at the local eatery he liked. He was in no mood to clean up after what he had cooked and well he was rich, no time like the present to squander his wealth.

Kate woke with a start she thought she had heard a noise in her apartment and instinctively went for her weapon, but she had stopped thinking to last night she remembered that Alexis was in the guest bedroom. Quickly holstering her weapon she got up to see if she needed anything. Opening the door she watched as Alexis slept soundly. Today would be a long and tedious day, so she let her sleep as long as her body would let her. Heading out to the kitchen to start up her coffee maker she added water to the machine. Yeah this was going to be a really long day...

Alexis got up about a half hour later. Heading into the bathroom she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Coming out she noticed Kate sitting at the Island drinking a cup of coffee.

"Lex do you want a cup?"

"Sure Kate, thanks"

Kate got up and retrieved a mug from the cabinet and poured her a cup. Placing it on the island counter she was deep in thought when Alexis had returned dressed and ready for the day. "Kate...KATE!"

"Sorry Alexis I was just thinking about your Dad"

"What were you thinking?"

"Well what if he has made up his mind about not living?" "He was pretty sure that he was not going to recover from what he has"

"You know what...we are going to need to convince him otherwise."

Kate finished her coffee and got a shower and got dressed. Grabbing all their research, her car keys, and purse they went out to try to do the impossible... to save Richard Castle!


	7. Chapter 7

When Kate and Alexis had arrived at the loft Alexis used her key to open the front door. There was a mess everywhere. Half eaten food in dirty take out containers littered the kitchen floor and breakfast island, empty scotch bottles and by the looks of it, it had looked like he had a party and invited half of New York City to come. This was not what they were hoping for. They were worried when they could not find him anywhere. Checking all the rooms in the loft they finally found him in the bathroom slumped over the toilet with his head near the bowl. Kate was amazed to see that he would have gone this far and think that his life was over.

"Alexis please get the coffee maker brewing, we're going to need a lot of help here."

Alexis turned to the kitchen and worked on getting her dad somewhat sober again. She had thought about cooking him something to eat but then quickly chose to just settle on the caffeine end of his recovery. Kate gently placed her hand on Rick's back. Rubbing gently along his spine she felt him stir a little bit and as he tried to raise his head she looked him in the face and then she winced at what she saw. It seems that Rick had had a little too much scotch last night and it looked like he went 5 rounds with George Foreman. His right cheek was cut pretty deep, he had a black eye, and there was dried blood at the end of his nose.

"Rick what happened here?" She really did not expect him to answer her question due to the fact that he was probably still drunk, but all she heard was a groggy Castle mention something about falling into the toilet a couple of times...hard. Lifting his arm to her because he wanted to get up. She told him to hang out there for a second because she knew that it would take the two of them to get him back to the bed. Kate called for Alexis and when she got into the bathroom she took a step back when she noticed his face, "Kate, what happened to his face?"

"Well, it seems that your dad went a couple of rounds with the toilet here."

"Wow, is he okay?"

"I am sure that he will definitively be hung over, but let's get him cleaned up and see how he looks after that okay?"

Getting him up was harder than they had first thought he was like a sack of potatoes. He really could not help them that much so they ended up dragging him back to the bed and while standing at the edge of the bed they both grabbed an arm and pulled him up onto it. Getting him out of his robe and pajama bottoms Kate and Alexis covered him up with the comforter. Kate retrieved the first aid kit from the bathroom and started taking care of his cuts and bruises. The gash on his cheek was deep and she was not sure but it could have used a couple of stitches, so instead she placed 3 butterfly steri-strips to close up his wound. After she was finished with him she thought the black eye would hurt the most. He did not look that bad, but he was still going to have a hell of a hangover later on when he gets up. As she retreats from his room she looks at his sleeping form, hoping that he will listen to what she and Alexis need to tell him. Going back down to the kitchen Kate decided to have a cup of coffee with Alexis.

"So how do you think we should move forward." Alexis asked?

Kate said, "Well I really don't think it would be a great idea if we hammer him with all the research we found do you?"

"No, your right let's get him sober and then we will hit him with it hard." Alexis smiled and Kate laughed and said

"Since it's almost dinner time I have an idea for something quick and simple that I can throw together would you want me to make it?"

Alexis is amazed at the love she feels for Kate she is always a person to think about what everyone else needs before putting what she wants or her needs first.

"Kate I would love whatever you throw together. Can I help you?"

Kate says, "Sure all we need are 4 things basically" "Can you eat hot spicy foods?

Alexis nods to the positive.

"Okay, we will need about one pound of Angus chopped meat, Heinz brown gravy, Uncle Ben's minute rice, various hot spices and Adobe meat tenderizer and a half pound of shrimp."

"So, could you prepare the rice and I will prep the shrimp and brown the meat?"

Alexis cherishes moments like these knowing that Meredith is missing out on the closeness that they could share, but instead she is sharing it with her future stepmother she hopes...

"Okay Alexis I am finished with the shrimp and the meat now can you add the gravy to the rice and then we will throw in all together and add the spices."

Just as they finish making their meal an unexpected guest stumbles down the stairs obviously awakened by the tempting aroma of what they were making. He inhales the delicious aroma and wants to ask what that is so "Hey guys what is that great aroma?"

Alexis says, "Dad it's a recipe that Detective Beckett told me was handed down from her mom to her, why are you hungry?"

"I am so famished I could eat a side of beef."

"Kate looks to Alexis and says, "Alexis do you remember what I told you earlier?"

Alexis looks at her apprehensively and then it hits her "Sorry, Kate"

Kate looks to them exchanging comments together and wishes so badly that she was a part of their family. She really needs to get her feelings out in the open and maybe what Alexis said could be true. Maybe if she told Rick that she loved him it might help his recovery.

Finishing up the preparation of what she is making she plates the food and sets it down for the three of them on the table. "I hope you like what Alexis and I have made Rick"

Rick is a little taken back with the use of his first name. She never uses it in a non-police/partner setting. They eat and the topic becomes about the Yankees and Rick asks Kate if she has been to a game recently. She tells him with her current workload she has not been to a game in a while. Either he is still hung over or he is famished but he loves what they have made clearing his plate twice.

They finish their meal and Kate likes what she sees, two people satisfied with what she and Alexis had prepared. Alexis gets up to clear the dirty dishes and then she gets a little close to Kate for her liking, she leans into Kate's shoulder and tells her that now is the time. Kate is unsure what she means but then she remembers. Gathering up her nerve to ask him to come with her she is at war with what she wants and what she needs to tell him.

"Rick, can we move into the living room?"

He tells her "Sure is anything wrong?"

She says, "There is something we need to discuss okay?"

He agrees and gets up from the table looking back to Alexis for some possible explanation, but she just gives him nothing. So he is thinking that she wants him to return back to the 12th giving her and the boys one more chance. He sits down on the leather couch and motions her to sit too. She walks over not too sure where to start. She kicks off her 5-inch heels and sits getting comfortable she draws her legs under her thighs. Flipping her hair, she is still unsure about how to start. "Rick there is something I need you to know." Rick looks into her beautiful green eyes knowing that what she needs to say is nothing he should joke about right now. "Go on Kate what is it?"

"Well I need to make a statement but expressing myself is not always an easy thing for me."

He takes her hands into his and tells her "Just speak from your heart" "It will never fail you" "Just tell me what's in your heart, Kate."

Kate thinks about what he just said because he has a way with words, they always make things for her so much easier and then she lets everything she has been thinking about out. "Rick I thought you were a real jackass when I first met you 3 years ago." He looks at her anticipating her next sentence but since she has remained silent he says, "Yeah, those were the days right!" "Castle please let me finish before you start joking around. I am trying to be serious here okay?"

He closes his mouth and lets her finish what she needs to say.

"Well, a lot of things have happened since then."

Alexis looks over to Kate and she hopes that she can get out what she really needs to say to him.

"Rick I am in love with you and not just like a playground crush sorta thing, what I mean to say is that I am mind, body and soul totally in love with you I have been for quite a while."

Rick's mouth falls open and he can't believe what she has just told him. He flashes back to the security tablet and how he rewound what she whispered 50 times yesterday and thought why now.? Was she just yanking his chain? She really can't mean this after what he went through.

Kate stares blindly at Rick waiting for some type of response. Alexis now walks over and sits down on the coffee table noticing the blank look on his face. "Dad" he is still in a comatose state. "Rick" Kate calls out. Rick is thinking about a response, but it's like he is daydreaming. Finally, he moves. "Kate I am glad that you have come to terms with what you are feeling towards me. And the fact that you have finally made this known, but there is still one little problem"

Kate looks at him unassumingly and waits for him to continue.

"Kate why now? What you're telling me now must have been a weight lifted off your shoulders and I am glad that you have faced your innermost secrets, but I have been in love with you ever since our 3rd case. I am glad that you have realized now what I have known all along, but your admission of love still won't change the fact that after about a year I won't be here any longer."

Alexis chimes in and tells her dad "You know what dad, you should not really open your mouth until you have all the facts"

Rick looks at his daughter with a perplexed look on his face "Alexis what aren't you telling me?"

Kate loves their interaction and she can't wait until Alexis gives him the news.

"Kate, would you want to continue?"

"Alexis I have already said my peace now it's your turn." Castle is now lost with what's happening around him between his two girls. "can I ask what is going on...please?"

Alexis starts with "Dad we are to try to accomplish two tasks here the first was already revealed and the next is that myself and Kate think that we have a possible plan of attack for your leukemia. We were researching your disease and possible cures at Kate's apartment last night, when sometime around 11 pm we were watching the news at her place and the reporter came on with a report that a drug company was having positive results with using a drug that actually stunts the progression of leukemia.

Castle looks over to Kate and with the look on his face asks her if this is true. She simply nods yes. If it is one thing that they do together, they really can share their thoughts with just the right look. He pulls both of them in for a huge full bear hug. Neither of them can hardly breathe because he really is a big guy and they are so petite so he lets go and then hugs each of them individually. Now that he has a possible new lease on life he wants to know what they had found out. Kate and Alexis grab a hand of his each and pull him over to the kitchen breakfast bar and show him where they had all their research set out. Pouring over all the information Castle was starting to see that there might be a way to beat what he has. He is amazed at the work that they put into finding out if there was actually a cure. They talk at length for about 3 hours and after they have considered all the options Rick asks "well what do you two think?"

The both of them tell him that they should really investigate the information from the news report. There might be a trial drug that they could get him on and start trying to find a permanent cure while he was in a suspended state. Rick concluded their little meeting and was so happy that he had asked Alexis to go to her room. She looked at him with a sour face and asked why. He told her that someone had just confessed their love for him and he wanted to talk to her about it. She understood and excused herself to him and Kate. Kate threw a wave, winked, and said goodnight, while Rick walked up to her and thanked her for all her hard work while he hugged her.

 **A/N: I am in no way in the medical profession. I have done research about this disease and it's possible cures and treatments. To my knowledge, there is NO trial drug that can "suspend" the advancements of leukemia. This story is entirely fiction and is totally A/U. Not in any way in line with the actual show. So as you are reading this please keep this in mind. Thanks.**


	8. Chapter 8

Rick had watched his daughter ascended the stairs to her bedroom. He thought about all the work that both she and Kate had put into finding him a cure, but now there was another issue he needed to address.

"So I hear that someone is in love with me." he said to her.

She looked up to him as he made his way over to the couch. "So Castle how is your hangover?"

"Kate stop deflecting me now, not right after you told me 3 hours ago that you were madly in love with me. And I am not hung over, I maybe a little woosie, but not that hung over."

"Rick, I'm sorry, I have been through a lot in the past 36 hours and I am a bit embarrassed about how I told you how I love you."

"Kate don't ever feel like that if you had not said anything to me tonight I don't think that we would be sitting here together having this conversation right now."

"Rick, what are you saying exactly?"

"Well, Kate you know how you found me right? Well, I was seriously thinking about drinking myself into a place where I could be without feeling any pain and if that meant staying inebriated for months until I was past an actual recovery, then I was willing to do just that."

"Rick what about your Mom and Alexis, and for that matter what about me?"

"Kate, I had thought that we were anything more than just partners and that you had never loved me so I was operating under the assumption that you were okay with us just being partners. I really never thought that you would do what you did to try to find a cure for me."

She looked at him directly but almost in a haze and thought what her life could be like with him, and in a split second she had seen them married, taking care of four children, watching them grow to become adults and then see their children start lives and families of their own. After starting lives of their own, she watched them as they became older citizens sitting on the back deck in their Hamptons getaway house watching the waves roll into the beach and reminiscing about what they had accomplished in their lifetime. Then, startled by his gentle touch he had brought her back to where they were right now. Placing his hand on her cheek he had brought her back to the present.

"Kate...are you okay?"

Returning to the present she wanted what she had envisioned in her daydream.

"Rick I need you to know that we are going to do everything in our power to get you past this point of your illness and get you healthy again."

With that, he asked her if she would do something for him. It almost knocked her on her ass...

"Kate, Alexis is probably sleeping and Mother is with her acting troupe god knows where, so I was wondering if you would do me a favor? Rick was a little hesitant to ask her this. "Kate, I have not been sleeping well these past couple of nights because of the strain of these tests I have taken and I have had more than a bad nightmare or two, but would you mind sleeping with me tonight?"

Kate was breathless, that he would even think about asking her something like this. But she did just tell him that she loved him but after some serious consideration she was just about to say yes to him when he chimed in and told her "I promise no funny business okay?"

She smiled from ear to ear and told him "Rick about that funny business..."

Waking up the next morning Alexis had ventured over to the kitchen and while she walked through the living room she noticed a pair of Dolce & Gabbana leather and suede 5" pumps laying idle near the couch, a blue blazer draped over the dining room chair and a white blouse and blue dress pants hanging off the kitchen chair. She thought to herself that well at least this part of their plan had been well executed. Starting the coffee maker Alexis thought of how Kate and herself would make the transition between good friends and a mother and daughter type of relationship. The coffee machine was emitting a wonderful aroma and her thoughts went to Kate. She longed to share her life with her in more ways than what they have already done.

Kate smelled the heavenly scent of coffee. It was a wonderful scent, but then again Rick had the resources to get any kind of coffee he wanted. Waking next to Rick they fit so well together that she really did not want to leave him, but her body had other ideas. Nature was calling. Very carefully and making sure to keep him asleep, she slid off the bed and went to the bathroom and made an attempt to look presentable. She felt a slight chill walking to the bathroom wearing nothing but her smile. She admired her form in the full length mirror after closing the bathroom door. Last night was exceptional. She was thinking back to what they both had done last night, Rick had brought her to climax four times. She never realized how talented he was with his tongue. He never thought of himself when he was giving her oh so much pleasure but when she had questioned him about his own satisfaction, he replied with "Kate just being here and being able to make you so happy is really all I need. Not taking his answer to heart she told him "Rick I meant what I said earlier last night, I am unconditionally and totally in love with you." He looked at her with concern in his eyes. "Kate I have no doubt in my mind that what you told me was from your heart and you can never go wrong by listening to what it wants."

Then she asked him "Rick I want you to make love to me while I appreciate how you are able to please me in other ways there is no way that you shouldn't enjoy what we can share together." Kate had decided right then and there that she would give her body to him and let him do whatever he wanted to do to her. She was in love with this man and she knew that he would never hurt her.

Her mind thinks back to how much they were able to give of themselves last night and most of this morning, and when she had released her whole body and soul to the man she had totally loved she was happy. He had made love to her and even though he was able to please her orally, she felt a bond that would not be severed when they made love. Checking herself in the mirror she opened the bathroom door and quietly watched Rick in the bed gently breathing. He was lying in the bed with the sheet draped over his thighs, but all she could see his broad chest. What a sight she thought to herself as she watched him lying there for about 5 minutes. She walked over to the end of the bed where Rick had dropped his dark blue button down shirt and drew it up against her body. She inhaled the scent from the shirt and decided that she would wear it. She put it on loving the feeling that she had a connection to him...still.

Leaving the bedroom, she was shocked at what she saw. It was almost a 5-course breakfast on the table. Alexis had not only made coffee, but she had made pancakes, 3 types of eggs, scrambled, sunny side up and over easy, sausage links and patties, and waffles. Kate was amazed and asked Alexis "What is all this food for?"

Alexis replied, "Well I would guess that the both of you will need some energy so I figured that you would be starving by now."

Kate's face turned about 2 shades of red.

"Alexis you really out did.."

Alexis had cut her off mid sentence "So Kate, how was it?"

Alexis, you have no idea how happy I am right at this very moment. You have an amazing father."

"Well I am glad that we at least accomplished something"

Kate retreated to where Alexis had set up all the food, took a plate and added a little of everything she had made. Sitting down at the breakfast bar she ate heartily. Alexis then did the same. After they were finished eating Kate got up and walked oven to Alexis. Asking her to stand she compiled and then without warning she drew Alexis into her for a hug, Alexis was not expecting what she was offering but after a second she wrapped her arms around Kate and hugged her back. This is how people who love each other show their feelings. With the hug over they started thinking about how to tackle the next problem at hand and how to contact the drug company that had the drug that could give Castle a fighting chance.

They had made a list of things they needed to do. In the meantime Kate thought she would give the boys and Captain Montgomery an update. Calling Ryan's cell phone he answered on the second ring.

"Beckett, So how is Castle.?"

Kate told him about the trial drug that they were trying to get him on. But they were still in the fact-finding mode. Kate asked to speak to Javi, Kevin handed the phone to him and he gave his trademark answer "Esposito" with emphasis on the "O"

Javi it's me Kate, I just wanted to tell you that Castle forgives you for what happened between the both of you the other day at the precinct. He blamed his shortness and lack of restraining himself on the tests he needed to take, they were very traumatic to him.

Espo is trying to swallow the lump in his throat and he tells Kate

"Kate you tell that man he has nothing to apologize for what so ever. I was an ass and I should be telling him that I was the one at fault. I just hope he is able to find it in his heart to forgive me."

Kate thinks about his last statement and she can't imagine Castle not being able to forgive their friend. She disconnects the call and looks to Alexis and says, "Are you ready.?"

"Never have I been so ready for anything in my life."

Calling the drug company that produced the drug they needed more information on, they were starting to think that they were getting the runaround. They were being transferred from one department to another and getting no results. It had been hours and then finally they got a break, but not from the Public Relations Department as they thought, but they somehow they got connected to a Research and Development staff member and it just so happened that she was working on the very same drug they were asking about. Her name was Jo Ann Bardin. She was the lead researcher on the new drug. She had asked how Kate had gotten her extension here and Kate could not provide a straight forward answer. All she told her that was she had been on the phone for the last four and a half hours trying to get just a little bit of information.

Jo Ann Bardin had been the lead researcher on this new dynamic drug that they had actually discovered by mistake. It was the result of two parts of their R & D staff coming up with the two main ingredients that led to the discovery of this promising new drug. The staff had the idea of combining the root oils of the Polygala X dalmaisiana plant with that of the cone snail toxin commonly known as zicontide. The team with going through the trials required for the FDA and was just about to start testing the drug on human subjects. The trials on the animal subjects were very promising. There was also an added benefit also. It seemed that this new drug had also been able to reverse the devastating effects that diabetes had brought on in about 78% of the animal test subjects. All Jo Ann needed was the final approval from the FDA to start administering this drug to the people who needed it.

Asking Kate why she was calling her she was still waiting for an answer.

"Jo Ann my boyfriend has leukemia and I was wondering if he might be eligible for this new drug that your company is developing."

"I'm sorry who are you again?"

"My name is Kate Beckett and my boyfriend is Richard Castle."

"Wait... Richard Castle as in the mystery novelist?"

"Yes, one in the same."

"Okay So, what would do you want to know?"

"I need to know if we can get a two month supply of this drug that you are developing for leukemia?"

"Miss Beckett, what are you talking about? We are only just now finished up with animal subject testing about two weeks ago and now we are still about four or five months away before we can start testing this drug on human subjects."

Kate's heart sunk to its lowest point during their conversation. This was not the news she had hoped for. Alexis would be crushed.

"Jo Ann, is there any way to speed up the distribution for this drug?"

Jo Ann tells her that there is no way that she will be that careless with a drug that could be so beneficial to all patients. But on the other hand, she knows her boyfriends diagnosis is a life-threatening disease.

"Kate I am not promising you anything, but there could be a trial sometime in the near future that we might be able to get Richard into."

Kate thanks her and gives Jo Ann all the information on Rick and his background.

Hanging up her cell phone she looks to the call timer on the phones face and notices two things, the battery is almost dead and the last call she was on was a little under six and a half hours. She stretches her tired body. Looking around for Alexis she notices her there asleep on the love seat. She was probably tired of Kate being on the phone for so long and fell asleep waiting. Walking over to the love seat she kneels down to where she can see Alexis face, nudging her gently she wakes quickly and a little startled.

"Kate?"

"Lex, it's okay now I have some news, but I am sure it can wait until tomorrow morning."

"Why don't we get some sleep and in the morning I will make breakfast this time."

Sleepily she agrees and gets up to head to her bedroom, it's just shy of midnight and she needs some sleep.

With Alexis on her way to dreamland, Kate turns to Ricks bedroom. He has been asleep since before she had placed her call to the drug company. Sure she had noticed him around the loft earlier, but this call was important and she could not talk to him. Opening the door she sees him there sleeping soundly and just takes him in...he is amazing.

 **A/n: Once again I am not a not a person who is in the medical field. Please remember that this is a story of FICTION. Nothing within these passages should be taken as the truth. To the guest reviewer, I understand that there are cures for this disease, but this is fiction. P2P**


	9. Chapter 9

Yes, he was amazing and he was hers. Now if she could only get Jo Ann to admit him to be on the trial for this new drug they would be set. As she watched him breathe in and out while he slept, she wondered if this was all going to work out. Her doubts were plentiful when she had talked to Jo Ann. Having him in this trial was the only way he could survive. Well, maybe not the only way but she really did not want to face any new challenges. She had loved him for quite some time but was his sickness the reason she had let him know this? Was this just a way for her to see what she could be missing if she never said anything to him? She did not really know the answer to that question, but she was sure that he had really loved her from the beginning of their pairing, but she really wanted to take their love to the next level. She wanted to be Mrs. Rick Castle. Now thinking to herself before she makes her devotion known they should really get him through what he needs to deal with now. They can come later.

Walking over to the bed she slips between the sheets and instantly feels the semi warm heat of his body, it's a feeling that she never wants to forget. Wrapping her arm around his arm and upper chest she draws him into her small frame. Within seconds, she is asleep and dreaming of what they could be together. It seems like five minutes, but it has actually been seven hours since she laid down next to him. She wakes with a chill and notices that he must be freezing but he is still fast asleep and she can't help but think how he can sleep through it all with her body against his. He has been sleeping since about eight o'clock last night. Then it hits her like a ton of bricks, and she is suddenly scared. She never remembers him getting close to her like he did the night before after they had made love together.

Reaching around to his wrist she places her index finger onto his radial artery on his wrist looking for a pulse. She is not feeling anything there and then goes to his neck and feels his carotid artery, finding something that closely resembles a faint pulse she screams for Alexis to come into his bedroom. Jumping up to roll him onto his back she looks for any sign of life in his eyes. What she sees scares the shit out of her. His eyes are more of a gray blue rather than Persian blue that his eyes usually are. Something is terribly wrong here. She again yells for Alexis because she is the only one to help her.

Alexis runs into bedroom not knowing what's going on. She is a bit ashamed and looking away because Kate had not realized that she was topless. She was safe because she had a sport brief on but on top she was au natural.

"Kate" Alexis looked at Kate and did not really want to stare but she made the comment "I know that you and my dad are now used to seeing each other undressed, but however while I think the female body is an amazing form, I am not one who appreciates seeing a half naked woman in my dad's bed."

Kate looked down and immediately drew her arms across her breasts and turns about 10 shades of crimson red. Kate runs over to the bathroom and throws on a Giants jersey Rick had hanging on the back of the bathroom door. While she is running into the bathroom, Kate tells Alexis to dial 911 over her shoulder and let them know what's going on with him, doing so the 911 dispatcher asks Alexis what the nature of her call is. Walking back into the bedroom now fully covered she asks Kate to take the phone and relay his symptoms. "Hello, this is Detective Beckett from the 12th precinct homicide division."

"Yes, Detective, what is your situation."

"I have a 43-year-old male with shallow breathing, clammy skin, and very low blood pressure, and he also seems to be very dehydrated."

"Detective we have a bus in route and please stay on the line with me until they get there okay?"

Kate agrees and then the dispatcher tells her to do the following If the person in distress has any binding clothing either remove the items or loosen them. Get a cold compress and place it on his forehead. Lay him flat on the bed and keep an eye on his pupils.

Kate moves to get Castle flat on the bed and asks Alexis to get a hand towel and soak it in cold water and bring it back to her. Kate pulls Castles eyelids up and notices that his pupils are equal and responsive to light.

Alexis returns with the compress and she places it on his forehead. He is wearing boxers and a tight t-shirt so with Alexis's help they pull him up to a sitting position and remove his t-shirt. His body is still unresponsive as she lays him back down on the bed. Kate places the compress on his forehead and gives Alexis a concerned look.

"Kate, what's wrong with my dad?"

"Alexis I think his blood pressure had dropped pretty low because he is severely dehydrated. But that might not be everything that's wrong with him."

"But Kate how did this happen he was fine last night and we both saw him before he went to bed."

"Yes, but Alexis I hadn't really checked in on him because I was on the phone for like forever and when I got done you were asleep and we just went to bed." Kate really did not want to go into what happened with her dad and herself after she went to Rick's bed.

There was a knock on the door and Alexis had ran to the door to let the EMT's into the loft. Rolling the stretcher into his bedroom they quickly assessed Rick. Kate stood by and watched in total panic as they were checking his vitals and checking his airway. Sliding him closer and quickly to the side of the bed thanks to the silk sheets he was lying on they lifted him off the sheets and onto the stretcher and secured him to it. Raising the stretcher to hip level they rolled him out of the bedroom and to the elevator within seconds. Then with lights and sirens they were off. Kate needed to get to the hospital and asked Alexis to come with her because she would need to have someone to lean on right now, and she thought that Castle would never leave her alone. Both of them were getting dressed and they were in Kate's unmarked before they knew it. The ride to Columbia was a nightmare, Kate was really tempted to throw on her strobe lights and drive on the wrong side of the road just to get around some of these deranged New York City drivers. Finally getting to open up the police interceptors engine she hit just about 80 miles per hour heading north on the West Side highway. Exiting at 158th street and making a quick left turn onto Broadway moving north to 165th Street they were still pouring on the gas. It was only a quick 7 blocks and then they would be there. Three minutes later they were pulling up to the Emergency entrance. Parking in an official parking area both Kate and Alexis ran from the car and to their surprise they had beat the ambulance to the hospital.

Waiting by the E.R. Entrance they spotted the ambulance as it pulled up to the E.R. bay and walked to the first set of double doors. They watched anxiously as the EMT's pulled the stretcher out of the back of the rig. Rolling him into the E.R. Lobby, Alexis reached out and took his hand, finding that it was stone cold. The trauma nurse asked the EMT's what the status was for the patient and they told her his status. Wheeling him into trauma room #2 they quickly took over his care. First order of business they needed to do was start pumping fluids into him. Getting out the IV kit she has placed the IV needle into his arm and tapes it off. Starting a bag of lactated ringers she took his pulse and checked his pupil response, now it was just a matter of waiting while his body recovered from the fluids that now coursed through his veins.

Alexis and Kate were waiting in the ER chairs and while they were worried about Ricks condition they hoped that they were in time to save him. Walking out to the chair area Dr. Wallace was looking for the family of Mr. Castle.

"Family of Mr. Castle? Mr. Castle's family...please."

Kate and Alexis had both jumped from their chairs. Surrounding him they waited patiently waited for the doctor to give them an update.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Wallace, I am going to give you the current status of your umm father?"

Dr. Wallace was sure that Alexis could have been his daughter but was unsure of Kate's relationship with his patient.

"Miss may I ask what your relationship to the patient is?"

Alexis was quickly ready with an answer "Dr. Wallace Kate is my Dad's fiancée"

Kate looks over to Alexis and gives her a look of confusion.

Alright, well what I am going to tell you is not going to effect Mr. Castle in the long run. While his leukemia will certainly play a critical role in his recovery and most likely with his current condition he somehow had become very dehydrated and this condition has dropped his blood pressure so dangerously low that it was life threatening. If the two of you had not called for the ambulance when you had things might have turned out a little bit differently.

He will be on an intravenous saturation of fluids to get rehydrated. This will probably take about 4 to 6 hours. We will monitor him very closely during this time.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

Kate spoke first "Dr. Wallace do you think we might be able to have Rick home tonight?"

Dr. Wallace replies "Kate, listen, here at Columbia have come to the conclusion that treating a patient starts with family. While we could be considered as an extended family, we try to look to a more caring family to fill that void. From what I see in front of me Mr. Castle has a very loving family. I am inclined to think that around noon or 1 pm we should have Mr. Castle home by then, or at the very least have him processed to leave if you will just bear with me, there a couple of tests that I'd like to run on his prior diagnosis. Would this be alright with the two of you?"

Both Kate and Alexis nod in approval. Being that it's almost 10 am Kate thinks that it would be a good idea to have a little talk with Alexis. Being close to Columbia she knows of a very secluded coffee shop that has the most wonderful food to have with their coffee. It has been 11 years since she has set foot in this coffee shop. It is in Washington Heights not too far from where her mom's old practice was. Opening the door she sees the lady behind the counter all of a sudden there is a very loud shriek from behind the counter.

"Katie Bug! How are you, baby girl?"

Kate is a little taken aback by the mention of her nickname her father gave her when she was little.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Kate asked the gray haired woman.

"My name is Amy and when you were younger somewhere around eighteen I guess you and your mom would come into my shop and spend hours talking about what was going on with your life."

"Hello Amy I do remember you I'd like to introduce a friend of mine to you. Her name is Alexis Castle."

"Wait, that name sounds familiar, Alexis isn't your dad a famous mystery writer?"

Alexis looks down to her feet, blushing and nods yes.

"Amy you will have to forgive Alexis, her father is in the hospital as we speak."

Amy inquires "Columbia?"

Kate tells her "Yes, but hopefully he should be discharged later this afternoon."

"Can I ask what for?"

Kate looks to Alexis and she gives Kate a look of approval. "Well Amy you see he has leukemia and he was admitted for severe dehydration earlier this morning."

Amy looks like a ghost now "Kate is he going to be alright?"

"We hope so, the doctor thinks he will be fine. That is except for his leukemia."

"Well, Kate whatever the both of you would like to order from the menu it will be on the house no, ands, ifs, or buts."

Kate looks at Amy and tells her "Amy that will not be necessary. We will pay for what we order."

"Kate listen to me when you and your Mom had come here to sit, talk, drink coffee and eat good food, you and her both had talked about your future, and what you needed to do to get there. This was something I had missed with my daughter and wished I had."

Kate remembers Amy's daughter and then gives in without any further arguments.

They placed their food order and walked over to a table for two.

"Kate what did she mean about everything we order is on the house Kate?"

"Alexis, Amy did have a daughter and by now she would be close to your age."

"Kate what do you mean she would be close to my age?" Alexis cringes a little.

"When my mom would take me here we would have coffee and a danish or a scone and talk about what my mom thought I should do with my future."

"Amy was totally in awe of what we had as a mother and daughter and she tried to get that with her daughter Chris."

"One day after Amy pushing just a little too hard to connect with Chris, things were said and she was mad at Amy and then she took off running out of the store. It was raining that afternoon and when Chris had hit the sidewalk she had so much momentum that she slid off the sidewalk and fell into the street. There was a police chase heading straight down Fort Washington Avenue. The 33rd precinct cops were in pursuit of a triple murderer, his car never stopped as it ran over Chris."

"Amy was devastated and still to this day blames herself for what happened to Chris."

"Kate did she know it was not her fault?"

"Alexis, you need to know that Amy would never deliberately place blame on anyone else but herself, she is just that type of person."

With that last comment a waitress delivers their order.

"Alexis I need to know what you were thinking when you told the doctor that me and your dad were actually engaged? When he has never really asked me to be his wife?"

"Well Kate I did it for two reasons, the first being that if I did not tell the doctor that you were engaged to dad you wouldn't have had any rights to hear what he was going to tell us. This would be unacceptable we are in this together...right?" Kate reluctantly nods.

"The second reason is that I am selfish."

"Alexis what are earth are you talking about?"

"Kate I want you as my step mother. You might think that this a selfish thought, but you have been more of a mother to me than my biological mother has ever been and even though I am 18, I feel more of a connection to you than my real mom."

Kate is speechless. A talk with Alexis is going to be the order of the day when they get back to the loft later. She never knew Alexis had ever felt this way. There was never an indication of what she wanted before, so she wonders why the change.

Finishing their coffee and food they look to Amy, who says to them "Kate and Alexis you are welcome back anytime, and Kate by the way please don't stay away for so long next time okay?"

Kate looks to her and tells her "Amy I will try to be here on a regular basis okay."

With that done they head out and make their way back to Columbia. Hoping that they can get Castle home.

Walking into the ER they check in with the trauma nurse they had met earlier and ask about Castles condition. The nurse is happy to say that since they have been away he has regained conscious, and he has been asking for them...


	10. Chapter 10

Alexis and Kate looked at each other not knowing if they should run or walk to his room. Asking the floor nurse what room he was moved to, they turned away and walked very quickly towards his room and then almost to his door they were just about skipping. It was almost comedic they both tried to walk through the entry door at the same time. They were for a second, stuck together between themselves and the door jamb. Castle was on his back lying in bed watching the whole episode unfold right in front of him. He was laughing uncontrollably. They both looked up at him and smiled at each other and they too started to laugh at the scene they had caused.

"Well at least you have not lost your sense of humor dad" Alexis remarked.

"No pumpkin it's still there but that was a sight to see."

The nurse who was recording his vitals on the chart also had a very small smile on her face. "Mr. Castle, it looks like all your levels are rising very nicely, but with the exception of your calcium." "It still is a little on the low side, but after that rises I see no reason to keep you here any longer than necessary." "The doctor will be in in a little bit to go over your test results."

"Thank you" The nurse leaves the room and starts to giggle.

Kate and Alexis walk over to each side of his bed and each of them grab a hand.

Kate says "Rick we have some promising news."

"Yeah dad there is something we need to tell you about your treatment."

"Oh really?"

Kate continues "Yes Rick we have some news that might help with your leukemia."

"We found out that the drug company we told you about might possibly have a drug trial the you could be eligible for."

Just as Kate finishes her sentence Dr. Wallace enters the room.

"Good afternoon Miss Beckett, Miss Castle, and Mr. Castle, I have some great news on 2 fronts." "First front your calcium levels have risen to the point that we no longer intend to keep you here."

"Second I overheard you talking about a drug trial that you were trying to get into, is that correct?"

They all said yes at the same time.

"Well I have a some great news for you, after you were admitted I told your dad that I needed to run another battery of tests for your initial diagnosis for your leukemia."

"The results of the additional tests that I requested have painted a brighter picture for your treatment regarding your leukemia." "There seems to be a way that we can get you into that trial quickly due to the results of your tests."

"It seems that you are an excellent candidate to be a guinea pig of sorts. I had no idea that the both of you women had talked to my colleague Ms. Jo Ann Bardin."

"While we have worked together in the past trying to find a cure for some of these heartbreaking diseases, your case presents a unique dynamic."

"Since you are nearing stage two of this disease we are most likely going to forgo the initial testing because it was done here today. I don't see a reason that you should not be denied these trial drugs, so after you are discharged you will need to go over to the outpatient clinic here in the hospital and meet with the team who will admit you into the trial."

Kate and Alexis look at each other and can't believe the news that they just heard. They are quiet until Alexis makes this statement to the doctor "Dr. Wallace, can you tell us why Jo Ann lied to us?"

"Wait what do you mean, what are you talking about...I just spoke to her about your father's case about a half an hour ago. She seemed to be happy that we had a willing candidate for this trial."

"Last night Kate was on the phone with the drug company for just under 7 hours, and at first we were getting the run around from every department there. When we finally got a hold of someone who knew something Jo Ann told us that the trial for this drug was weeks maybe months away."

Raising his hand to quiet them he explains "Kate, Alexis while I am aware that the both of you have done extensive research for this drug trial you need to understand Jo Ann was telling you the truth."

"There are corporate spies that are also trying to get their own drugs approved for trials also and, well you always need to be careful. They will do anything to gain information from a rival company so I can see her reluctance in giving you all the information you requested. I know that this might sound a bit callous but this company that is producing the drug has been on high alert that there might be companies that might send their own people in to get these secrets from them."

"So while you were not really lied to, you were not told the whole truth either."

"We are going to do everything in our power to see that your dad gets the treatment to beat this disease."

Kate looks over to Rick and Alexis and a tear slides down her cheek. Before long Alexis is doing the exact same thing. Rick is not going to give in but by the way he is looking at them both he can't stop from joining in with them. Dr. Wallace leaves the room and the girls drop Castles hands and join him on the hospital bed he raises his arms and then pulls them both in for a long strong hug.

Processing Rick out of the hospital was a breeze. They made short work of all the paperwork and before long he was in a wheelchair being rolled down to the outpatient wing of the hospital.

"I am well enough to walk, so let me!" All they were hearing was that he was that he was not paralyzed and he should not be wheeled around like he was. Kate was laughing on the inside she thought that while he thought he was in control he actually wasn't. She was loving this.

"Rick, there are procedures that the hospital needs to follow. Transporting you in the wheelchair is one of them, so don't bitch about it."

Rick slumps down in the chair and agrees with her "Okay."

Arriving at the outpatient department they checked in with the trial coordinator and then they sat down at the end of the line of chairs to wait. Castle had been relieved of his wheelchair and was sitting next Kate and Alexis. Holding each of their hands he had a thought that he needed to get out of his head.

"Kate, Alexis I need to say something and I am not too sure how to start so please give me the time to get this out."

Kate looks to him and sees his eyes start to glaze over "Rick what is it?"

"Yeah dad what has you so worried?"

"While I am confident we will be able to get into this trial, what if it won't help my case? I really don't want to get your hopes up and be right in the same boat 3 months later."

Kate looks to Rick and sees the worry written all over his face taking his hand in hers tighter she is amazed that this man can be so concerned about how other people he cares about feel.

"Rick there is a great chance that you will get into this trial. The doctors that want to admit you and they think that your chances are excellent for beating this."

Alexis adds "Dad you can not be negative with whatever happens now, this is not the father I know and love. He would look at beating this thing head on and never look back so I don't want to hear any doubts that you might be thinking about."

Rick looks at the both of them and nods his head. He can do this with the support of the girls he loves so dearly. Finishing his thought a voice calls out his name.

"Mr. Castle?"

"I'm right here, but please call me Rick."

"Hello Rick my name is Dr. Sarah Cho, and I will be getting you started on this trial for your leukemia. The path that you will be taking will be a long and tough one to follow. Are you ready?"

Rick asks her "What do you mean Dr. Cho?"

"Rick please call me Sarah alright?"

"Alright, so Sarah what did you mean by that last statement?"

"Rick not to be disrespectful but I really don't feel comfortable speaking about your treatment in front of people I don't know."

"Oh I am so sorry, please forgive me where are my manners. This amazing girl sitting to my right is my daughter Alexis. And this strikingly beautiful woman to my left is Detective Kate Beckett."

Kate blushes just a little and offers her hand to Dr. Cho for a handshake. She extends her own hand and gives Kate a quick handshake.

"Rick can I ask why you have an NYPD Detective protecting you, are you that famous to warrant such a high-security detail?"

Rick laughs at that thought and was just about to explain when Alexis told her what was going on. "You see Dr. Cho Kate here is not my dad's protective detail. He shadows her for research for his books. But now I think that it has progressed a lot further than that." Now it's Ricks turn to blush but he turns to Alexis and gives her a look that says " _we will talk about this later and you will tell me what's going on."_

"So Rick, what I need to tell you will be a lot to absorb in short order. First you will need to be here Monday, Wednesday, and Friday without fail! Then you will need to alternate every other Saturday and Sunday. You will be fitted with an injection port somewhere around your stomach this will eliminate the need for direct injections. The port will need to be cleaned every day to prevent any type of infection. With the port installed you come in get your dose of this drug and then you are a free man. We find that the use of the port is quicker for getting the drugs into your system and it involves less pain for you."

"While this drug is still in its infancy we are not too sure of all the reactions it has on human test subjects. Since you are one of ten people participating in this trial we will need to monitor the effect this drug has on you very closely. This drug will affect you and everyone in your group differently. While there are very minor risks by participating in this trail. You need to know if there is anything that feels out of the ordinary please do not hesitate to contact me here at the clinic. Every time you receive a dose of meds you will be asked to complete a small survey dealing with your health and emotional status."

Rick looks confused but he looks over to Kate and he sees that she has her I-phone out and she had been recording the whole conversation. He smiles at her and she flashes a small smile back to him. Alexis is just staring at Dr. Cho not grasping the whole concept. But after a while she starts to understand.

"Remember Rick if there is anything that you are unsure of while you are in this trial, please don't think twice about getting in touch with me, I'm serious."

Rick looks her right in the face and says, "You have my word, Sarah."

Feeling better then when they had arrived this morning they were upbeat but very very exhausted.

"Dr. Cho are we ready to go, I mean is there anything else that you need to tell us?"

"No Kate we are just about finished here, but there is one last thing I need to give Rick."

Reaching into her lab coat she pulls out a yellow outpatient wristband and secures it to his left wrist. "Rick whenever you arrive to get your dose of this medication it is imperative that your ID bracelet is scanned before receiving the dose."

Rick nods and then she tells them that they are all finished. Rising up off the seats they all gather their things and head out of the hospital. Each having their own separate thoughts, but all hoping for one pleasant outcome. Walking out through the front sliding glass doors the crisp fall air is refreshing. Walking on the sidewalk it is Alexis who speaks first drawing Kate and Rick out of their thoughts.

"Since we are close why don't we walk the rest of the way home?"

Kate thinks for a second and asks "Why don't we stop for something to eat along the way? There is a great little Italian place not too far from here."

Rick adds "And they have a great dessert cart!"

"So it's settled dinner out and then maybe a movie night?"

Both of his girls agree. They walk slowly to the restaurant and enter. Asking the hostess for a table for 3 she leads them to a cozy table where they can sit and reflect on the day they just had. Ordering their meals they are all in a haze after the day they have had.

"Rick are you going to be able to deal with this trial?"

"Kate I am looking to be on this earth hopefully for a long, long time, so there is nothing that will keep me from being there for this trial." He leans over and gently places a kiss on her sweet moist lips. She responds with a passionate kiss of her own.

Alexis jokes with them "Hey you two, could you get a room please?"

They both turned to look at her and were wearing a smile so large Alexis could not help but to laugh out loud. Cooling their teenage desires they eat the food that has arrived. Believing that Rick had only made up the dessert cart, she is amazed as she looks towards the kitchen and a waiter comes out pushing an actual cart with all kinds of cakes and pies adorning it. They all look too good to even eat. Kate looks at Rick and his eyebrows and wiggling up and down in anticipation. As the cart makes it to their table they each select something from it and enjoy. When they are finished Rick raises his hand to signal the waiter for the check. Paying the bill, he leaves a hefty tip for the great meal they have just had the pleasure of eating. Getting up to leave he asks "So is everyone ready to go home?"

Kate thinks for a second or two and tells Rick "Rick while I am happy with the way things have worked out today, I really can't impose on you and Alexis any more and and stay with you. I have my own place to go home to."

Rick wants her in his life now and forever and being that his mind is already made up he will not take no for an answer. Alexis frowns at her last comment and she can see the conflict in her dad's eyes. Thinking very carefully he forms his response.

"Kate if it was not for you and Alexis the outcome of my disease would have been so much different. And I fear it would be all for the worst. You have saved me in so many more ways a person can be saved. I need you in my life and I will do anything to show that we are more than partners. I am serious about you moving in with me so much I can't imagine my life without you by my side, but if you need some time to think about what I am asking of you then that's fine too, just try not to keep me and Alexis waiting that long."


	11. Chapter 11

The trial was going well. Rick was feeling better and stronger every day since he started receiving the trial drug. It had been six weeks since the trial had started and with the exception of the health survey he needed to give every time he got his dose of the drug he was happy with the way it going. There were some nights where he could not sleep and after going to bed or he would sleep lightly and any little noise would wake him. There were times he would just lie awake in bed looking at the smoking hot detective lying next to him.

It was a feeling that made him fall in love with her all over again. She took only one day to make him so happy. She agreed to move in with him the next day. She did however have one small request though. She wanted to retain the lease on her place. He wanted to question her decision but he decided to let it lie for now. It was the first weekend that he was in the trial and he had arranged to have all of her stuff moved to the loft by the following day. Most of her belongings, her every day things were brought over first. Then came the decision to sort out what big items she wanted to put into storage. After looking at her almost barren apartment she decided to donate her things to a thrift store rather then store them.

The thrift store had sent a box van to retrieve her furniture. With everything done and moved to the loft, Kate and Rick stand in a now empty apartment. Rick has a question for her but is unsure how to ask her. So in his head he collects together what he needs to ask and does so.

"Kate I need to ask you a question."

"Okay go ahead, you know you can ask me anything."

"Right then, Kate do you love me?"

"Rick, where is this coming from?"

"The reason I am asking is I am curious as to why you are keeping your lease on the apartment? Do you think that we won't make it? I know that my love for you reaches so many levels. I mean it's just that we have been through so much together I can't see the reason you have in keeping this place. Does it have a sentimental value for you? If that's the reason I totally understand."

He waits for all of what he said sink in. She has a look on her face that he can't describe and it's worrying him now. She looks at him and tears have freshly fallen down her cheeks.

"Kate I did not mean to upset you in any way. Hey, I'm sorry. You know what...forget I even asked."

She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing leaves her mouth. Thinking about what she needs to say now, she is the one collecting her thoughts. Rick waits patiently for her to say something. She starts...

"Rick first and forever I will love you until the day I die. Maybe it was foolish to keep this lease but you see I never thought that I would be with a man that would love me the way you do and provide me with everything I needed. This was my first place one that I could call my own, my own fortress of solitude."

Rick lets out a little laugh after she used the fortress comment referring to Superman.

"So while yes it does have sentimental value to me I just thought keeping it would keep me grounded."

"Kate, I never knew and I am sorry if I over stepped."

"Rick it's okay, I might have been a little possessive of this place anyway."

"So I will leave it up to you if you still want to keep your place or if you would terminate the lease here. The decision is yours."

She walks over to him reaches her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a gentle kiss. Feeling the need for oxygen they break apart and she looks up at him with a compassionate look in her eyes and tells him...

"Yes"

"Yes, what?" He asks.

"Yes Rick, I will terminate the lease when it comes up for renewal. While this was my first place and it means a lot to me, I'm starting a new chapter in my life with you. So I want to show you that I'm all in with what we are starting together now."

He is overjoyed and pulls her in for the tightest hug he can give her. She hugs him right back. She is just as happy as he is. Releasing each other, they turn and look around her apartment one last time. Standing there for a minute or two she takes hold of his hand gives him a small tug and they leave her place forever.

He is having another sleepless night. He thinks that maybe the drug could be causing these symptoms. He has not told the trial doctors or even Kate for that matter she has enough to worry about. Looking over at Kate he sees that she is fast asleep. Admiring her form lying next to him he is the luckiest man on the earth. He looks over to the red L.E.D. display on the alarm clock. He can't believe it's only 2:34 in the morning. Gingerly he leaves the bed trying hard not to wake up Kate. He heads to his office and sits down at his laptop. Moving the mouse to awake the machine his screen saver materializes. He smiles at what he sees in front of him. It's a picture of him and Kate trying to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. Well, she was the one actually ice skating he was sitting on his ass on the ice. He decides to do something that he has been putting off for a long time, basically ever since he got the news about his condition.

He opens a new word doc and sets up just the outline of what he will eventually send to his attorney for a legal filing. He starts out with what he has on hand. Then he moves onto what he has in savings and stock options. Then finally finishes with his real estate holdings and any future royalties that any of his projects could generate. His first beneficiary is Kate. His second is his daughter. They will with the guidance of his financial advisers each receive half of his wealth. He is lost in his thoughts and when he finally comes out of his haze four hours have passed. His lower extremities are now numb. Slowly he rises from the leather chair happy with the outcome of his will. Who thought that writing a will would take 4 hours? Carefully walking out of his office he looks in on Kate, still in the bed. She is sound asleep.

Heading over to the kitchen he removes everything he needs to make breakfast. Kate will be up soon and would appreciate a good home cooked breakfast before she heads into the precinct. He makes bacon and eggs, white and rye toast and coffee and freshly squeezed OJ. Alexis is the first to rise.

"Dad, what's this? How long have you been up?"

"Good morning Alexis, I could not sleep very well last night and since I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day I decided to make it for everyone." Hoping she won't question his sleeping habits or lack thereof.

She is happy to see him back to where he was...almost. She thinks that he now has a better outlook about his life because he is in the trial, but there is something missing still. She can't quite put her finger on it but there but there are times when he seems distant to her. She drifts from her thoughts when she hears Kate talking...

"Good morning everyone."

"Hi Kate" Alexis says.

"Good morning babe."

"Rick whats going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I woke up earlier to go to the bathroom around 4 am I found you in your office just staring at the ceiling. At first I thought you were asleep in the chair, but then as I stood there a little longer you had a little smile on your face and let out a giggle from time to time." "Babe whats wrong?"

"Kate it's nothing really."

"It's not nothing when you have a hot NYPD detective right next to you in your bed and yet you choose to sit in your office and leave me all alone."

"Kate it's not like that, I need to tell you something, but I'd like to tell you later in private okay?"

Alexis raises an eyebrow at that last comment. She wonders if she was right about him being distant. Deciding to let it go for now she asks if he needs any help with breakfast. They sit there all silent eating their breakfast. Alexis is almost finished when she looks over to Kate and sees her playing with her eggs.

"Kate is everything alright?"

Putting his fork down Rick looks over to Kate as well.

"Kate whats wrong?"

Looking at her eggs and bacon she has a feeling like she is coming down with the flu. She feels her stomach doing somersaults. She hopes that she can make it through the rest of the meal but that seems highly unlikely. Looking at the both of them she can't stop what is about to happen. She places her hand over her mouth and gets up with such urgency she almost falls over the chair. Racing to to closest bathroom she can find she barely makes it to the toilet. Kneeling if front of it she empties the contents of her stomach. Rick and Alexis are close behind and try to comfort her. Alexis grabs a hand towel and moistens it, then places it on her forehead.

"Thanks, Alexis that feels good."

"Kate, are you okay?"

"Rick I am not sure whats going on, I was fine when I woke up this morning but now it hit me all of a sudden, without warning."

"Should we take you to the hospital?"

"Really Rick for the flu?"

"Well I just want to make sure that you are okay and if that means taking the woman who I love with all my heart to get her checked out then that's how it's going to be."

"Seriously Rick, I am fine. Just help me get to my feet and then I can see how I feel alright?"

"Deal."

Alexis and Rick pick her up off the floor. She wipes her face with the cold compress Alexis had given her. She feels a little better and tells them that she is fine. Walking out of the bathroom she makes her way to their bedroom and starts her process of getting ready for work. Alexis looks to her dad and asks "Dad do you think she is okay?"

"I think that the stress of everything we have been going through is finally starting to get to her as well as you too. You both have done so much for me and I don't think either of you realize how hard you have worked, this takes a toll on your spirit and body. You get run down and skip a meal here and there and it adds up."

"Are you going to bring her to the clinic?"

"For now no. I am not going to push her. I will give her the space she needs and if she comes to me then we will talk about it."

Kate walks out of the bedroom dressed to kill. Her face has color to it again and she looks great. Looking at the both of them looking at her she says "What?"

"Oh, I don't know I think I'm looking at an angel."

"Come on Rick get serious."

"Kate I am serious, there is a glow about you that I have never noticed before."

"Yeah, Kate are you using a different type of makeup?"

"Alexis you too, what's wrong with the two of you?"

Rick leaves the bathroom and walks up to Kate and takes hold of her arm. Leading her to the full lengthen mirror in their bedroom and he stands her right in front of it.

"Look at yourself and tell me what you see there."

"Rick I see myself there."

"But Babe, I mean really look at yourself don't you see it?"

"Rick, I think those drugs are making you a little nuts, what the hell are you talking about?"

She humors the two of them again and looks hard at the mirror. The only thing that she really notices is that she might have put on a pound or two and that she now has a couple more worry lines on her face, but that's about it.

"Well, do you see it?"

"Rick I know that you love me and you think I have a glow about me, but babe I'm just not seeing anything that's different with me."

Leaving the bedroom, she goes to the safe and retrieves her gun and shield. Clipping them to her waist she moves over to the coat rack and grabs her blazer. On the way out to the door, Martha passes her and makes the following comment

"Kathryn my dear you look so amazing what have you done?"

"Martha, what do you mean...my outfit, is there something wrong with it?"

"No dear I mean the glow about you. Tell me that you have noticed it too?"

Alexis and Rick watched the whole interaction between the two of them and they look at each other.

"Dad whats going on here?"

"Alexis, I will talk to Kate later and then I will find out okay?" He answers her in a whisper not wanting Kate to hear him.

"Sure dad but I am running really late for school so I need to double time it."

"Okay, Pumpkin."

It was Wednesday and Rick had a standing appointment at the clinic at 10 am. It was a little after eight so he had some time to get ready. Hitting the shower, he could not believe that Kate could not see what everyone else did about her appearance. She did think that they were nuts, but how could she not see it.

When he got out of the shower Rick was alone. His mother was at a friends house probably talking about Broadway by now, Alexis had classes all day and Kate was at the 12th. He thought about calling her at work but thought better of it because she had just left an hour ago. So he decided to send her a quick text. Pulling up her contact information he typed out a quick message:

 _Hi Babe, I am already missing you. I am heading over to the clinic for my treatment. Would you want to meet at Remy's for a quick burger?_

He places his phone on the island counter and gets his coat out of the closet. He returns to his phone and sees a new text has arrived from Kate.

 _I am missing you too! :) Hope your treatment goes well. As for lunch, that will be hard because I am in the middle of a double murder and it looks like it will be a long day. I will call later to see how your treatment went._

If he knows one thing about her, he knows she will not eat at all today. She simply forgets until she is so run down that she gets some non nutritional junk food from the vending machines. Slipping his phone into his pocket he puts on his coat and heads out to the clinic. It is a calm day outside so he decides to walk the 12 blocks to the clinic. Arriving there he checks in with the coordinator and she hands him his survey. Sitting down with the survey and a pen he contemplates weather or not he should tell them about his lack of sleep. Remembering what Dr. Cho told him before he entered the trial he starts to write.

Handing his survey to the coordinator she tells him to go to treatment room 2. He walks over to the room sits and waits. About 5 minutes later Dr. Cho walks into the treatment room. He is a little surprised to see her in front of him, he has only dealt with her two other times during the trial. Usually he meets with a nurse she gives him his injection and that's it. Rick looks at the survey in her hand and his shoulders drop, he is not wanting to talk about his lack of sleep with her. She takes a seat opposite him and starts telling him about his progress.

"Hello Rick, how are you feeling after six weeks on the trial?"

"I am doing well, I feel stronger every day."

He is happy that she uses his first name. She goes on to tell him that he will need to have a blood test by week 8 to find out the progress of the drugs effectiveness. He nods in understanding. While she is almost finished he thinks that she is not going to talk to him about his sleep habits.

"So Rick I understand that you are having trouble sleeping?"

 _Damn, I thought I was home free._

"Well Dr. Cho, there are nights when I go to bed and then I fall asleep lightly and the slightest movement or noise wakes me. Then there are nights when I get into bed and just lie there staring at the ceiling not sleeping at all."

"I need to ask you what you meant by the slightest movement?"

Not sure he should tell her that Kate now shares his bed with him he decides to tell her that his relationship status has changed.

"Dr. Cho, do you remember the detective who was with me the last time we were here?

"Yes, why?"

"Well, there have been recent changes in our relationship. Right before I started the trial I asked her to move in with me, and sometimes when she moves closer to me for comfort during the night she startles me awake. She doesn't know that shes doing it and I have never told her that it's happening. I just don't want her to think that this is her fault."

"Well Rick the only person it seems to be affecting is you, I mean are you able to make it through the day without any sleep?"

"Believe it or not I can, but there are times during the day that I need to take a power nap to recharge and then I am fine."

"Okay keep trying to get some sound sleep, and if you are not able to I can prescribe a mild sedative for you so you can sleep. I'd like to see you when you return on Friday for your next dose so we can continue this conversation.

Pleased with the way today's visit went he thinks now that it was foolish for him to hide the fact that he was not sleeping well. Getting up to leave he now needs to tell Kate what the doctor thinks...


	12. Chapter 12

Her day was long and she knew that she would catch the wrath of Castle when she walked through the door of the loft after she got home tonight. She had skipped lunch and even though he offered to pick her up a burger and a shake (chocolate, of course) from Remy's but she still let her hunger get away from her. Getting off the elevator, she made her way to the front door of the loft. Listening for anyone on the other side, she heard nothing and thought she was going to get away undetected, that was until the inevitable happened.

But, before she could even put her key into the lock, the door swung open. Standing there looking at her was Rick. She sheepishly looked at her feet while her hand still held the key right at the level of the lock, and he said, "It looks to me like someone is starving."

 _"How does he do that? He knows me better than I know myself."_

"Hey Rick, No, I am not that hungry, but I could eat why, did you make something for tonight?"

"Maybe |I did and maybe I didn't, but then you will just need to wait and see." He knew that she was not telling him that she was starving because he guessed that she was. So he kept what he was doing to himself.

Walking past him he moves to one side and then she smells it, her stomach is grumbling. As she turns back to look at him all she sees is a grin on his face from ear to ear.

"Babe, come on and sit down and let's eat. It is only us tonight so let's get to it and YES I know that you skipped lunch."

She can't quite place what he made, but it definitely smelled delicious. Quickly changing out of her pants and blouse, she decides to go the casual route. Eying a pair his boxers and finding a tank top she changes into them. He is smiling when she steps in front of him

"Winding down are we?"

"Yeah I had a very tough day, nothing panned out the way I had hoped it would."

She takes a seat at the table and he moves past her heading back into the kitchen and pulls out a basic garden salad from the fridge. Tossing it, he places some of it into two salad bowls and takes a variety of salad dressings from the fridge. Sitting right next to her they start to eat. She is famished and devours the salad in no time flat. He can only wonder why she forgets to eat. Asking her if she is ready for the next course she nods yes and he rises and clears their salad bowls. A thought enters her mind and she decides to run with it.

"Rick, How did you know that I skipped lunch this afternoon?"

"Kate a good spy never reveals his or her resources"

Kate thinks back to her day and realizes that...

" _It can only be two people. Espo or Ryan. I will grill the both of them in the morning!"_

Placing the bowls in the sink, he heads over to the oven where on the bottom shelf he has a large Pyrex dish filled with meat lasagna cooking away. Grabbing the oven mitts he cautiously takes out the tray. Cutting and placing the lasagna on plates he takes both plates and walks back over to the table. She looks at what he made and is amazed that he takes such good care of her. They eat everything and when they are done he says "So are you ready for the last course?"

She looks over wondering what he has up his sleeve "Rick what did you make now?"

"Well Kate I actually did not make this, I'm not that good I had it delivered to the loft."

Walking back to the fridge he pulls out a NY style cheesecake, direct from the Arthur Ave. bake shop on 209th street in the Bronx.

Cutting two slices he moves over to the stove where he has a strawberry sauce simmering. Coating the slices with the sauce, he returns to the table where she is waiting patiently. Just before he gets to the table he tells her to close her eyes. Doing so, she waits for him to tell her to open her eyes. He places the dessert down in front of her and he waits...

"Rick what's wrong?"

"Kate just use your sense of smell and tell me if you can guess what this is."

She is a little displeased with this game he is making her play. But all things considered, she plays along anyway.

"Well, it smells like some type of berry."

"Go on."

"Strawberry." She guesses.

"Okay, now what."

"Rick I am at a loss, come on let me open my eyes, please."

Rick gives in because he can't watch her become so frustrated.

"Okay go ahead."

She does and then her eyes go wide. "I can't believe it, you had a cheesecake delivered here for me?"

"Yes, I did."

"How did you know it was my favorite dessert?"

"Oh, it was just a lucky guess."

They both start to eat very slowly savoring each bite. When the last bite is consumed he gets up to clear the dishes and clean up the mess from all his dinner preparations. He tells her to go and relax seeing that she has had a tough day while he cleans up.

She walks over to the loveseat and sits down loving the comfort of the chair. She rests her head on the back of the seat and closes her eyes. Before long she is sound asleep. This is how Rick finds her when he is done cleaning up. Walking over to her he looks at her lovingly and thanks the heavens that he is hers.

Kate never wakes up when Rick lifts her off the love seat. He carries her bridal style back to their bedroom and he gently places her under the comforter. He notices that she forgot to secure her shield and weapon if his safe and he does it for her. Washing up before he gets ready to go to sleep he thinks back to this morning when he noticed the glow about her and the feeling like she had the flu. Making a mental note to ask her about it in the morning he slips into bed along side of her and falls asleep.

It's 6:30 the next morning and Kate lies in bed after turning off the alarm...again. She reaches over to his side of the bed and that's when she notices that his side is cold and he has long since gone from their bed. Wondering where he had gone, she gets her things ready for her shower. As it was just like yesterday she starts to get that queasy feeling in her stomach. Holding her midsection with one hand, she covers her mouth with the other. She does not think she can make it to the bathroom in time. But somehow by the grace of god she does.

Rick is in his office because he was hit with an inspirational moment and has been writing for last 3 hours straight. He hears something coming from upstairs and stops typing so he can hear better. What he hears scares him a little bit. Jumping from his desk chair he races to the bathroom where he finds Kate hovering over the toilet bowl again. He slowly rubs her back trying to get her to calm down a little bit and while she is not quite finished he decides to get another cold compress for her.

"Here Kate use this it will make you feel a little better."

"Rick, what's wrong with me? I have never had this type of flu before, well I have had the flu but not one that gets me this sick every day."

Kate is just about finished getting sick and Rick helps her up to her feet again. He tries to think back to where she might have picked up this bug she has. The only thing he can come up is about a week and a half ago Ryan was coughing and at the same time sneezed directly into Kate's coffee. She finished it with no concerns.

Kate was sitting at her desk and could not for the life of her figure out where she had contracted this flu bug. Thinking back to about 7 weeks ago she came up with nothing. Just as she was thinking there was a visitor that needed to see her about information she had for a murder case she and the boys were working on. The visitor called out her name and Kate waved her over.

Walking through the bullpen, she noticed that she was pushing a baby stroller. Just as she was about to arrive at Kate's desk the baby let out a small cry and then Kate went into a trans-like state. It all fit together now. She had to leave and she needed Javi to interview the witness.

"Espo, I need you to do me a favor." She called out to him.

"What's up Beckett?"

"I need you to interview this witness for me. I need to be 10-61 for about an hour."

Javi walks over to her desk and asks the witness to take a seat in the common room where they can talk in peace. Kate puts on her coat and walks over to the detectives assignment board and moves her status to unavailable. Walking out of the precinct, she heads to the corner CVS. Walking down the planned parenthood aisle, she sees what she needs and reads the instructions on the back of the EPT pregnancy test. She's happy that it contains 2 tests and they are the digital type test. Walking up to the register she pays for the test and walks back the station.

Dreading what she needs to do next, she enters the ladies room on the second floor so nobody from her floor will see her. There was no way in hell she would go up to her floor. Entering the stall she gets the test ready and pees on the first stick. Now comes the hard part...the waiting. She sits on the toilet and thinks back to when this could have happened, she thought that they were so very careful when they made love but then she remembers that there was one time when she just wanted him so badly and they were in a rush, he was driving her wild and she could not wait to have him inside of her. She remembers how good it felt when they were together and this is...

Her alarm on her watch is beeping. It draws her out of her thoughts and now that the three minutes are up she can't bear to look at the results. Her hand is shaking so badly that she can't even read the sign in the small window on the test. Grabbing her right hand that's shaking so badly with her left, she finally holds her hand steady. She looks down at the result and her eyes widen like saucers. God she was going to be a mom. Automatically her first thought was

" _This can't be right, what am I going to do? Rick will be so upset with me! I need to think about my next move."_

Thinking quickly she removes the second test from the box. Repeating the same procedure she waits….again for the required three minutes. Then the time was up and as she looked down at the test she came to the same conclusion as before, _I'm going to have a baby._

Throwing away the used tests she leaves the bathroom heads back up to the 4th floor. She's like a zombie. People are talking all around her and yet she hears nothing. Ryan asks her about information on a cold case and she never hears him ask the question. Javi walks over to where she is standing and asks her if everything is okay.

She looks at him blankly and at first he thinks that something has happened to Castle. Touching her arm lightly, he re-asks the same question.

"Kate, are you okay?"

"Javi, Listen I'm going to need some time off. Can you clear it with Captain Montgomery?"

Looking at her puzzled he agrees and then she readies herself to leave.

Deciding to get some exercise she walks back to the loft. This way she will have time to figure how to tell Rick that she is going to have his baby and what he wants to do about it. Walking past a baby clothing store she stops and looks through the window and imagines how their baby will look dressed in some of the outfits displayed. Lingering there for about two minutes before she hears her name being called from behind her.

Alexis' class were done for the day and deciding to take a cab back to the loft instead of using the subway she notices a woman who looks a lot like Kate looking into a baby clothes store. The first thing she thinks of is that Kate is on her lunch hour picking up a gift for a friend until she sees her face. She quickly asks the driver to pull over and let her out. She pays him and then she gets out walking closer to Kate. She calls her name and Kate just keeps looking into the display window. Alexis calls her once more...turning, Kate sees Alexis looking at her surprised.

"Kate what's wrong?"

"What do you mean Alexis?"

"Well for one thing it's just before 1:30 in the afternoon and your not at work and then you are standing here on the sidewalk in front of a baby store with tears rolling down your face."

Kate instinctively reaches for her cheek and finds that Alexis was right. Now she was caught, she would need to tell her what was going on but then she thought " _Should I tell her before I tell Rick, or should I wait and tell them both?"_

Deciding that she should share her news with Alexis because she is so much more mature for her age, it makes her tough decision that much easier.

"Alexis there is something I need to tell you, but I am not to sure how to tell you."

"Kate you know that you and I have been through so much in the past 2 months, and there is nothing that you could tell me that would shock me."

Kate is very hesitant but continues on anyway. Thinking that a direct approach is best, she says, "Alexis you are going to be a big sister."

Alexis looks at Kate with a combination of surprise and shock. She was wrong. What she said did shock her! _"Did I just hear her correctly? Maybe she meant that...nah, she couldn't mean what I think she meant, could she?"_

"Alexis say something..., please! Wait, Lex are you ashamed of me?"

"Kate, are you saying what I think you are saying? Wait, why would you think that I'd ever be ashamed of you?"

"Alexis I have let you down. I have taken away what you and your dad have together between the two of you. There is now another person that will take his time away from you."

"Kate is that what you think! Did you actually think I'd be upset if you were to bring another person into this world and take time away from my dad and me?"

"Well, yeah Lex I did think that."

"Kate please don't think like that. I am going to love and share in this baby's life with you and dad and embrace him or her!"

"Well, in that case, then yes, I am going to have a baby."

"Alexis smiles from ear to ear. Does dad know or Grams?"

"No I just found out about an hour ago, Lex I am petrified and I am not too sure how to tell your dad, or even if I should."

"Kate what are you thinking, are you not sure that you want this baby?" In Alexis' mind, she had figured out why Kate was thinking along the lines she was thinking. And what she was thinking about being pregnant.

"Alexis me and your dad are not married, and I'm not exactly the mothering type as you could have guessed by what I do for a living."

"Kate all I know is that YOU have the right to choose life or not, but I need to tell you something. You need to tell dad because he has the right to know. He helped in making this life. Now, I hope you can see what I'm talking about, I think that you are way over thinking this. I think that you would make a great mom and with dad involved he will never, never, doubt your decision about having this baby. Kate, he loves you why do you think telling him would be a bad thing?"

Kate looks at Alexis again and shows a slight smile. Deciding that what she said makes sense they both turn and head towards the loft.

"Lex is your father home?"

"I think he is because today is Tuesday and his next visit to the clinic is not until tomorrow."

They walk in silence both thinking to themselves quietly. Arriving at the loft, Alexis squeezes Kate's hand in a show of support of her and Kate returns the gesture. They both walk into the loft. They look around and see that the loft is dark and empty. Walking over to the kitchen they find a hand written note clipped to the fridge.

 _Kate,_

 _I went to the market to pick up something for dinner._

 _It's a surprise so no trying to get it out of me, but you can try to guess all you want!_

 _Love Always, Rick._

Kate showed Alexis the note and thought to herself boy is he in for an even bigger surprise when he gets back!


	13. Chapter 13

After reading his note on the fridge, they had nothing but time on their hands. Looking at each other, they dreaded the time they were going need to wait before they could let Rick in on their news. Kate still had her reservations, though.

"Alexis are you sure about this, I mean really, really sure?" Kate asks anxiously.

"Kate believe me when I tell you, you have nothing to worry about. My dad's heart is big enough to love you, me, Grams, and the baby." Alexis reassures.

"Alexis, I am still not married to him do you think this is the right way to go about this?" Kate inquires.

"Kate look at me, I am serious when I tell you that this will change your relationship for the better." Alexis says.

Realizing that she is probably right, she gets up from the couch.

"Alexis, I am going to make a cup of tea would you want to join me?" Kate asks.

"Yes, that is a great idea Kate!" she replies.

They are talking at the kitchen island and their conversation moves to colleges. Kate knows that Alexis has been looking into colleges on both the East and West coasts.

"Alexis have you given any thought to any of the colleges that you have received brochures on?" Kate asks.

Alexis looks to Kate with a surprised look on her face.

"Kate, how did you know? I thought I did a good job at hiding all the brochures I got in the mail." Alexis confesses.

"Seriously Alexis, I am an NYPD detective. Nothing gets by me." Kate states.

"Are you going to tell my dad?" Alexis asks with trepidation.

Kate thinks for a second, just for effect.

"This will be our secret for now. When the time comes you will have the talk with your father...right?" Kate slyly confirms.

She nods to the affirmative. They both become very quiet when the door swings open revealing an overloaded Rick Castle.

"A little help is needed here!" He exclaims juggling the overfull bags in his arms.

They both look over to see that he has about 6 large paper bags encased in plastic D'agastino bags flowing from his arms, and plastic red ones hanging from his wrists. There is food in every one of them. Walking over to him they take some of the bags from his arms. It is Kate who speaks first.

"Rick, who exactly were you planning on feeding tonight?" Kate inquires with her eyebrow raised.

"Uhhh, I might have gone a little overboard." He confesses.

"I'll say" Alexis comments.

Gathering all the fresh produce and packaged items, they start the task of putting everything away. Alexis looks at Kate. It was one of urging Kate to tell him now. Kate looks back at her then confronts Rick.

"Babe, we need to talk" Kate sweetly says.

"Sure… Babe…?" Rick replies a bit confused on why now did Kate have to talk to him? He hadn't done anything wrong or he hoped he had not anyway. Unless she was beginning to get tired of him and she now realized it.

Rick was unsettled hearing those words 'we need to talk." It has always given him disappointing results when a woman starts off with a sentence like that. It was never good news. He slowly then cautiously walks over to the couch where she has now taken up residence. Kate looks at Alexis and sees that she is waving her hands furiously to move on with the news. Hesitantly, she presses forward.

"Rick, do you love children?" Kate asks out of the blue catching poor Rick off guard.

Rick was totally unprepared for this kind of a question. Usually, the talk starts off listing his numerous faults. This was a new tactic.

"Of course I do, I have Alexis why do you ask?" He tells her and then looks at her in an out of sort way.

"Kate what's wrong? Where is this coming from?"

Kate is frustrated that this was coming out all wrong. She was never the one who was great with words. He always was able to do this.

Alexis was rooting from the sidelines in the kitchen. Kate glances at her. Just as she thinks of forgetting this whole idea. She hears Alexis is humming quite loudly. The tune was for hush little baby. She gives her the look of death then she composes herself and tries again.

"Rick, what I mean is would you love someone who you don't know unconditionally?" Kate asks but fails once again to make her point.

Rick thoroughly confused answers.

"Why wouldn't I? Kate you are beginning to scare me. Tell me truthfully what's going on here? You know that you can tell me anything at all, and I'll never be mad, well maybe a little upset but I am the kind of man who forgives most everything after the dust has settled." Rick says compassionately.

"Well I think that you are going need to show that love in about 7 months." Kate mutters to herself.

Rick listens hard to catch the meaning. Kate was being very obtuse right now.

"Kate, what's going to happen in 7 months? Are you going to propose to me...I really would have liked…" Rick rambles.

"Rick, it is not that… I am pregnant I am going to have our son or daughter in about 7 months." Kate blurts out and then trembles awaiting Rick's response.

Alexis is smiling so brightly, but she sees her dad has not quite processed what Kate just said.

"Rick?" Kate asks in that little girl lost voice.

"Dad" Alexis commands quickly.

Rick looks at Alexis then back at Kate. Alexis is smiling. Kate is fearful. Finally, he makes the connection.

"We're going to have a baby!" Rick blurts out after finally processing all the attempts she made at trying to tell him.

Kate releases the breath she has been holding in since all this had started. Kate is relieved that he now understands. Alexis walks over then to sit next to them. She takes his hand and Kate takes the other.

"Dad, are you OK?" she asks.

"Alexis, pumpkin, I could not be better. Kate, when did you find out?" Rick asks brimming with excitement.

"Well, it hit me when I noticed a witness walking through the 12th earlier today pushing a baby carriage. I finally put two plus two together. With all that's going on with you and us I really did not think that much about it. So I went out and picked up a pregnancy test from the pharmacy and I was so nervous that I took it twice. It read the same result both times." Kate explains.

"This is great news!" Rick says elated that it was not the other kind of "let's talk" discussion.

"Rick, you're not upset?" Kate asks not believing her eyes, ears or her good fortune.

"Upset...Why would I be upset Kate? This is fantastic news! I can't wait until he or she is here. I am floored. Have you made an appointment to find out how far along you are?" Rick yammers on.

"No Rick I hadn't. Maybe we can do that together?" She shyly asks.

"Kate, I'd love to go with you to your first appointment." Rick says still elated about the news.

"Dad now that you are going to have another mouth to feed. How about feeding your two best girls right now?" Alexis asks with a grin.

"Oh my god Alexis, Kate…I am so sorry. I will get it started right now." Rick says getting up to rush to the kitchen still smiling.

As he runs to the kitchen to start the prep he is whispering under his breath

" _ _I'm going to be a daddy again. This is going to be so great!"__

Kate and Alexis both look at each other then smile.

Working feverishly around the kitchen, he is almost finished with dinner. He sets the table and serves the two women he cares most about in the world their evening meal. They eat in silence each having their own thoughts. Alexis loves the fact that she will now finally have a little brother or sister. Kate, although she had expected the worst now looks at Rick in a new light. This man who would make the best of any situation has now shown her that anything is possible. She now has no fears about their future.

With dinner done Alexis rises and clears the table of the dirty dishes.

Ten minutes later she tells them "I'm finished with the dishes. I'm going upstairs to study."

"Okay Pumpkin, study hard and do good." Rick yells after her retreating form.

Kate and Rick are now by themselves. Rick has a burning question.

"Kate, were you a bit reserved with your news about the baby right?" Rick solemnly asks.

Kate knows that he can read her like a book and gets very quiet. Thinking about her response she starts.

"Rick, I have seen you with Alexis and I know that you are a loving and caring father. You would do anything to protect her and provide for her or him. The reason I really did not want to tell you that I was pregnant was how you would take the news." She confesses.

"Kate, I would always listen to anything you wanted to tell me. Communication is the solution here not the problem. Without it we wither up and fail." Rick says being very understanding of the situation.

Kate looks at him. She needs to admit her earlier thoughts when she found out the news.

"Listen, Rick, what I am about to tell you now is what my thoughts were when I took the tests. I was on another level at that time. I had told Javi I needed to leave for the rest of the day. I just walked and walked. I notice all the babies being pushed down the sidewalk in their strollers. Then I saw toddlers walking hand in hand with their mothers and fathers. I found myself staring into the window of a baby store. I was seriously thinking about terminating this baby. It was then Alexis found me crying like a baby looking at all the clothes through the window. I could visualize our baby wearing these clothes and I wanted it, but only if you wanted it too." Kate expunges those thoughts.

"I know that this is a lot to take in Kate. You were probably in shock. Kate, why would you ever think about this especially when you know what I am going through? I would never think about terminating any life that we have created together. Every life is a gift. That gift should never be wasted. It is a gift for the whole world to see." Rick says.

Kate looks up to his face and notices that there are now tears streaming down his face. She gently reaches the palm of her hand to the side of his cheek and wipes away the tears he is now shedding with her thumb.

"Rick I am sorry, so very, very sorry but truth be told. It was Alexis who set me straight. She was the one that kept me grounded then made me see that telling you that it was the right thing to do." Kate accredited Alexis in turning around her thoughts.

"She is pretty amazing isn't she?" Rick says as a proud papa.

"Yes Rick, she is…You both are" Kate replies.

Little did the both of them know but Alexis was listening in on their whole conversation from her room. She may have told them that she needed to study, but she had only left the door open a crack to listen in to the conversation that they were having. She was also crying with tears of joy. She was glad that she had told her first. A chill ran up her spine because if they never met on the street who knows what would have happened.

Rick and Kate decided that it was a very long taxing day, even with all the good news. Sleep was what they both craved and with that they both retired to the bedroom. The second Kate laid down she was fast asleep. Rick, on the other hand, let his thoughts take over his mind. He was staring blankly at the ceiling fan as it rotated...once again.

" _ _Why would she think that I would not accept her news in a good way?__ _"_

That thought ran in his head over and over again. It was almost dawn and he had been thinking about this all night. Maybe Dr. Cho was right. His inability to sleep soundly could be a side effect of the trial drug he was taking. He would tell her about his problem when he went into the clinic for his next treatment later this morning.

Seeing that the sun was just about to crest the horizon, he got up and started his day. He would make breakfast and get his girls ready to face their day. He trudged down to the kitchen and started the prep everything for a healthy breakfast. Alexis was the first to get up.

"Good morning Dad." Alexis says with a smile.

"Hey pumpkin, how did you sleep?" He inquires.

Alexis could not resist the rib. How could she not, with him leaving the door all the way open and all.

"Dad, I slept like a baby!" She says then gave him a wink.

"Ha ha…Pumpkin, that's very funny, honey." Rick replies.

"Yeah I thought so, Dad. Come on it was kinda funny." She replies.

Kate reached her arm over to Rick's side but woke to an empty bed...once again. She got up and showered and dressed. She had to decide if telling the NYPD was a good thing to do. She knew that by her 5th or 6th month of her being pregnant she would be chained to a desk riding out the rest of her pregnancy. Her doing field work would be out of the question for her safety and the baby's. She was the best at her job, but the department would never take the liability of sending a mother to be up against the seedy criminals of this city.

Finished getting ready she made her way down to the kitchen where she found Rick and Alexis talking about the baby that was on its way.

"Good Morning you two" She greets them both.

"Hey Babe" Rick responds and gives her a quick kiss.

"Hi Kate" Alexis says covering her eyes for effect.

Kate recovers from the kiss then heads to retrieve the coffee. As she was pouring the mug full, she speaks.

"Rick, remember when we needed to communicate more?" She asks.

"Yeah, Kate…why…?" Rick asks wondering what new thing she was going to be unleashed on him now.

"Well, I am thinking that we should not tell the department of our pending bundle of joy, well not right away." Kate states.

"Why Kate…Do you think that's the smartest way to go?" He asks a bit confused.

"Well, I am sure that I will have no problem in doing my job until I start to show. After that, I am not sure that they will let me stay in a field position. They will keep me at a desk from that point forward in my pregnancy." Kate points out.

"Kate, do you think that this is such a good idea?" Alexis adds being very alarmed that Kate has not thought this through.

"Alexis, this job is my life. I am going to be lost after they pull me from the investigating aspect. I need this to take away the stress of being in my condition. I see your concern. I will be the first to back away from any dangerous situation." Kate says.

Rick knows that this is true. She would never put anyone at risk, even their unborn baby.

"Kate I am happy that we are talking about this. I trust you and I am comfortable with any decision you reach." Rick caves to her demands.

"Well, guys I'd love to stay and talk. I have a class in 40 minutes." Alexis notices the time.

"Bye pumpkin" Rick responds with a kiss upon her head.

"Bye Alexis." Kate adds a hug. "Thank you for everything"

Alexis smiles then departs. Kate notices the time too.

I've got to get out of here too Babe…Wish me luck." Kate says as she leaves him with a kiss.

She gets in her cruiser and during the drive her thoughts move now to the fact that she needs to inform her captain that she will be having a baby. She arrives at the 12th then gets on the elevator for the short ride to the 4th floor. She deposits her coat and bag onto the back of her chair. Receiving looks from both Espo and Ryan she walks slowly over to Captain Montgomery's office door.


	14. Chapter 14

Castle watched each of his girls leave the loft. After they left he had a very full day ahead of him. Cleaning up the remnants from breakfast he thought again if he should tell Dr. Cho about his sleepless nights. He pushed this thought aside because if he was ever going to make his standing appointment he had to get everything cleaned up here first. He shaves away his early morning shadow as he showers. Getting back to his closet he selects a baby blue button down shirt along with a pair of gray dress pants. Finally dressed he departs the loft.

He arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes before his appointment. He checked in then filled out the mandatory questionnaire. Handing it back to the clerk he turned back to enter the waiting room. Sitting down his thoughts drifted to Kate's news last night.

 _"_ _ _I can't believe that Alexis was the one person who made her believe that it was the right decision to tell me we were going to have a baby. She must have been so torn with her decision. We need to have a heart to...__

"Mr. Castle." A voice calls out into the room.

Rick is in such a heavy thought that he never hears his name being called.

"Mr. Richard Castle…?" The voice repeats.

He is startled out of his thoughts when he hears his name being called again.

"I'm here," He responds by standing up to follow.

"Good, I thought you might have changed your mind." The nurse says.

"Not on your life." he replies.

They walk back to the treatment room and the nurse asks him to sit so they can get him started on his treatment. As he reclines in the leather chair he uncovers his injection port for the IV to be placed there. The treatment usually takes about an hour, but today he is finished quicker. Since he has some free time on his hands he was just about to leave when Dr. Cho walks up alongside him.

"Hi, Rick. I just finished going over your chart and your questionnaire I am a little concerned about your sleep patterns." She states.

He doesn't know why but he hates talking about this subject. It shouldn't bother him but in ways it does.

"Dr. Cho, there have been recent developments in my life recently. I'm afraid I haven't gotten much sleep because of them." Rick states.

"Oh really, Please tell me of these developments?" he asks.

"Yes, of course, first, I'd like to tell you that last night was another sleepless night." Rick reports.

"Okay, was there anything that could have caused it? Perhaps it was caused by this new development you told me about?"

Rick is very hesitant to answer the good doctor. But on the other hand if this will be able to get him at least 4 hours of peaceful sleep he will tell her.

"Dr. Cho, do you remember the woman I was with when we started the trial?" Rick asks.

"Yes, I do. If memory serves me correctly she is a police detective, right?" the doctor responds.

"Yes, you're right. Since then we have become a couple. Now, last night she told me that we are going to have a baby in seven months." Rick says watching for his doctor's reaction.

"Rick this is great news, congratulations." She says with a smile which he returns.

"Okay, doc…That's the good news. Now for the bad news…After she told me we were going to have a baby. We went to bed and for the life of me I could not get to sleep." Rick explains.

"Okay, well maybe we should run a couple of tests to see what's happening. I'm sure it's nothing, but it's better to be safe." She says.

Rick agrees.

Later while Rick is lying on the table as he hears the MRI machine to go through it's warm up cycle. He hopes that she is right. There is nothing to worry about. He now has so much to live for.

"Rick, the table will move forward on its own. Please do not be alarmed. Please remember to stay as still as possible while in the machine." The tech says as Rick readjusts the foam support upon his head is resting.

The scan only takes about 20 minutes.

"Okay, Rick the scan is done. You did great being so still in there." The tech says.

The table now has slid back to it's starting position. He is slow to get up.

 _ _"I'm getting old."__ _Rick thinks._

"Rick, the results will be completed in about an hour. Do you have time for the doctor to consult with you over these scans now? Or should I schedule you an appt for a later date?" The tech asks.

Glancing at his watch, he notices that it's almost noon and he really wanted to meet Kate for lunch and find out what happened with her news.

"I guess I could wait." he says with a twang of dismay.

"That would be great. Can you go back up to the clinic's waiting area? Dr. Cho will call you when she has the test results." The tech directs.

What he thought was having a little extra time, this has now turned into a drain of his time. So he waits and waits a little more. After an hour and a half, Dr. Cho calls his name. He exits the waiting area.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Kate, on the other hand, has been on pins and needles the entire morning. While she had every intention of telling her Captain her news, she chickened out at the last minute. Maybe it was the fact that Ryan and Espo were giving her the concerned look on their faces. So instead of knocking on the captain's door jamb she walked to the ladies room and rethought her options.

 _"_ _ _I could wait until I had a more convenient opportunity."__ She thinks as she looks into the restroom mirror.

Collecting herself she has a plan. Now it's just a matter of time. Just as she gets back to her desk her phone is ringing.

"Beckett," She answers.

She listens then speaks.

"Just text me the details." she tells the voice.

All thoughts she had of telling her news to her Captain are now gone as she hangs up and picks up her coat from the back of her chair.

"Espo, Ryan let's go we have a body." She says.

They both turn and look at her and see that she is all business. Whatever was on her mind before is now gone. They get ready to leave.

They arrive at the address then survey the crime scene. The boys notice that Beckett is not on her "A" game. Ryan looks at Espo and just as Kate and Castle have their nonverbal communication skills to convey what they want with each other without actually speaking, so do they.

Ryan notices the change in her mood when they first arrive and it gets worse the longer they are there. The victim is a very young female mid 20's at most. As Kate heads into the bathroom she hurries out and focuses more of her time in the living area. The investigation proceeds forward and the boys make their way into the bathroom and see a home pregnancy test with the results in the bathroom on the sink counter.

Kate thinks that her prime suspect is the boyfriend because the manner of the murder carried out is one of passion. Ryan moves over to Javi and whispers to him

"Javi what's going on? Some thing's up with her. She seems withdrawn from her usual routine." Ryan asks.

"Kev I have an idea about what it is. We should let this play through and see where she goes with it." Espo responds.

"Well if you think that's the way to go..." Ryan whispers back.

"I do." Espo says cutting him off.

Finishing up at the scene, they all head back to the precinct. Kate is lost in her thoughts about the case. She has an idea about what happened at the crime scene. She thinks that the murder victim had told her boyfriend that they were going to have a baby. He went off the deep end. They probably had a knock down drag out fight. Things went from a basic fight to something more serious. She was stabbed in the chest and the abdomen. After finding out who the boyfriend was, they put out an APB for his arrest.

They had run his financial history and as Kate was looking it over she noticed that there was no way he could support an additional burden. He was barely making ends meet with the income he had. Her hand protectively came to rest on her own abdomen as she wondered. How could a person just end two lives with such disregard for life? This was the part of the job she really hated. It was almost 2:30 in the afternoon and she had not heard from Rick yet.

Picking up her phone she dialed his number from the speed dial list. On the third ring, it went to voice mail. He was most likely still at the clinic. Deciding not to leave a message she hung up then set it back down on the desk before turning it off. She was too involved in her thoughts to wonder why he did not answer. She was an emotional wreck and although she tried not to show on the outside. She was dying on the inside. Pushing her chair away from her desk, she stands and thinks for a second.

Taking her coat and bag, she heads to Roy's office. Knocking on his door, he looks up at her.

"Sir I need some down time." She requests.

"Beckett what's wrong? You never take time off during an investigation." Roy responds.

"Sir, there are things that I need to sort out. After I do, I will explain everything to you." Kate answers.

"Well, in that case, time off granted." He says.

She leaves his office and starts for the elevator. Walking by the boys, she says nothing and waits for the elevator to arrive.

"Yo Beckett, what's up?" Espo asks.

"Guys, I need some time off. When I get things sorted out I will be back I promise" Kate says.

She really did not want to go into a long and drawn out reason as to why she was leaving so she just left it at that. Reaching the lobby she threw a wave to the desk Sergeant and left the building. The crisp autumn air chilled her face. With no specific destination in mind, she just started to walk...


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The brisk air had her thinking of all that she had faced recently. There was Rick's fight with his leukemia, her pregnancy and Alexis' decisions for college. She felt an emptiness inside her as she walked down the sidewalk. She needed her mother here to tell her everything would be fine. She knew that this was never going to happen. She had hoped that from somewhere Johanna was looking down on her and smiling. She hopes that her mother was proud of the fact that she had finally seen through the haze and opened her eyes. She had finally put her mom's case aside and was getting on with her life.

She had a man that loved her deeply. He would do anything to make her happy. His love was unwavering. She was so foolish for waiting for so long to realize it. She knew that he was overjoyed with the fact that was starting a family. There was still some doubt in her mind. Now was not the time to dwell on the past. She needed to give herself freely to him. She hopes that he would understand. With this thought still fresh in her mind, she found herself passing near their park. It was where so many of their major decisions were made.

She looks through the chain link fence and notices a familiar figure there sitting on one of their swings. Stopping she can't really make out who it exactly is. Curiosity gets the better of her and she enters the park. She heads over to the playground. Getting closer she sees now realizes who it is. It's Rick. Walking closer still, she can now make out his face. She is suddenly saddened at what she sees in his eyes. He has been crying. His cheeks are stained with his drying tears. He stares far past her but looks directly at her in the same moment.

"Rick …" She calls his name softly.

He does not respond. He is in another world. She sits in the swing next to him and waits for him to come back to earth. Ten minutes pass as Kate was just about to ask him what was wrong when he spoke suddenly.

"The world sucks and it's against me." He says vehemently.

Kate looks at him waiting for more to come. She is very troubled with his comment.

"Kate, I need to tell you something. Do you remember the night you told me that you were pregnant?" Rick asks.

"Yeah, why Rick?" Kate answers then grasp his hand.

"Well, I have not been totally upfront with you about the effects on my body and mind since I started the taking the trial drugs. I thought it would pass with time, but it has not and only seems to have progressed for the worse." He responds.

Kate is speechless and wonders what else he is keeping from her. She really should not judge him since she has issues of her own. She needs to talk to him.

"Is there anything else wrong?" Kate asks with trepidation.

"No, the night you told me that we were going to be parents. I lie in our bed all night not sleeping. I just stared at the ceiling fan going in circles until dawn. Many of my nights have been this way since I started this trial." He says.

"Rick you know that you can tell me anything...right?" Kate states.

"Kate with all that you've done for me I really did not want to burden you all over again." Rick reluctantly says.

She loves this man with all her heart. He was hiding his pain just to comfort her. She doesn't deserve him.

"Rick I'm going to let you in on a little secret. "We, me and you" as she points back and forth between them "are in this together just look at my stomach."

Rick chuckles for the first time today. He knows he should have told her long before today. He knows that there is so much she worries about already.

"Rick there is something I need to talk to you about." She said thinking he was done.

"Kate listen I need to tell you more, but it does not have to do with me not sleeping at night. When I told the doctor that I was not sleeping right she sent me in for an MRI. Then I waited for the results." Rick says.

Kate is getting worried now and is imagining all sorts of scenarios. none of then good. Not getting too worried yet she listens to him.

"The MRI showed a small blood mass in my brain. They said it traveled from my carotid artery, broke off in little pieces and moved to the right side of my brain." Rick continues.

She is at a loss for words. They have come so far in making sure he was beating the leukemia and now they need to address this!

"Rick is there anything we can do to fix this?" Kate asks.

"I was on my way back to the loft. I thought I'd have more time to get my thoughts together before I saw you. That's why I came here. We have faced a lot of our problems here. We always figured them out together." Rick states.

"Rick, what did Dr. Cho say?" Kate worriedly asks.

"She placed me on a type of blood thinner, I can't remember what it's called for the life of me, but this might take care of the clot. I have to wait until the next scan to determine the effectiveness of this treatment. If the next scan reveals it's still there then I will need to be seen by a neurosurgeon." Rick explains.

"Rick I don't know what to say to comfort you." Kate says holding on to his hand.

"Kate the world sucks. So there is really nothing you really could say. I love the fact you tried. By the way, Kate why aren't you at work?" Rick asks noticing the time.

"Rick I was doing the same thing that you were doing. I was trying to get my thoughts together before I went back to the loft." Kate says.

"Well have you gotten your thoughts together and if you have what sort of thoughts are they?" Rick asks.

"Sort of…Rick listen what I am going to tell you. It is from my heart okay, so no comments until I'm finished." Kate says.

"Okay, I promise." Rick repeats.

"When I told you that we were going to have a baby? I felt like it was the worst thing that could have happened. I am afraid that I could not be the mother that this baby deserves on many levels. I know that you raised Alexis all alone. You have those memories to guide you in raising this baby. I know that I will be a person who has no instincts in raising a child. I just feel so lost when it comes to motherhood. My mom made it look so easy with raising me." Kate says explaining her insecurities.

"Kate, are you done? I just want to make sure." Rick asks.

"Yes, thanks." She replies.

"Good, so please now listen what I am about to tell you. Raising Alexis was great. Do you think that I had all the answers? I was a total mess wondering if I was doing the right thing with doctors, formula, diapers, and whatever else I was doubting. Heck, I went running to the pediatrician with her if she had a fever over 98 degrees. So I am going to say this once...no one has all the answers got it?" Rick states.

"But Rick..." Kate protests.

"But nothing, there is something else bothering you isn't there?" Rick picks upon her uneasiness.

"You could say that. I miss my mom. I could use her guidance and words to get me through this now" Kate confesses.

"Kate I'm so sorry that thought never entered my head. I know you miss her. I know we will get through this okay. I do have one request to honor her memory if you agree to it?" Rick asks.

"What's that?" Kate answers.

"If we have a baby girl then we could name her Johanna Taylor?" Rick asked hopefully.

Kate thought about his idea. The more she thought about it the more she fell in love with it.

"Rick that's so sweet and I think it's a great idea." Kate says being very touched by this thought.

Getting up off the swing she stands in front of him.

"I love you, Richard Castle!" Kate says as she leans over to kiss him.

"I love you too, Babe. Now help me up off this swing. I have been her for so long my legs fell asleep. I really am getting too old for these swings." Rick says.

Taking his hands into hers, she pulls him up off the swing and steadies him once he is standing. He offers his arm to her and they stroll out of the park together both at peace with their lives. The sun is just setting and they look at the sunset together.

"Kate, would you come with me for the second MRI in two weeks?" Rick asks.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Kate responds.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Arriving back at the loft they notice Alexis feverishly running around the kitchen. She turns when she hears the door open.

"Nooooo, you guys can't be here yet." She laments.

"Alexis what's going on?" Rick asks.

Before she can answer Kate pulls at his sleeve and motions at the table. It was set complete with candles. He looks at the table.

"We did not see a thing. We will be in my office with our eyes closed." Rick says.

"Thanks, Dad." Alexis replies.

Twenty minutes later there is a knock on his office door.

"Mom, Dad dinner's ready!" She says.

They leave the office and see a feast on the table. Alexis must have been at work on this all afternoon. There is every type of vegetable, salad, and a roast beef. It looks great.

"Alexis, why did you do this?" Rick asks with a watering mouth.

"Dad it's simple. I wanted to do this because of all the help that Kate gave me for the college admission forms we filled out together. We also did a lot of research into my top 3 choices and that took like forever! And you both have so much to worry about so this is my way of saying I love you both." Alexis admits.

Kate is breathless by what Alexis has done. She feels like she is really home for the first time in her life. She is puzzled at why she called her Mom. She will need to ask her about that later.

"Alexis this looks wonderful you've really outdone yourself here." Kate says.

They all take a seat and eat in silence because the food is that good. Alexis looks at her dad and then to Kate. She knows there's something off because she can see it in their faces.

"Dad, Mom what's wrong?" She asks seen the worry on her father's face which is reflected in Kate's eyes.

Kate hears that word again. Rick could never keep anything from Alexis. She was good at reading the looks on anyone she met even in such a short time.

"Pumpkin I have some news. It's nothing bad, but I need to have some additional tests done."

"How serious are these tests?" She asks.

"These tests are just a follow-up for a blood clot your dad has. He is on a blood thinner that should take care of the problem, but we just need to be sure." Kate responds.

"Alexis everything will be fine. I have not come this far to quit now." Rick comforts his daughter's worries.

"Okay Dad, Mom if you tell me not to worry then I trust you both." Alexis says. "I do have one request though?"

"Okay, Pumpkin what is it?" Rick asks.

"Please do not keep me in the dark about either of your conditions." Alexis pleads.

"Okay, Pumpkin we both promise so now the next question is. Who has room for dessert?" Rick jovially asks.

"We all do…" Kate answers to uproarious laughter.

"Okay, then I will be right back." Alexis says as she takes some of the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

Kate thinks that this will be a good time to ask Alexis why she calls her Mom. She looks at Rick who motions her to go help.

\\\\\\\\\

"Alexis, would you like a hand?" Kate asks.

"Sure would you get the whipped cream in the fridge and bring it here, please?" Alexis points at the refrigerator.

Kate pulls out the whipped cream then hands it to her.

"Alexis, can I ask you a question?" Kate asks.

"Kate you can ask me anything. What's wrong?" Alexis answers.

"It's not a matter of being wrong...but I am curious as to why you are suddenly calling me Mom?" Kate asks intrigued at the answer she would give.

"Kate that's easy. We spend so much time together. We do things together that I am not able to do with my real mom. So while you are technically not my mother. I still think of you as my mom. Besides whenever he or she arrives then it would be weird for that young person to learn that he or she would not have the same mom as her or his big sister. If this is too weird for you then I can stop." Alexis explains.

"No Alexis, I actually kind of like it." Kate states "Thanks for including me"

Alexis rushes over to Kate and draws her into a loving hug. Rick watches the whole event unfold in front of his eyes. He loves the fact that they get along so well. He loves his two girls like nothing else on the face of the earth.


	16. Chapter 16

It has been almost three weeks since Dr. Cho had prescribed the blood thinners for Rick. He had hoped that the drug did its job and dislodged the partial blood clot in the right hemisphere of his brain. As he patiently waited for the doctor to return back with the MRI results he had plenty of time to think. He had finished his trial visit this morning. Usually, Dr. Cho talks to him about the trial and his sleep habits. So he was asked to have a second MRI done after his trial visit he wondered why. This is what has him fidgeting like a child in his seat...waiting.

"Rick, could you follow me, please?" The Doctor says with a questioning look to her face.

He now expects that when any figure of authority asks him that question the news is not good in nature. So he follows her hoping he was wrong. They enter her office and they both take a seat. He looks at her as she reviews the MRI results one last time. She looks up at him and she can see that he is expecting disastrous news.

"Rick I have your test results from today's scan and from what I see everything looks perfect." She says with a small smile.

He lets out a shallow breath and inhales again but deeply this time. Only he held it in for a couple of seconds. Now he has about a million questions to ask her. His mind comes up with nothing.

"So there is no blood clot left." He asks concerned.

"That's correct, Rick. The medication has worked as planned. So now I need to ask you one question." She responds.

Rick shakes his head and allows her to ask.

"Rick, how have you been sleeping since the medication was prescribed to you?" She asks.

"Well now that you mention it. I have been sleeping more and more through the night. It's like my sleep is longer in duration starting from four hours about two weeks ago and now I sleep at least eight solid hours now." Rick responds.

"This is great. I think that this clot was the cause of your sleeplessness. Just to be sure we will revisit this issue in another two weeks. I'll still need you to fill out the questionnaire religiously noting any change in your sleep." She orders.

"I will." Rick says happily.

Just as he thinks his news from Dr. Cho is finished he rises from the chair. Looking down to the paperwork on her desk there is more than just the results from the MRI. He looks at them questioningly then looks to his doctor.

"Sarah is there something more that you need to tell me?" Rick asks.

Sarah just looks up at him and really wants to tell him the additional news she has, but she won't violate doctor/patient privileges. But seeing Rick beat the brain bleed she rethinks her position.

"Rick, what I am going to tell you must stay between the both of us and go no further beyond the walls of this office." She confides.

"Sarah, you can trust me." he said vehemently.

Thinking of how to start, she just dives right into it.

"Let's say that the trial had a patient X. You were both admitted into the trial however they had a head start on you, almost by two weeks." She states.

Rick picked up on her admission of "had" in her sentence.

"He was doing great and then out of the blue they develops sepsis. They neglected to have it treated when his fever spiked. When it returned to somewhat normal levels he just ignored it. There was no warning when his internal organs started to shut down. They were an older patient and their immune system was compromised. They were on the drugs taking while on this trial. These two factors led to them going into septic shock (she lied) from which they never recovered." She finishes.

Rick looks at her. She noticed that his face has lost the all of its color. He is now bordering on fear. She needs to reassure him, but she does not know how. Rick has one of the factors that patient X has he is in the same age group that is considered to be at risk.

"Sarah, am I going to be heading down this path? Should I be worried?" Rick asks.

"Rick I will be honest with you. While you have one of the factors that could possibly put you into this situation. I think that you will be fine. While your age is the biggest factor I am not seeing that anything else would put you into this situation. We will, however, be monitoring you just a little more closely now that we know what we are looking for." She says with compassion.

Rick feels a little more at ease with her last statement.

"So is there anything else Sara?" Rick asks.

"No there is nothing else Rick. We are going to be extra vigilant on this okay?" She says.

"Right, any little discomfort you are going to be alerted." Rick says.

"That would be fine. I rather have to see you 100 times for nothing than you ignore it just once. Then, there would be nothing I can do. Ignoring anything can be a killer" She warns.

"Okay, Doc I got it loud and clear." Rick says as he got up and left.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

He steps out onto the sidewalk in front of the clinic and watches as the world passes by him. As he stands there he needs to get back to Kate. He still did not know what happened to her. He looks at his phone and there are no new messages then he sends her a text.

 **"** _ ** **Done with Doc…I'm heading to the 12th. See you soon! Love, Rick."****_

He wants to tell her what has happened at the clinic. Walking towards the curb and raises his arm hoping to hail a cab. If by miracle one cuts across the busy avenue. It screeches to a halt right in front of him. He opens the door and slides into the cab.

"Where to bud…?" The cabbie asks.

"The 12th precinct in the east village…" Rick replies.

Before Castle realizes it they are pulling up to the 12th. He passes a fifty to the cabbie and goes to open the door.

"This is a 50. Don't cha ya want da change? It's only a 10 trip." The cabbie responds.

Rick replies "Keep it"

The cabbie could use more fares like him. He speeds away in search of his next fare before Castle can even close the door. He glances at his phone there was no reply. Rick figures Kate got busy really busy...

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

He enters the precinct and walks to the elevator. He presses the up button and steps onto it when the door opens. Arriving at the 4th floor, he steps out and quickly scans the bullpen in search of Kate. Her desk is empty and so is the break room.

"Hey guys have you seen Beckett?" he asks.

Ryan looks up from the file he was reading

"No, Sorry Castle I just got back. She was gone when I returned." Ryan says looking down at his paperwork.

"Espo, do you have any idea where she could be?" Rick asks.

"Castle she left here about 2 hours ago. She said she needed to run a couple of errands." He replies.

"Thanks, Guys. I hope I'll catch her later." Rick says trying to exit the precinct.

"Castle, what's going on between the two of you?" Javi asks.

"What do you mean?" Rick asks.

He had not been aware of him doing anything different. Had Kate? He wondered.

"What I mean is that Beckett has not been herself for the last couple of weeks. She walks around here like she has no clue and to top it all off she has tried many times to see Montgomery. She just looks at him in his office and leaves for the ladies room. It's kinda creepy if you ask me." Javi says.

"Javi there is a lot going on that you don't know about. In time when it's right for her, she will tell the both of you. Until that happens I really can't elaborate on the issue." Rick says now being a bit more concerned.

Kate was supposed to be with him at the Doctors appointment. They had discussed it that morning. When she did not show he figured something came up. However, finding out Kate left in plenty of time to make it. That news made him worry even more especially when Javi reported Kate being spacey.

"Okay, Bro I'll be waiting." Javi says.

Rick pulls out his cell phone and pulls up her number and hits send. It rings twice and her voice mail greeting plays. He leaves her a message

 ** _ **"Hey Babe, I just left the 12**_** ** _ **th**_** ** _ **and you were not there. I hope you're okay. Please call me back I need to talk to you."**_**

He ends the call and decides to head back to the loft. Since it's just a short 22 blocks from the precinct to the loft he decides to walk back.

While he walks he thinks about their baby. She is now just about to enter her second trimester. He looks to the future and before long he sees his child accomplishing the feats that a toddler would. Their first steps, babbling incoherent words and smiling. He or she would smile a lot. He was in no way going to let this baby be without a father like he was. There was nothing that he would not do for his child. He hears his name being called and that brings him out of his semi-daydream. He looks up at the street sign and realizes that he is almost at the door of his loft. Alexis strides up along side of him.

"Dad, are you alright? You looked like you were in another world." She asks worriedly.

"Alexis I'm fine. I was just deep in thought that's all." He responds.

They enter the lobby of the building. He keeps quiet from the lobby to the hallway leading to the loft. He was worried about Kate missing his appointment. He did not want to talk about anything with his daughter. He just wants to find Kate. He slips the key into the lock and to his surprise the lock is already open. Instinctively he pulls Alexis behind him in a protective move and slowly opens the door. The loft is pitch black.

There is not one light on anywhere. It's then when he hears it. He looks at Alexis just to confirm that she hears it too. Her eyebrow raises and he knows it's not only him who hears the soft sobbing. As they walk in so very cautiously the sobbing gets louder. He makes his way up to his office and there is no doubt that the sobbing is coming from there and it's Kate.

He gently opens the office door and he thought to himself that she had done a lot to hide her presence from the world. He found her up against his desk and she had her arms wrapped around her legs rocking back and forth. This looks so uncomfortable to him because she has grown much more around her midsection. She looked so small to him. His heart was breaking just a little bit more at the sight of her there.

He walks slowly over to his desk where she is with Alexis in tow. He does not want to frighten her so he gently places his hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him but says nothing. He can tell that she has been crying for quite some time. Mascara is running down her cheeks and the tears are still fresh. He asks her the only thing he can to find out why she is here in the middle of the afternoon.

"Babe, what's wrong. Please talk to me." Rick asks wrapping his arms around her.

She takes a couple of quick breaths and then she starts.

"Rick, Oh I am so sorry I missed your doctors appointment." Kate says still sobbing.

"Yeah well that's fine babe, at least you are safe…Kate tell me what's happening?" Rick asks.

"I was on my way to your appointment and I got a call from my OBGYN. She said that she needed to see me right away. So I sent you a text but I guess you did get it?" She asks.

Rick shakes his head no. Kate continues.

"Okay, so I visited with my doctor at her insistence this morning." she said between sobs. She really can't tell him the truth and it hurts her not to. But doctor Cho was not kidding about saying anything to him about their coffee date.

He now knows that she has been here at least three hours by herself. Rick thinks before asking his next question.

"Kate this nothing to be crying over is it? Shouldn't you be happy?" Rick asks.

It was then that reality had hit him. His mind raced to think what she must be going through all alone. If she received bad news about the baby and he was not there to be with her. He would never forgive himself. He let her go on her own. Now there will be to be a price to pay. Though, he never did receive her text. He wonders, where did that text go? Alexis wisely departs quietly so both adults could speak freely.

"Rick, you know that I love you right?" She says between sobs.

He nodded yes.

"Well, there is something I need to tell you. I am not quite sure how to word it. You are the one who is great with words, not me." Kate answers.

"Kate, just do your best. I will understand okay?" Rick comforts.

She retells him about her visit and he listens intently. When she comes to the end of the visit she tells him what the doctor told her.

"I hope you can deal with twice the hugs and kisses." The OBGYN tells her. Kate looked at her midsection...

 **A/N: There will be about 4 or 5 chapters left to post. Please enjoy what's left of this journey.**

 **A/N 2: To all who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving!**

 **P2P**


	17. Chapter 17

Dr. Sara Cho was if anything a fair doctor. It was the medical board she had an issue with. When Rick got up and was getting ready to leave he noticed the paperwork that she haphazardly left out for him to see. The copy of Larry's death certificate sticking out of his medical file probably made him ask what he asked. She did not have the heart not to tell him about Larry Kemper. He was a little older than Rick and that was the only similarity that they had shared. Larry was just a little too free with his life. He was the one who always took the risks that no one else would take.

She hated herself for giving Rick the sugar coated truth. She needed to because if the hospital administration had ever found out that she told him the real truth he would be removed from the last remaining weeks of the trial. So she lied to him giving him the basic background of a patient who was not even a part of the trial passing it off as Larry's.

There was a time when Larry had been the model citizen. Held down a decent job, was never one to find trouble and had a loving family. But recently he drank a little too much and when he was a teen he had experimented with drugs, but he quickly found out by being arrested for use and possession that drugs were not in his future. So he gave up that dirty habit. But in the short time that he dealt and used those drugs they had made a lasting bad impression on his body.

And it was here before he knew it. It was his last day on this earth. He had said his goodbyes to his two children now all there was for him to do was wait. He had wondered if he was not so foolish with his life when he was younger would he be here right now. Sure everybody second guesses the choices in life that they make, but he had thought of nothing else, since being put into this trial. He thought he would beat his leukemia. He was wrong. He died trying to take in the air that his lungs would not allow. It's a funny thing the simple act of breathing. The brain tells you all that you need to do inhale and fill your lungs and then exhale. It's the simplest of tasks. But when the mechanical part of your body stops responding to the electrical part, the simplest things that we take for granted start to cease happening. Then within your own body a war has now taken center stage and then it's only a matter of time while the remaining organs in your body follow suit. It does not take that long from start to finish only about four and a half minutes have elapsed. And then he is now just another corpse.

No, Dr. Sara Cho would keep this information from Rick at any cost. She wanted to see him make it and beat this disease with no reservations. This is why she told him a little white lie. He would never find out the truth and he would beat this. She would make sure of it.

She watched the man walk away down the corridor none the wiser. She had rounds to make and there were other patients to tend to. She just wished that Rick would not have the second complication that Larry devolved from the trial. What actually killed Larry was the drug that the whole trial group had been given. At first he had been alright when they had given him his doses in the early part of the trial. It was not until he made it to the 3rd week when he started showing symptoms that the drug was causing problems. What was happening was that his red blood cells were being robbed of the oxygen in each cell. Making him anemic. Then without warning his leukemia that was at first kept at bay had returned 5 fold and attacked everything. He died a quick and painless death.

She had hoped that Rick would not follow down this road. They had been taking blood samples ever since Larry had started showing the symptoms. When they gave him his drug telling him that that the blood draw was just to see how well the drug was performing. As of this mornings injection, Rick's red blood count was just under the normal range of 4.32 trillion cells per liter. He was reading 4.14. This was still good because when the trial had first started his initial readings were 1.86. She hoped that the trial drug was doing its job. But what really worried her was the fact that they had prescribed him 5mg of Warfarin. She was concerned that with his thinner blood this might cause problems.

"Sara?" Jessica called.

"Jessica, what is it?" Sara looked as Jessica walked in and sat in the empty chair next to her desk. Jessica Grundy. She was a doctors godsend. Always having reports prepared, well written and readily available for any doctor who asked. And the fact that she told you as it was. No bullshit.

"Sara, I have Mr. Castles results from his trial blood work."

"Please tell me that there's good news with this morning's tests."

"You know me, but I think attention should be paid to the fact that he is on the edge of losing his place on this trial. He is starting to have the symptoms that Larry had shown in week 3. And now he is into week 7."

"Jess, just give me until Friday. Re-run the blood work again and hopefully with the reduction in his Warfarin meds maybe he might come around."

"Okay Sara, you're the boss." Jessica has her doubts.

She wanted to call his girlfriend Kate and ask to meet her to talk over coffee. Nothing unethical, just girl talk. She found Kate intriguing and just wanted to get to know her a little better. So against her better judgment she places a call to Kate.

The call connects "Katherine Beckett?" Sara asks.

"Hi, and it's Kate, by the way, and who is this?"

"Oh hi, Kate. It's Dr. Cho." Hoping she remembers her.

"Yes, Dr. Cho. What can I do for you?"

"Kate do you have some free time this morning?"

"Actually, I am almost finished with my OB appointment."

"Okay, then how about we get together for a cup of coffee? Decaf for you of course."

Kate laughs a little. "Okay, when and where?"

"I'll text you the address.

22 minutes later Kate sees Sara walk into the cafe. She wonders why she wants to meet. When Sara sees Kate, her heart goes out to her. She is really pregnant, hell she wasn't sure, but it looked like she was carrying twins. Her mind was now made up. This woman fought for her man like no one else did.

"Hey, Kate."

"Hi Sara."

I just thought that it would be a good idea to get to know you a little better. I am always cooped up in the office and I thought that I could talk to a friend."

"Sara, is something wrong with Rick?" Sara does not answer instantly putting Kate on alert.

"Kate there are things I can't tell you and tests concerning his health are one of them." Sara says as she motions to the napkin at her fingertips. On it there is a written note.

 _Rick could be entering uncharted territory._

"So Sara have you ever known anyone to dance the Tango?" Sara nods.

Again she taps the napkin and Kate read what she wrote.

 _There could be a possibility that Rick becomes ineligible for the trial._

Kate who's face is now white as a ghost looks at Sara.

"Kate there are things that we can do to make sure he keeps on dancing!"

Kate gets the message. "Oh like what Sara?"

"Well for one thing he keeps stepping on my toes when he does a simple dance step this Friday."

"Is that so? I hope that he can steer clear of that move. His last lesson is at 11 am right?"

"Yes, and I hope he can pass this lesson with flying colors!"

Sara looks at Kate once again to see if she has put the pieces together. Kate thinks... _Rick needs to take a some type test and he needs to pass it in order to stay in the trial._

"Sara, this lesson that Rick needs to pass, what happens in he fails?"

"Then Kate his dance card will be full." Sara hated telling her this even if they were using dancing metaphors. Knowing that Rick will not survive without this trial.

"Well Sara I really hope his card won't be full."

"Me too Kate. Me too."

 **A/N: This chapter was not in the first story. I needed to add why Dr. Cho told Rick and Kate how Larry had died. It's not in the story but Rick's blood results come out better than they could have hoped for. He continues on with the trial, and well you will read the rest!**

 **P2P**


	18. Chapter 18

Rick's face dropped slightly as he tried to comprehend the statement he just heard. He stood there trying to figure out what to do or say. Kate was still looking up at him. That's when he saw the look of fear in her eyes. He decided that he could not let her think that he was upset.

"Kate, are you telling me what I think you're telling me?" Rick asks still not believing what he heard.

"Yes Rick, instead of having just one baby, we are going to be the proud parents of two. That means twins." Kate nervously says.

He needed to reassure her, so he did what he thought was the best gesture in this particular moment. He knelt beside her and took the same position she was in. She heard his back and knees crack ever so loudly and this brought a smile to her face.

"I can't wait until you get to be my age babe." He states getting into this uncomfortable position right next to her.

He turned so that his large frame was facing directly in front of her and drew her in for a loving hug. He placed his hand at the small of her back and his other hand on the side of her face. She leaned her head upon his chest. They held each other for what felt like forever. She felt safe and protected in his arms. It was feeling that she never wanted to end. They stayed like this for about an hour.

"Rick, I'm sorry." She says.

"Kate, why on earth should you be sorry?" He asks.

"I missed your appointment at the clinic." She says looking down.

"Kate, right now, that is the least of my worries. I am just glad that you are safe. There is nothing is wrong with the twins." Rick states while hugging her.

Kate looks at him oddly.

"Why would you think there was something wrong with the babies?" Kate asks.

Rick realizing that Kate was just a little emotional he needed to back pedal quickly.

"No Love, I did not mean there was something wrong. I just meant your checkup was fine and the results were the children are progressing normally." Rick says hoping to head off a possible rant.

What do you mean by safe? Why would I not be safe? I am a police Detective. You think I cannot protect myself and our babies? Kate asks with her voice rising.

Rick knew he had to head this one off quickly before it became a full fury. That was something he did not want ever!

"Kate, I know you can protect our precious cargo but look at it from my point of view. I was worried about you. You missed my appointment. You were not at the precinct. You were not answering my phone calls or texts. When I came home the door was unlocked and the place was so dark. There was not a light lit anywhere. Then I heard you sobbing quietly. So my mind was racing I had thought the worst." Rick replies. "I am so glad I was wrong. You make me so happy."

Kate now realizes what he must have thought.

"Rick, I am so sorry that it made you jump to this conclusion. True, I was in your office and you heard me crying. These were not tears of grief but tears of joy. I was in the dark because I needed to think. I think better in the dark. I needed to think on how best to break the news of what the OBGYN told me." Kate explains.

With that said she gets up and offers her hand to him to help him up.

"Kate, I do have some good news too. I think we should relocate before I tell you. I think a better location would be a soft leather couch because I'm hurting now from sitting on this hardwood floor." Rick says grimacing from the pain.

Kate burst out into a quiet laugh.

"Oh, so you think this is funny?" Rick asks.

"Actually I do." She replies giggling.

"Very funny Kate, kick the old man when he is down and in pain." Rick replies sarcastically.

"Come on old man let's get you up." Kate says helping him off the floor.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

They enter the living room hand in hand. Rick stops to turn on a light. He certainly did not want to walk far in this darkness. He turns to her.

"Kate, you look like you are dehydrated. Why don't I get us both something to replenish your fluids?" Rick asks.

"Yeah, Rick I am thirsty let's go together in the kitchen I think there is some fruit juice left." Kate says as they enter the kitchen.

Kate's stomach decided fruit juice was not the only thing needed as it rumbled loudly.

"Rick, I think you need to add something light like a salad too? Can it be one with lots of jalapenos and Chocolate sauce?" She asks.

He double takes at her request. He knew cravings would be happening. Hopefully, it will not get too exotic.

He has everything prepared in quick time and places her salad along with the fruit juice to wash it down.

"Rick, can you get the bottle of Tabasco sauce too?" Kate asks.

Rick complies and places his own salad then begins to eat. Kate shakes massive amounts of that fiery sauce then contently eats. Rick looks away. That amount of hot sauce was burning his nostrils.

"So you were saying something about good news?" Kate asks after finishing her meal.

"Oh yes the good news, well remember when I could not get a solid 4 hours of sleep?" Rick asks.

"Yes, I remember worrying about you not sleeping." Kate replies as she takes a drink from the fruit juice.

They relocate to the couch as Rick continues.

"Well Kate, the medication that she prescribed for the blood clot did the job. The clot was not allowing me to sleep. Once it dissolved I have been sleeping more soundly." Rick explains.

Kate could tell he was holding something else back. It seemed to be bothering him. If he was not going to be forthcoming, she would not push. He would tell her in time.

"So now, we have figured that out that you are pretty much a healthy man with the exception of the leukemia. Is there anything you want to share with me?" Kate asks.

Rick looked at her apprehensively and thought that she might have been seeking more from him. There was no way he was going to tell her about patient X. It would break her heart her if she knew that there was a patient in the trial that had died. Even if it was only because he did not take care of himself. He was in the same trial, taking the same drugs and he was in the same age group as patient X. No, he would keep this from her until he was in remission. He would tell her after he was free of this cancer. Then he thought.

 _"_ _ _No, I have to at least let her know that someone had complications and did not survive this trial...I can not fail her."__

"Babe, Dr. Cho made me go through another scan to confirm that the brain clot was clear. It just took a while to get the results back. That's what took me so long to get here. However, she did advise me to be wary about any little thing. I might have a compromised immune system for awhile as I fight this disease. Kate, if I show any signs of getting sicker, I need you to tell me immediately. It could be a matter of life or death." Rick says hoping it would not worry her too much.

However, being on the alert is a good thing. He hopes it was conveyed as such to her.

"Okay, Rick I will look out for any signs. So to celebrate our good news why don't we go out with Alexis for a good meal at Le Cirque? I'm sure that she would love hearing this good news." Kate suggests.

"Kate, that sounds like an excellent idea." Rick replies.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

What Kate did not know is that he was going to suggest the same thing to her, but she beat him to it. He had an ulterior motive in the works. So he would wait until she left to get ready before he put his plan in motion.

"Kate since it's late in the afternoon why don't you take a little relaxing soak in the tub. I will draw it for you. If you want I will join you after you start turning into a prune?" Rick asks.

"Rick, that sounds absolutely heavenly, promise to join me?" Kate eagerly asks.

"I would never think about disappointing you. I will start the water now then call a guy I know to get us the best table at Le Cirque." Rick says as she smiles at this.

He makes his way to their bathroom then starts the water. He thinks that while she is occupied with her alone time. He will complete phase one of this ruse. He adds bath salts and tests the water. It's just the right temperature.

"Kate, the water is ready." He yells out.

"Okay, I'll be right in." She yells back.

She walks into the bathroom and notices that he has candles lit all over the room and the main lights dimmed. It makes the room feel so relaxing. She is in heaven. She discards her clothes in a pile right inside the door then slips into the steamy water. The water was filled with lavender bath oil.

Are you now comfy? Rick asks.

Kate responds with a contented sigh.

"Good you soak in here while I go get that table arranged for tonight." Rick says leaving.

Kate barely acknowledges as she luxuriates in the steamy waters.

He quickly heads back to his office and without a moment to waste he stares at his safe. Though, he forgot the combination. Thinking about her in the tub, he remembers the combo then enters it. Opening the safe door he sees his registered 9mm Glock 25 along with his very first manuscript and assorted legal papers. Finally, off to the right was a black velvet box. It was exactly what he was seeking.

He takes the box off the shelf and cradles it with love and care. He opens the top of the hinged box. Looking at him is a Tiffany Harmony two karat diamond solitaire engagement ring with a platinum setting and eighteen ¼ karat diamonds adorning the main diamond. He is brought back to the present when he hears a gasp from behind him.

He froze in his spot. If this was Kate and she was done early with her bath he was so busted. When he turned, ever so slowly he found it was only Alexis staring at the ring in the box.

"Dad, is that what I think it is?" Alexis asks with glee.

"Alexis, it is what it looks like. It's an engagement ring for Kate." Rick replies still gazing at the ring.

"Dad, are you sure about this? I mean I was hoping that this would happen a while ago. Your timing could not be more perfect!" Alexis gushed as Rick hushed her.

"Alexis quiet down will you…" Rick says craning his neck to see into the bedroom.

He hoped Kate was still in the tub.

"So sorry Dad I just get excited sometimes." Alexis apologizes.

"Yeah, Pumpkin that's okay I just don't want Kate to hear us." Rick explains.

"Dad, she'll love it." Alexis says in almost a whisper.

Rick smiles then continues.

"Alexis, I am so in love with her. She is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. So I figure I am not going to waste another second." He says with a dreamy look on his face.

"Dad I am so happy for you." She whispers still trying not to give anything way.

"Alexis, would you keep it quiet then act surprised when I ask her tonight at dinner?" Rick asks.

"I will… Wait, what do you mean at dinner? Tonight?" she asks.

"Oh, right dinner…Just hold this for me please Pumpkin?" Rick asks getting out his phone then quickly talks with his guy.

"Dad what was that all about?" Alexis asks.

"Oh, that. I promised Kate reservations for 7:30 at Le Cirque. It's not too fancy is it?" Rick asks.

"No Dad it is perfect! I need to go get ready myself." Alexis says handing the box back to his hands then exits.

Rick placed the box in his pants pocket then closed the safe. Once in the bedroom he places the box in his nightstand drawer. He makes sure Kate did not see him at all. Keeping his promise he removed his clothes and joined Kate in the tub.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Are you a prune yet?" He asked her.

"I'm almost there." She says as she pulls her hand from under the water to look at her shriveled skin.

She rests it on her growing abdomen and gently caresses it. Just then she feels a kick, then another two in rapid succession. The water rippled with each sensation. Rick just gazed at her with wonderment.

"Correction Rick I am there. The water is still warm. Please wash my back would you?" Kate asks.

Rick does not need to be told twice. He cascades water down her back and starts to wash her so gently. Before she has the chance to turn around she hums with approval letting him take care of her.

"These guys must really love the water." Kate says settling into Rick's chest.

"Why is that Kate?" Rick asks.

"Well they been so active kicking me while I have been in here" Kate replies as the water ripples again from their activities.

Rick smiles upon hearing it. He loves hearing about how the little things change her for the better.

Thirty minutes later they are now both prunes and decide to get ready for their night out. Rick gets out first and dries off. Kate lingers just a few seconds longer not wanting to give up the now lukewarm water. He walks into his large closet and selects his clothes for dinner while Kate gets out, dries off and puts on her robe.

"Kate, which tie should I wear the purple one with stripes or the red one?" Rick asks.

Kate looks them over and reaches over then selects the silver one.

"I like this one the best." she says stopping to kiss him.

"Hmm, I like it too…the silver one it is!" Rick says as Kate saunters away from him to get seated at her makeup table.

While Kate's back is turned. He slips the box from his pants pocket into his jacket pocket.

Kate busily puts on her makeup and slips on her dress. It was Isabella Oliver Sleeveless Knot Front Maternity Gown in lavender. Then she found the perfect shoes for the occasion. They were flats Rick had purchased. She looks longingly at the stiletto sitting in their rack. She knew only sensible shoes were needed for this pregnancy. Though, her feet look so good in those pumps. She realizes that sacrifices have to be made. Sighing she looks at herself in the full-length mirror. She was looking very good.

She thinks to herself

 _ _"If this dress doesn't get to him nothing will."__

Within an hour, they are both ready and waiting for Alexis to come down from her room.

"Alexis, we do have 7:30 reservations so could you hurry?" Rick yells upstairs.

"Dad, you know by now you can't rush beauty!" She shouts from her room.

Ten minutes later they all head down to the limo. Rick had an agenda to follow and little did Alexis know, but there would be some surprises in store for her too tonight...


	19. Chapter 19

Rick thinks back to just 5 minutes ago. Alexis had finally made it back down from her room and she was right. You really can't rush beauty. She was stunning. Kate was as equally breathtaking. She was dressed in a lavender full-length dress that did her justice. Rick really wanted to forget about the whole going out to Le Cirque and stay home with Kate. If he did he would never get his plan off the ground.

Arriving at Le Cirque, the driver stopped the limo then quickly rushed to the right rear door and opened it for his passengers. Alexis got out first followed by Kate and then finally Rick. As he exited the limo Rick stopped and reached into his pocket then pulled out his money clip to peel off a one hundred dollar bill.

"This is for you and the great ride you provided. I want you to keep the car close because we have one more destination to go to after our meal." Rick said handing the bill to the driver.

The driver understood with a nod. Rick rejoined Kate and Alexis who were waiting at the entrance. This was something he had hoped for a very long time. He was with the two most stunning women in his life. Nothing up to now could replace what he was feeling right at this moment in time. Well, that was not true. Alexis' birth will always be the first. However, for now this was a very good second. Hopefully, before the night was over he would ask Kate to be his wife.

"Hello, I'm Richard Rogers I believe we have a 7:30 reservation?" Rick says.

"Yes your table is ready Mr. Rogers please follow the hostess to your right. The table is in the most exclusive part of the restaurant." The young 20 something woman says then smiles.

"Very Good Thank you…" Rick responds, "Now ladies, we can proceed."

"Mr. Rogers…?" Kate whispers to Alexis.

"Yeah, Dad always using his real first and last name…It throws off most reporters and news hounds." Alexis whispers back. "He has been doing it for my protection as long as I can remember."

"Haven't they caught on that the famous playwright has been dead for a long time?" Kate whispers back.

"Luckily, they are not that bright. Besides, these types are lazy. They use informants to tell them the coming and goings of celebrities. Dad has everyone here loyal to him. They would never expose us." Alexis whispers back.

Rick seated Alexis first then Kate and Finally himself. It felt like the jewelry box in his pocket was burning a hole in it. He kept constantly checking if it was there. The waiter arrived

"Hello, my name is Michel. I will be your waiter this evening. What would you like to order?" He asks with a tablet at the ready and a stylus in his hand.

"First I would like to order an appetizer what would you recommend?" Rick asks.

"Well as you should well know the chef specializes in the Risotto. I highly recommend it. It is magnifique" Michel says smiling both at Alexis and Kate.

"Very Well…I would like that, Kate, Alexis is that fine with you too?" Rick asks as both ladies nod.

"Okay, Michel could we have three orders of the Chef's Risotto." Rick says looking at Michel.

"Okay, Mr. Rogers would you like to choose the wine for tonight's meal I could recommend a good selection. I would have the wine steward come to your table to give you more information if you would like?" Michel asks

"Michel, I appreciate the offer, but no wine tonight but sparkling water from my private reserve should be served." Rick orders.

Michel bowed then left the table. Small talk resumed until Michel reappeared with the Risotto and sparkling water. Michel served everyone then discretely left after confirming the four-course meal ordered in advance.

The dinner proceeded well. Alexis was regaling Kate of her pitfalls as a student. Rick's eyes were smiling observing their interactions. Soon the meal time was done. It was time for desert. Alexis excused herself to retreat to the bathroom. She lingered a moment at her father's ear.

"Do it now…" She says as she passes by.

Rick nods then waits until they were alone. Rick gazed into Kate's shining eyes.

Rick stood stepped over to Kate then kneeled. Kate looks bewildered until Rick began to speak.

"Kate I have loved you for quite some time. You are my solid ground, my north star. You have been there for me through everything that life has thrown at me with a resolve that I have never seen in any one person. I am in love for the very first time in my life, and for the last time in my life. You are my one and done. There is no one else who I want to spend the rest of my life." He starts.

Kate looks at him. She sees all the hope and sincerity in his bright blue eyes. She knows what he is speaking was the truth.

"So Kate would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Rick earnestly asks.

Rick removed the ring from the box and holds it in front of her for her to see. Alexis hidden is turning blue from holding her breath for so long. Kate looks at Rick directly into his eyes. This is so he knows that her answer is coming from her heart.

"Rick, I would be honored to become your wife!" She replies with tears in her eyes.

With her answer, he gently slides the two-karat Tiffany diamond ring onto her slender finger. Rick rises then places a soft and meaningful, most passionate kiss to her lips. They were in a world all their own. When they came back down from their high Alexis reappears and hugs her soon to be stepmother.

"I was wondering where you went. You knew this was going to happen didn't you?" Kate says hugging her soon to be stepdaughter.

Rick rises and walks behind screen then opened it to reveal some very special guests. Kate with tears in her eyes couldn't make out who it is.

The first to approach was Jim Beckett.

"Hey Katie Bug, Let me be the first to congratulate you." He says hugging his daughter.

He had discretely been observing the interactions the whole night. Only when Alexis joined him that he knew the time was imminent.

Rick and Alexis hugging each other loved observing the look of love between father and daughter which mirrors their own.

"Dad, did you know about this as well?" Kate asks.

"Well, of course, I did, Bug. Rick came to me asking for your hand when we had a heart to heart over lunch last week." Jim replies.

"So you have known all this time? It must have been hard for you to keep a secret of this magnitude from me when we met for lunch three days ago." Kate says.

"Katie, yes it was hard. I had to do it. I knew you were meant to be together from the start. Rick is a good man. He would die for you. I have seen his commitment first hand. He is devoted to you in ways I have never seen in any of your previous boyfriends." Jim says.

"Jim, please have a seat. I know that you enjoyed your meal while we were having ours so why not join us for dessert?" Rick asks.

"That is a great idea, Rick. Let me excuse myself to my guests first. I will then join you." Jim says as he disappears through the curtain.

Soon he reappears then another chair was brought over. Rick signaled for the dessert.

"Jim thank you for coming…Alexis, there is a reason we wanted you to come out with us tonight. It was even more than witnessing my proposal." Rick starts.

"Dad, what else could there be?" Alexis asks.

"Kate and I have something important we need to tell you all." Rick replies. "Alexis, Jim the real reason we brought you with us tonight is, well there is no easy way to tell you this but you already know that we are going to have a baby."

"Duh Dad, this is nothing new just look at Kate." Alexis wonders why her father stated the obvious…Maybe there was something else?

"Dad, Alexis when I went for my check up with my OBGYN she informed me that we need to have enough love for two." Kate added

Alexis was a little lost on Kate's last statement. Then it was like a lightbulb went off in her head.

"Kate, that means twins! Are you kidding me?" Alexis exploded with joy.

"Congratulations you two… I am so happy I'm going to be a grandfather to three wonderful children." Jim says smiling.

Alexis had always wished for a sibling now she would get two!

Rick looked her as she made the realization.

"Yes, Alexis you are going to be a big sister to not one but two babies." Rick confirms.

"Guys this is amazing. Now I am really excited. Kate, when can we go shopping for outfits?" Alexis asks as she rambles.

Rick looks at Kate. She was smiling from ear to ear.

"Alexis how about we go out first thing in the morning?" Kate asks.

"Well, I think that I would miss my two classes so we could do some serious shopping for the twins!" Alexis comments.

"Then it's settled then we will all go in the morning." Rick says.

"Whoa Rick, I doubt this outing is for us men if you get my drift?" Jim adds.

"Dad, Grandpa Jim is right. Sorry, this is a girl's day out only. You will have ample time to go shopping for the little ones later." Alexis explains.

Kate smirks at her comment, but she will explain later to Rick why they need time to alone to bond. The server returns with the desserts they ordered. The dessert cart comes to stop at the table. Kate looks at the cake on the cart.

"So Kate, the cake looks so good doesn't it?" Alexis asks changing the subject.

"Yes it does, almost good enough to not even eat!" Kate responds.

"I doubt that cake has any chance." Jim quips.

Kate good naturally swats at her father. He knew her very well then leans toward Rick to avoid the blow.

Kate was amazed at the lengths Rick would go to for her happiness. She would never let him go as she gazed at the stone resting on her finger. Just then one of the twins kicked her stomach really hard. She thought they must approve of the events that happened tonight too. There was small talk over dessert then the night came to close. Rick waved over the server.

"Michel would you bring me the bill for this table and the one from the other table, please." Rick asks.

Michel looks at his tablet.

"Sir, the bill has already been settled. I hope you had a fine meal" Michel says as he leaves.

"Jim, was this your doing? It is way too much. Let me at least pay you back." Rick says looking at his soon to be father in law.

"Rick nothing doing. It's only once in a lifetime that my daughter finds the happiness that you have given her. So there will be no comprises on this matter. This dinner is a small price for what you have given her." Jim says being very adamant.

Kate reaches over the table and takes Rick's hand into hers. She gives him a gentle squeeze to make him understand that he is fighting a losing battle. He looks to her a bit sad and knows she is right. She removes her hand and they get up to leave.

"Jim, how are you getting home? There is plenty of space in the limo for one more." While leaving Rick inquires.

"Rick I am grateful for the ride over. I think I'll catch a cab home. You two have fun." Jim says as Alexis steps next to him.

"Jim, are you sure? Alexis, what are you doing?" Rick asks.

"Dad, Grandpa Jim is right it is time for you two alone. I'll get a ride with Grandpa Jim." Alexis says.

Jim raises his hand and within seconds there is a taxi pulling over to him and Alexis who waves at them both then enters. Rick and Kate enter the limo that has been standing by for them.

"Please take us to 72nd East First Street." Rick says as he snuggles against Kate.

Kate looks at him wondering why he needs to go there. She knows that there is someone she knows. Who would he know there? The ride to their destination is a short one. They exit the limo and start walking through the grounds. Kate is still at a loss for why they are there. So she lets things play out. They walk in silence and Rick is counting the rows and suddenly turns to the left. As he walks he counts off in his head each space and comes to stop at one very familiar point.

"Rick, why are we here?" Kate asks bewildered that they are standing in front of her mother's gravestone.

"Kate, I am going to introduce your daughter and the twins to their grandmother." Rick says.

Kate was surprised to see Alexis already at the grave tending to some flowers.

Kate never missed the fact that he used the term "her daughter" and it made her love him that much more.

"Kate, I have been coming here for about a year now. Your mom and I have had some pretty intense conversations together." Rick says as Alexis stood up then hugged them both.

Kate was astonished that Rick took the time to visit her mother. She never knew any of this. She was glad that he made the effort to connect with her even if she was not here. Alexis was looking at her grandmother's headstone and had a question for Kate.

"Vincit Omnia Veritas…?" Alexis reads out loud. "Truth Conquers All…? What does that mean for her?"

"Alexis 'truth conquers all.'…Described my mother's quest. It was the words she lived by her entire life." Kate explains.

"Oh, I see thanks, mom." Alexis says trying out the words for the first time as she hugged her.

Rick spoke gaining Kate's attention away from Alexis.

"Kate, I have had long talks with your mom about a lot of topics, the twins, my health, and Alexis. At times, we talked about what I had planned for my life with you. It was like there was a burden lifted off my shoulders when we spoke and I thought that she should finally meet Alexis and our twins." Rick says.

"Rick, I am at a loss for words. I am glad that you have come here and were able to sort things out. Coming here can be very therapeutic." Kate adds.

"It is and it has been too." Rick says then looks up to the sky.

"Johanna, I'd like for you to meet your three grandchildren. This is Alexis and the twins are here in body and spirit as well." Rick states for all to hear.

Rick places his hand on Kate's belly and gives the twins a gentle rub to let them know that they are in their thoughts too. They stand there in thought for awhile, each of them not wanting to leave and then Rick notices the time and the fact that the temperature has dropped considerably.

"Well goodbye for now Johanna we will be back to visit soon. It is time to get my family into a warm place." Rick says as he motions to Kate that they should get going home.

"Bye Mom I'll be back soon" Kate whispers as the wind rises as if it was bidding everyone farewell.

Returning back at the limo they are on their way once more.

Kate looks down to her hand and thinks back to the nights events that unfolded before her. Her words can't describe how she is feeling right now. The diamond is sparkling so brightly. She has it all now a man who will give her his unconditional love to make her happy. He would be with her during her pregnancy for his children. She now has a daughter who sees that she is so much more than a mother for her. The limo arrives at the loft and this draws Kate from her thoughts.

"Kate, are you okay?" Rick asks.

"Rick, I could not be in a better place right now." Kate sighs with much happiness.

His face breaks into a smile that's reserved for only her. Helping her from the limo they all enter the loft. It's been a long and tiring night. It was well worth it.

"Good night Mom and Dad." Alexis says as she heads upstairs.

"Goodnight Pumpkin" Rick adds as Kate just waves overcome with her emotions.

After saying good night to each other, they all head to their respective rooms. Kate starts her nightly routine. When she is almost done Rick walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. She melts into his embrace.

"Thank-You Rick for everything." She says

He knows exactly what she means when she tells him this.

"Kate lets get some sleep. It will be long day tomorrow." He says.

She smiles knowingly that he understood the meaning in her statement.

"Yeah, let's get some sleep." She says smiling seductively.


	20. Chapter 20

After Kate and Rick retired to the confines of their room Kate became a raging bundle of hormones. Before he could actually get to the master bathroom Kate tackles him to the bed then straddles him. At the same time, she rips the shirt from his body. Rick is in shock at the way this new "Kate" acts. When she reaches for his belt he thinks he should give as good as he gets.

He reaches up and feels for the zipper on the back of her dress. Finding it, it is all she could do not to let out a moan from deep from her throat. He looks at her like she has not had sex in a couple of months. They make love almost every night. This is new.

"Rick, I want you inside me right now." Kate pants.

"Kate, are you sure about this? You are 7 months pregnant with twins." Rick exclaims breathlessly.

"Rick, relax will ya? The doctor told me that we can make love together right up until I having contractions. Then all bets are off." Kate growls.

"Well, Kate, in that case, what are we waiting for?" Rick replies with a growl of his own.

He slips the dress off her very long body. It spills on the floor like a puddle. He stares at her with so much love right at this moment.

 _"_ _ _Rick, you're staring and it's creepy!"__ _He thinks it's what she would say._

However, she never says a word. He unfastens her bra then removes it with one hand. He cups her right breast then playfully tweaks her nipple. She moans in the total pleasure of what this man could do to her body.

He raises his other hand and gently mimics the same actions with the left breast. She thinks that she would explode right then and there. She grabs both of his hands.

"Rick, stop teasing me. I want you right now! No more foreplay okay?" She growls.

"Your wish is my command babe." Rick tells her.

He slides his hands down to her hips. Once he feels nothing but skin he looks at her questioningly.

"I'm not wearing any…I went commando tonight!" Kate responds with a wink.

He grasps her by the hips then rolls her onto her back. Quickly removing his pants and boxers she sees what her last comment does to him. She sits up then reaches for him. He stops her hand before she actually makes contact with his very large length. He slides her further up the bed. Before she knows it his head is between her legs. He starts to work his magic on her oh so very wet folds. She knows she would not last long. He knows this too. His tongue is like velvet as he caresses her lips. She takes his head then directs it where she so desperately needs it to go. Grasping his hair, she tugs it gently. Then she is close...so very, very, close that's when she finally got that wonderful feeling of release. She releases his hair only to see she has strands of his hair in her fists.

He removes his head from between her legs. This time, she did not miss her target. She grabs his length and starts to move her hand slowly along it eliciting a low groan from him. She quickly guides him into her. He starts slow, but she needs fast.

"Rick, please harder and faster!" Kate screams out.

With speed she has never experienced before she is close again once more.

"Are you getting close babe?" Rick grunts as his thrusting became a frenzy.

Kate's body jiggles with each massive thrust. Kate could only nod yes. He releases into her as she does as well. Spent and sweaty he rolls off of her trying not to hurt her. He does not want to harm the babies. As they lay together spooning each other, they bask in the afterglow.

"Rick, I love you with all my heart." Kate says.

"Kate so do I and I will until the day I die." Rick responds.

They complete another two more satisfying rounds before collapsing into each other. She was in heaven. This is the most complete that her life has ever been. After all, they have been through she is now sure that what they have is solid. Before slipping into a very restful sleep, she looks at the stunning engagement ring on her hand that drapes across his chest.

"Kate, a penny for your thoughts…?" Rick quietly asks.

She believed he was asleep. His voice startles her from her thoughts.

"I was just thinking about everything that we have been through in the last year. I am happy that we have everything finally going our way." Kate says as she turned to gaze into his eyes.

"I see so you plan on keeping me?" Rick quips.

She playfully swats him on his chest.

"Kate listen tomorrow is going to be a very rewarding day for all of us. If it was not for you and Alexis I would never receive the opportunity to be a candidate for the clinical trial." Rick says as he suddenly turns serious.

Kate reflects on all the research that they did to get him into the trial.

"So would you come with me to my hopefully last appointment with Dr. Cho?" Rick asks.

"Rick, I would not miss this for the world." Kate says with a kiss.

"Careful now Kate that kiss might lead to round 4 and more?" Rick says.

"No way I'm exhausted after round 3" Kate exclaims.

Rick smiles then lies on his back to stare at the ceiling. Kate resting comfortably on his chest is gently breathing.

He is hopeful that Dr. Cho would have good news. The trial ended last week. She is gathering all the data from the last 6 months for review. He is hopeful that she would inform him that he is in remission. He looks at who was lying on him. He has been sent an angel. She is his purpose in life. He would never forget it. Everything would be fine. They could finally get their lives in order. He felt one of the twin kicks his thigh. That just reaffirms his need for life.

He heard Kate mumble something incoherent. He knows that she was asleep. So she must be talking in her sleep. Thinking of what they have, he too drifts off to sleep.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

Alexis is in the kitchen nook drinking a cup of tea. She loves Earl Grey. She would give them another 5 minutes before going to her dad's bedroom then wake them. It was not like them to sleep so late. They knew that dad had an important appointment with the clinic at 9 am. Sipping her now cooling tea she glanced at her watch once more. It was closing in on 8:15 am. Regretting what she is about to do next, she gets up from the bar stool then walks to their room. She knows that Kate needs her sleep because of the twins, but she is way too excited about his appointment this morning.

She listens for any sounds of them being awake. When she hears her dad let out a snore she knew that she was doing the right thing. She knocks ever so lightly.

"Dad, Mom, are you up yet?' Alexis says with her voice sounding loud and clear to her anyways.

Kate bolts straight up into a sitting position on the bed. She gets up so quickly she thinks that she might have pulled something. After hearing Alexis' statement, she quickly pulls the bedsheet up to cover her exposed breasts in case she enters the room.

"Alexis what's wrong?" Kate asks.

Alexis talks through the door. But the closed door muffles her voice. Kate has trouble understanding her.

"Alexis please come in." Kate says prepared for the redhead.

The door swings open so slowly and Kate is met with the teens closed and covered eyes.

"Alexis it's safe. You can open your eyes. So what did you need?" Kate asks as Rick slumbers on beside her.

She opens her eyes then looks around. She sees Kate wide awake and her Dad, aka 'Rip Van Wrinkle' still fast asleep. Kate looks over to him then back to Alexis with a plan in mind. Kate and Alexis have done this before. Kate does the countdown by holding up three fingers then counts down to zero.

"Banzai…! Cow a Bung a Dad!" They both scream out as they attack the sleeping Rick.

"Wha…what's wrong?" He says wild-eyed then looks at them both. "Are the both out of you minds are you trying to give me, an old man a HEART ATTACK!"

Both Kate and Alexis could not hold in the laughter long. They both burst into laughter that is priceless. It takes at least 30 seconds to compose themselves. When they do all they see through watery eyes is Rick looking at them with the most loving smile.

"Come on dad, you two need to get showers and dress for this big day. I think that we will need to pick up something on the way to eat." Alexis coaxes.

"That is a great idea, Pumpkin." Rick says with a yawn.

In less than twenty minutes, they were ready to go. Locking up the loft and setting the alarm they start off for the coffee shop. It is just around the corner. After exiting the coffee shop, they decide to walk to the clinic. The walk is a short one and before long Rick is signing in hopefully for the last time.

"Please have a seat. The doctor is busy and you will be called soon." The receptionist pleasantly says after scanning his name into the computer.

The waiting seems to be the hardest part for Rick. He needs to be fine for all concerned. So when his name is finally called he has been sweating lightly. This is noticed by both Kate and Alexis.

"Hello, Rick." Dr. Cho says as she enters the room.

"Hi Sara" Rick replies back.

"Well, Rick it seems that I have great news for you." She relates.

"You do?" Rick looked desperately at the doctor.

"Yes, it seems that all you results have come back with no trace of leukemia. I am very happy to report that you are 100% in remission." Sara says with a smile.

Rick was just staring at Sara for a very long time with no response. He looks straight forward with his face blank.

"Rick, what's wrong…? Should I call your fiancée, Kate or your daughter Alexis in here?" Sara asks worriedly.

At the mention of his fiancée Kate, his tears start to drop from his eyes. They were tears of joy. He would be around for a long time to come. He reaches up to grab Sara's hand then he is hugging her. Finally releasing her she steps back and even though it is a breach of professionalism she covers his hand with both of hers.

"Rick I am so happy for you and your family. There is still the matter of your 6 month and after that your annual check-ups." Sarah says.

"Anything you need Sarah. I will be here." Rick replies.

"Great, then I have some dietary concerns you need to follow. It's not that bad. Other than that Rick, have a great life and let me know when the twins arrive would you?" Sara says rising to show him out.

Rick walks back out to the waiting area. He is quickly met by the two most beautiful women in his life.

"WELL DAD?" Alexis screamed.

"Alexis you are aware that this is a hospital...right?" Rick admonishes.

"Yes and I'm so sorry Dad I am just too eager to know the news." Alexis confesses.

"So am I, Rick. So…" Kate asks.

"Well, it looks like that I will be a thorn in both of your sides for a long time to come." Rick says with a big smile.

Kate drew him in for a long and soft hug, but it had turned into a bear hug on both their parts. Not to be left out Alexis joins them. They make room for her. They stand there for about 20 minutes. Sara surreptitiously watches this family the entire time. They had been through so much during this last year. She is happy that they have each other for support. They all break apart with wet cheeks. Once that happens Sara turns to tend to other matters.

 **2 more left. A short one and then the finale.**

 **P2P**


	21. Chapter 21

They arrive home at the loft right after they stop for lunch at Remy's. Rick has been keeping a journal since this whole ordeal with the trial has started. He wants to make his last entry. He walks over to his office just outside of his bedroom then he turns toward Kate and Alexis.

"Kate, Pumpkin, I will be in my office for a while. I need to do a little bit of paperwork." Rick says to them and then he disappears into his office and closes the door behind him.

Kate and Alexis glance at each other with a questioning look. Wondering if they should concern themselves with whatever paperwork he was about to do? They decide to be sneaky and let him get started and then ambush him while he is in his "zone" later.

"What do you think is going on Kate?" Alexis asks.

"Alexis you know how your father can get once he sets his mind to something he is all into it and he never gives anything away." Kate sweetly replies.

They sit on the very expensive leather couch. Kate loves the feel of the leather on her legs. As she relaxes back into the couch she looks down at her growing belly. She is now just under a week overdue. She has thought that making love to Rick two weeks before her due date would give the twins the opportunity to make their grand entrance into this world. It seems that the twins have different plans. She glides her hand over the top of her stomach.

Alexis looks at Kate in awe. She is the very definition of what a mother should be in her estimation. Kate makes another pass over the twins with her hand. As Alexis looks on she sees the push of what looks like a very small foot.

"Kate, did you see that?" Alexis exclaims.

"Alexis that's nothing just wait a minute or two and then watch what really happens. It's right around lunch when they are the most active." Kate responds.

Alexis looks for any further feet or hands to appear on Kate's midsection. She looks and then out of the blue it looks like they are fighting in Kate's belly and then the twins finally calm down.

"Boy, they really need to get out of there." Alexis comments.

"Tell me about it, Alexis. They are so active around lunch then again at 3 am that they wake me and your dad out of a sound sleep." Kate states with a tone of misery.

"Kate, while we are waiting for dad to get into his zone, would you want me to fix you something to eat?" Alexis asks as she rises to head toward the kitchen.

"Alexis that's a great idea I'm so hungry." Kate replies.

"Okay lunch coming right up." Alexis singsongs heading to the kitchen.

"Alexis don't forget the pickles and the ice cream with the chocolate syrup and Tabasco sauce!" Kate reminds the younger woman.

They sit at the table as they eat. Alexis can not figure how Kate was able to get off the couch after being sunken into it so deeply. Somehow she manages to do it. Now Alexis wonders. How on earth she could be eating what was in front of her?

"Alexis, do you think he is in his zone yet?" Kate asks as she finishes off the last spoonful of that awful concoction.

"Kate, it has been so quiet in there I am sure he must be." Alexis confirms.

Alexis tries not to think of what the dirty dishes contains. She disposes of the remnants then washes those dishes. Once she is finished she and Kate very quietly start towards Rick's office. The twins have different plans. They are even more active than before. Kate stops a second before moving again as the twins settle down a little. They peer into his office from between the door jamb crack. Kate studies the expression on his face.

"Alexis, I don't believe this…Come here and take a look." Kate coaxes.

Alexis trades places at the crack. She spies her father in his chair. He had a thick tome in his lap, He was putting pen to paper. This was nothing new to her. Rick has always written in some sort of journal.

"Kate, I do not see anything unusual." Alexis whispers back. "Dad often writes in a journal of some sort. It is his way of chronicling his thoughts and daily life. You should see the journals he kept about me when I was growing up."

Rick unaware of the commotion beyond the door was marshaling his thoughts to make this final entry in the journal about the clinical trial. This journal has been a quest of sorts. He was given such a low survival rate when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He would note in his journal everything and anything. It did not matter how insignificant.

It held thoughts about the trial. The way that Kate and Alexis had researched everything and found the trial in the first place. The way Kate told him that they were going to be parents. He detailed her weird cravings such as her fascination with Tabasco sauce. He has a habit from the start of this journal of re-reading the previous 10 or 15 pages before entering his last entry. Once the last entry was complete he would close this particular chapter in his life. He has come a long way. And he has the support of the woman he loves.

He misses participating with Kate on her cases. He is not sad, but he is a part of her team. She is on a forced maternity leave. She has 6 months after the twins were born before she needs to return. They have talked about it. They came to the decision that he would stay behind and care for the twins once they were here. He would miss her and the boys at the 12th but everything would work out in the end.

"Alexis, does it look like to you that your dad is crying? He is just staring down at his desk." Kate asks as Alexis replaces her at the cracked open door.

"Kate, This is getting ridiculous us spying on him through this crack. I think we need to get in there and find out." Alexis admonishes.

They both rise from the crouching position then softly knock on the door. They hear no reply then they slowly open the door and enter his office. Moving as quietly as possible in order to not disturb him they move to his left. They just stand there looking at him. He still has the tome in his lap. His pen is in his hand. They both look at the page. It is totally blank. He has not written anything under today's date. His face is tear streaked. His eyes look so very tired but relieved. He still did not acknowledge either of them in the room with him. Kate being concerned tries to make contact.

"Rick, are you alright?" Kate asks as she gently touches his face.

"Alexis, Kate what are you doing in here?" Rick says startled.

"Dad we were worried. You have been in here for almost 2 hours." Alexis comments.

"Rick what's wrong?" Kate asks again gaining his attention by caressing his face.

Rick became a bit self-conscious as he turns to Kate to ally her fears.

"Kate, these tears you see me crying, are not tears of sadness. They are tears of joy. The fact that I am here with all of you is a miracle in itself. Since, all this has started. I have been keeping a journal from day one. Now I'll be placing the last entry. However, I am going to let the two of you read what I have written to this point.

They both look at each other. They know that what is written in the journal is private.

"Dad those are your private thoughts…I'd rather not read them." Alexis protests.

"I'm with Alexis on this one Rick…You should keep your thoughts private." Kate concurs.

"Kate, Alexis I appreciate your deference. However, this is my journey. It is also our journey too. We all are in this together. As a storyteller, I want you to know all about this journey that we made together." Rick states.

They both watch as he gets up from his chair. He places the tome on the desk open.

"Please read what I have written on these pages. This is not just my story." Rick says as he exits the room toward the bedroom and beyond then he closes the door.

They both look at each other stunned. Kate picks up the book.

"Come on Alexis, let's see what your father has written." Kate says as she settles on the love seat.

Alexis shrugs then joins her.

Kate holds the book on her massive belly then begins reading. It takes about 3 hours since they started, but they have completed it. They find how he was feeling, what worried him along with his fears and needs. They even tried to understand his doodles in the margin. They were both weeping then leaning into each other for some kind of support. Drying their eyes, they both walk out of his office then go searching for him.

They did not have to search long. His distinct sound as he sleeps gives him away. They follow the sound which leads them to him on the leather couch. Not wanting to wake him they cover him with a light flannel blanket.

"He is a very loving man." Kate says with much compassion as she eyes his sleeping form.

"I can't believe that he would actually think about ending his life, Kate." Alexis confesses after they remove themselves away to be considerate.

"Alexis, unfortunately, I can understand that feeling all too well." Kate confesses.

"Why Kate did you ever consider that too?" Alexis asks alarmed.

Kate looks ashamed but answers the question.

"Yes, I did once after my mother was murdered and no one would do anything about it I contemplated it." Kate replies. "So I do understand his wishes."

Alexis gasps as Kate continues.

"Alexis, you need to understand that he had hit the lowest point in his life. Me and your father were not actually exclusive when he was diagnosed. While he had my support, he wanted me out of his life, to be done with me. So he would die in peace sparing me the heartbreak of losing him. I guess that he thought that ending his life would spare the people he loves so deeply from the way this disease would ultimately take him away." Kate explains.

"I see his point about you but what about me? He never had this discussion with me. So what you're saying is that if we never found the trial he would have left me all alone without him?" Alexis asks horrified of the thought.

"Sweetie, while it seemed to be his best and only option at the time. He really did want to spare you all of his pain." Kate says darkly.

Alexis still unnerved by what she has read gets up.

"Kate would you like some juice. I find I am rather thirsty." Alexis asks.

"Yes, juice would be fine…Please, do not disturb your father as you go past him. He has had a very emotional day." Kate pleads.

"Kate I will be a quiet as a mouse." Alexis says which made Kate smile.

Having gone back to the office to discuss the book Alexis winds her way to the kitchen. Kate watches then chooses to move too. There was no reason she could not get her own juice. So she follows her out to the kitchen carrying the heavy book then settles on a stool.

Kate has caught up as Alexis places the glass on the kitchen island. She turns to put the juice container back in the fridge. Returning to the counter top, Alexis slides the glass over to her. The momentum carries the glass further than she has expected. The glass slides into the journal then knocks it off the granite top onto the floor. Kate stops the glass from spilling then reaches down to retrieve the heavy book.

Something is wrong, really seriously wrong. She isn't able to return to the standing position. She doesn't want to startle Alexis. She tries once more and the pain is becoming more sharp and unbearable. She finally was in labor. The twins have finally decided it was time to join the rest of us.

Kate cries out in pain as the next contraction hits.

"Kate what's wrong?" Alexis asks as she rushes to Kate's side.

That is when they both notice the puddle forming on the floor under her.

"Alexis I'm fine my water just broke. I'm going into labor wake your father. The twins are coming" Kate pants as another painful contraction hits.

Alexis did not need to wake her father since he woke up with Kate's first screams of pain.

"Alexis what's happening?" Rick asks as he bounds into the room.

"Dad it is finally happening…Kate's in labor" Alexis explains as Kate screams out again.

"Labor…? ...Oh, labor…The twins are coming." Rick responds.

Kate is still bent over by the breakfast bar. Seeing Kate like this he goes into full protection mode. Kate recognizes Rick beside her.

"Rick, I think that we should seriously think about going to the hospital." Kate pants through the next wave of pain.

"Where is the pain located babe?" He asks.

"It's mostly in my back I can't straighten up." Kate pants.

Thinking for a second, he places his one arm by the joint of her knees. The other arm is placed behind her back. Tilting her into his arms he slowly lifts her into his arms. He walks out into the living room. He looks into her eyes. He can see the pain she is experiencing.

"Alexis go into the hall closet and get me two or three tennis balls." Rick says.

"Dad...?" Alexis asks confused.

"Alexis, don't question, just do, okay." Rick says.

Alexis rushes to the closet and gets the tennis balls. Rick is hovering Kate over the couch. Alexis runs over to where he is located.

"Pumpkin, as I lower Kate onto the couch place one of the tennis balls right above her hip in the small of her back." Rick instructs.

Alexis complies. Rick lowers her onto the couch. The tennis ball is wedged into her back bringing her almost instant relief to Kate. They cover her with the same blanket he just used. It is still nice and warm. Then he kneels beside her.

"Kate does this help at all?" Rick asks.

"Rick the pain is more manageable now…Thank you. We need to move fast. These babies will be here very soon." Kate instructs.

"Alexis dial 911 for me, please." Rick commands.

Rick takes her hand and squeezes it gently.

"Hang on Kate, you'll be out of here soon..." He says as he looks down with a loving smile.

 **A/N: There will be the finale tomorrow.**

 **A/N2: I would like to thank all the Guests and regular members who have sent a review for this story and my other ones as well. Earlier last week I might have acted like a cry-baby. And I do apologize. Reviews are what keep us going as writers. While we expect to please everyone who reads our thoughts of fiction, there are some people who act (and review) as if we are writing for their satisfaction. This is not the case. I hope that you, the reader are content with the way this story has gone. Again I thank everyone who sent a review good or bad.**

 **P2P**


	22. Chapter 22

Rick looks to Alexis then back to Kate. What is taking the EMS team taking so long to get to them? Kate is dealing well with the pain. To be honest with himself, he has never before been in this type of situation. When Alexis is born, he was late getting to Meredith. She had already been at the hospital when he arrived. She already has the effects of the painkillers running through her veins. So she endures little pain then. This is a whole new experience. He seriously thinks about taking Kate to the hospital himself.

Just as he is going to ask Alexis where they are again for the millionth time, there is a knock on the door. Alexis runs to the door to let them enter.

"Is this the Castle residence?" The first EMT asks as Alexis swings the entry door open.

"Yes please come this way." Alexis answers.

Without hesitation, Alexis escorts them to where Kate and her dad are which is near the couch. The younger EMT kneels beside Kate and makes his initial assessment of her condition. He takes a little time to come to the conclusion that Kate is somewhere in the neighborhood of being 7 centimeters dilated.

"Mr. Castle I presume?" The EMT asks.

"Yes and please call me Rick." Rick responds.

"Well, Rick here is the current situation with your wife." He says.

Rick does not have the heart to correct him. Since he and Kate are not yet married. He just looks at him waiting for him to continue.

"Your wife is dilated about 7 centimeters. We will need to move her quickly if we don't want her to deliver in the back of the ambulance." He states the urgency of this situation.

With that, the older EMT has already moved the stretcher into position near the couch. They transfer Kate then strap her to it. Covering her with a blanket then they are ready. Rick just stands there not knowing what else to do. Kate looks at him and notices that he is looking lost.

"Babe, everything will be fine." Kate reassures.

He looks down to her with a loving look. What she says has snapped him out of his current fog. She takes his hand in hers then holds it tightly.

"So are we good to go?" the EMT's said in unison.

"Yes, Please be careful you are transporting precious cargo…Kate, I will be following in the car." Rick says.

"Babe, I will be fine I love you and I will….Aughhh!" Kate screams in pain as the next contraction hits.

"Dad, go with Kate I think you are in no shape to drive. I'll follow you. Give me your car keys." Alexis warns as she runs towards the door to make sure that the way is clear.

"Mr. Castle you are welcome to ride with us." The first EMT says, "But we need to leave now!"

"Dad, just go I have this." Alexis says.

"Honey, are you sure?" Rick says hovering on indecision until Kate screams again.

"Dad, yes Kate needs you now! I am sure get going...NOW" Alexis says hoping to get her point across.

They exit as Rick holds Kate's hand. Alexis closes the door but not before they are out of sight.

"Excuse me which hospital are you taking her to?" she asks.

"Alexis it's Mt. Sinai" Kate responds in a rushed breath.

Alexis closes then locks the door. She decides to head back to where Kate was when her water broke. She cleans up the fluid and tidies up the loft too. She grabs everything they will need then exits.

Taking out the keys she rode the elevator down to the garage. Her Dad's Cadillac SUV with two baby seats having already been installed is waiting. She starts it and then places the behemoth into gear then eases into Manhattan traffic. Driving this monster is something that she will need to get used to. She follows the SUV's GPS mapping to Mt. Sinai. She arrives about 25 minutes later. Parking the SUV, she rushes inside. She approaches the nurse's station looking for the maternity ward.

"Excuse me…I am looking for my family…A young woman who is about to give birth along with a frantic tall man…Have you seen anyone like this arrive in the last few minutes? They would have arrived with EMT's." Alexis asks desperately trying to get information on her family.

"Let me see" says the nurse "What is the name?"

The name is Beckett…Katherine…wait I hear her! Nevermind...thanks…" Alexis says as she runs toward her screaming mom.

"Go ahead and go back to your mother." The nurse yells out to a disappearing Alexis with a smile.

Alexis is almost at a fast run down the hallway toward the birthing room. As she turns to enter the room she notices Kate already in stirrups pushing hard to deliver the first twin. She is sweating profusely and her dad sitting behind her is doing the same. She sets the bags she is carrying down in a chair then walks over to take Kate's hand. Kate looks up to see the concern in her eyes.

"Alexis, don't worry. The doctor says that everything is going well. The first twin should be here quickly." Kate pants as the next painful contract hits.

"Kate, what I need you to do right now is push, at the count of 3. 1...2...3. push." The doctor commands.

With that final push the first baby's head crowns. The doctor gently guides its head out of the womb. Before long the doctor is guiding the baby's shoulders through the birth canal. Then at 1:22 pm they welcome the first baby. It is a boy. He is beautiful and weighing in at 5 pounds 9 ounces. He has ten fingers and toes. He is 19 inches long and healthy. Rick looks at the doctor who has just delivered his son and notices that he is alarmed.

The seated doctor swivels his chair back to the task at hand.

"Doctor Reily, what's wrong?" Rick asks worriedly.

"Rick we might have a problem here." The doctor grimly says.

"How, what's wrong?" Rick asks fearing the worst case.

"Okay here is the issue. The sonogram never shows us that there is only one umbilical cord. This might be a problem because it is generally longer in length due to the fact that it is supporting life for two babies." The doctor explains.

"So what could happen?" Rick asks not quite understand the doctor's grimness.

"Don't be alarmed, there might be a possibility that the cord could wrap around the baby's neck or other parts causing distress. I will do all my power to prevent that from happening." The doctor assures.

Alexis gasps at this news.

"So far I see no sign of distress on the fetal monitor. Everything looks fine. So Kate what do you say let's bring your second baby into this world?" The doctor asks.

Kate nods

"Okay, Kate I'm going to count to ten. Then I want you to push hard.

Okay?" He says.

"Kate I now it is hard sweetheart but please try to do what he says" Rick coaxes.

"You can do it, Kate." Alexis says from the sidelines.

"Okay, 10, 9, 8…2, 1…Now push Kate!" The doctor says

She pushes hard then the second baby comes out in one fluid movement. Giving blessed relief to Kate. She is here. She has the prettiest blue eyes. She weighs 5 pounds and 3 ounces. She is 20 inches long. The doctor untangles the umbilical cord.

"Rick, you need to cut the umbilical cord from your daughter." He says.

"Please cut here" the nurse instructs after clamping the cord off in two places.

He happily takes the surgical scissors and completes the task. The nurse takes their daughter to be cleaned up. The doctor separates the umbilical cord from his son too.

Rick moves to Kate's side then leans down and kisses her softly.

"We're parents! Kate, you did it. I love you so much" Rick says continuing to kiss her.

Alexis just beams on seeing the delivery of her new siblings. She pulls the bag off the chair.

"Which room will she be taken to?" Alexis asks the nurse.

"We are going to set her up in room 12. She will need a couple of minutes to recover." The nurse replies.

"Okay, I will place their things in there and wait." Alexis says leaving but not before snapping a few pics on her phone of her mother, father and her new siblings.

Rick oblivious pulls the chair over to her then sits down. As he watches the nurses busily rushing around the delivery room taking care of his children his mind goes to a question he needs to talk to Kate about.

"Excuse Me…We need to get the afterbirth out…Kate, we need you to push just one more time." The nurse says interrupting.

Kate complies then all was finished. Kate is cleaned up then wheeled into her private room. Alexis stands to make room for the bed.

Rick hovers waiting for the monitors to be attached then after the nurses were finished he sits down in the chair just vacated by Alexis.

"Has anyone informed the world of the new arrivals?" Alexis asks.

Kate looks at Rick…

"No, I guess we haven't…" Rick says guiltily.

"Okay I'll handle this," Alexis says as she walks out of the room to the waiting area.

After Alexis leaves the nurses bring the babies in for their first feeding. Rick looks lovingly at both of them.

The nurse helps Kate get the hang of nursing her children. Once the fussy tot latches on Rick broaches the question.

"Kate, now that they are here we need to name them." He says looking down on his son.

"Rick, I have been thinking about this for quite some time." Kate says moving a bit to get her daughter into a more comfortable position.

"You have? And you never mentioned this little fact to me?" He said smiling at her.

She returned his smile with a smile of her own.

"I didn't know how to bring it up." Kate confesses.

"Well then no time like the present, what names did you choose?" Rick asks excitedly.

"Okay for our son, I was thinking Ayden Ethan Castle." Kate says pointing at her son in the basket waiting to be fed.

"Kate, I actually love it. So it's agreed?" Rick says.

"Yes." Kate said timidly.

Alexis has returned then overhears the conversation about naming her siblings.

"Dad, while I am not actually qualified to name your daughter I do have a suggestion for you." Alexis shyly says.

Kate and Rick look at her with concern.

"Alexis, why would you think that you are not qualified to make a suggestion? She will be your sister." Rick says as Kate nods in agreement.

"Well here is my thought Johanna Rose Castle." Alexis adds.

Kate grips Rick's hand just a little too tight. He looks down at her he sees that she is quietly crying then whispering to her new daughter.

"That is your name little one…Johanna Rose Castle." Kate whispers as Johanna pushes away.

"Oh, is she done? Let me burp her?" Alexis coos as Kate hands off Johanna to her then have Rick hand her their son Ayden Ethan Castle.

He has no problem latching on to nurse. Alexis burps Johanna as Rick and Kate look at her.

"Rick, she is a natural…It won't be too long before she will be doing this for her own child." Kate says.

"Please don't remind me" Rick grimaces.

Kate laughs which disturbs Ayden who squawks.

"Oh did I upset your meal Adyen? Well, mommy is so sorry." Kate says as Ayden looking mollify resumes his meal.

Alexis places Johanna back in her bassinet.

Ayden was finished so she handed him off to a waiting Alexis. She makes quick work of burping him.

Rick is so proud of both his girls. He wraps his arm around Kate then kisses her.

"You did very well today Kate. I love you so much" Rick says with another kiss.

"No Rick we did great!…and I love you too." Kate says.

The nurses have reappeared then one takes Ayden away from Alexis then places him in the bassinet. The other starts to wheel the baby out of the room.

"Where are you taking them?" Rick asks concerned.

"The doctor has ordered some more tests. They will not be gone long." The nurse replies.

Rick looks at Kate then gets up.

"I don't think it is anything Kate. I'll find out what is the doctor's concern." Rick says kissing her on more time.

Rick leaves the room then finds the doctor.

"Oh, Mr. Castle I was coming to see you." The doctor says.

"Yes, Doctor as I am you. So what is the need for these further tests?" Rick asks.

"Well as you are aware both children were sharing the same umbilical cord. In these cases, we like to perform extra tests to find more information. The children's health is in no danger." He says with a smile "…Matter of fact they are quite healthy you should be proud…Now excuse me I have other patients to attend."

Rick excuses the doctor then returns to the room.

"Well, Rick what's wrong?" Kate asks anxiously.

"Kate nothing is wrong…The way the twins shared an umbilical cord is a bit rare. Extra tests are being ordered. So they can contribute to science. Imagine that Kate our children are already special in this world." Rick says kissing her again.

"Rick we already know they are special." Kate says.

A few minutes later the twins are returned.

"Oh, would you do us a favor?" Rick asks the nurse before she left.

"What would you like?" The nurse asks.

"Would you please take our picture as a family? I want our older daughter in this picture." Rick requests.

"It would be my pleasure," the nurse says as Alexis' hands over her phone then gets into the frame.

The nurse takes several pictures then hands the phone back to Alexis. She departs as Alexis excitedly shows everyone the pic with her and her family.

"Alexis, I don't think we have told you that the name you gave to your sister is inspired…thank you for that suggestion Pumpkin." Rick says.

"Alexis please come over here." Kate requests.

As Alexis approaches Rick moves to the other side of the bed. Kate pulls Alexis into a very loving and meaningful embrace.

"Honey, thanks for the name it means so much to me, more than you would ever know." Kate says.

Rick looks at his two girls and smiles. He then looks over to the twins. They have been wrapped in gender specific blankets.

"They are so beautiful." Kate says about the pictures and the twins sleeping beside her bed.

"And it's all because of you babe." Rick says.

"Well, I'd like to think that I had a little help." Kate replies.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Two months have passed since Kate and the twins have come back home. Alexis has been a godsend. Rick has been terrific taking care of the twins and Kate. She wonders for a second, if he were to leave them due to his disease there would be no way on gods green earth that she and Alexis would be able to handle the twins by themselves alone.

Rick has gone to the clinic for his last check up earlier in the morning. Kate and Alexis have their hands full. He meets with Dr. Cho.

"Well, Rick I am happy to report you are still free from this disease congratulations. Remember to keep disease free…you must adhere to your diet regimen." Dr. Cho reminds him.

"I will Doctor and thanks so much for everything." Rick says getting up to leave.

"Please remember, I need you back here in 6 months." She says.

"Yes, I'll remember to schedule it with the receptionist." Rick replies leaving.

He left the clinic sometime around 11:00 am. On his way back he has a thought. It is a good plan, but he needs desperately to speak to Alexis. He needs to get her help if he was ever going to pull it off this was going to be huge!

The plan is simple…marry Kate! He already asked her and she did say yes. So he gets to work making plans to do just that. Arriving home at the loft he enters to hear nothing. What he sees is a picture that warms his heart. Kate and Alexis are both asleep on the couch with each twin resting comfortably on their chests. Empty nursing bottles are at each others sides. Dirty diapers are thrown onto the floor.

They are exhausted he could tell. The twins are a very active pair. He walks over to Alexis. She had Ayden on her chest. He gently picks up the boy and before he moves even 1 inch away Alexis awoke with a start. She instinctively makes a move to grab back the baby.

"Alexis it's fine. It's only me I will put him down in the bassinet." He says in a whisper.

Alexis gets off the couch then goes to where Kate and Johanna are. She quickly and gently removes the sleeping Johanna from Kate's chest. She joins her dad in the nursery. He has just laid Ayden down and is waiting for Johanna when Alexis enters the nursery. She lays Johanna down. They turn on the baby monitor then slip out quietly.

Heading back out to the living room to where Kate was fast asleep. Rick covers her with a blanket. She moves a little but stays asleep. Rick walks back into his office and motions for Alexis to follow.

"So Dad, why all the cloak and dagger stuff…what's going on now?" Alexis whispers not wanting to wake Kate.

"Alexis…don't you think it's time I married Kate?" Rick asks.

"Dad if you ask me I think it is way past that time…So what can I do to help?" she asks.

Rick tells Alexis about his plans. Kate still had just about 4 months of maternity leave left. It would be enough time to complete his plan.

"Alexis I will need your help with the arrangements." He replies

"Dad, what do you have in mind?" Alexis asks.

"Alexis I need your help with setting up this wedding. The way I see it Kate still has about four months of maternity leave left and I want her to be my wife within the next two months. Do you think we can pull it off?" Rick asks.

Alexis thinks about what an undertaking this would be in such a short time. There are flowers, dresses, a decent venue, not to mention the twins themselves to contend with.

"Dad I will be honest with you. This will be a monumental feat to pull off, but with your connections and the cash to throw around, I think it's a possibility." Alexis replies.

"That's my girl, so where do you want to start?" Rick says with a hug.

"Well the first place I think we should start is finding the perfect venue and the guest list." Alexis suggests.

"Okay, I will get started on the phone calling venues." Rick offers.

"Actually Dad it is more important for you to started on the guest list. You need to make a very short list of guests you want to invite. And I really mean short not over the top by inviting everyone you know. Let's keep it a small affair say about 150 people. I'll handle the venue" Alexis says.

Rick's face frowned at that statement. He wants to invite everyone to share in their joy.

"Okay, Alexis we'll switch. Let's see how far we can get now before Kate wakes up." Rick says.

They had accomplished a great amount in a short time. They had been at it for about 2 hours. Then Kate starts to stir on the couch. They have been prepared for her movements. The baby monitor is placed in a position in the hallway between the twin's room and the living room. They hear Kate starting to awake. They toss everything they are working on into the top desk draw. They walk out of the office. Kate has not fully awoken yet. So there is no need to explain why they were in Rick's office.

"There she is. How is your nap, Kate?" Rick asks.

"It was much needed. So Rick, where are the twins?" Kate asks with a yawn.

"I put them down about 2 hours ago. When I got home the two of you were sleeping with them doing the same on your chests. I have pics too." Rick teases.

Rick pulls out his phone then scrolls to the picture he has taken of his sleeping beauties. He shows it to Kate and she smiles widely at the image.

"They should be up any time now Kate" Alexis states.

"What were you guys doing while I was asleep?" Kate asks.

"What do you mean Kate?" Rick says as he looks away from her.

"In your office, the two of you were just in there." Kate says again with another yawn.

It is Alexis who saves the day.

"Kate we were just going over the details for the twins christening. We hoped to have it done by the time you awoke, but there are just a couple of details to finish up." Alexis says allying Kate's suspicions.

"Oh okay." Kate says.

Rick thinks how close that was. If it isn't for Alexis' quick thinking they would have been sunk. Just then his stomach rumbles.

"Kate, what do you say to us having our first family outing?" Rick asks hopefully.

"What do you have in mind?" Kate asks.

"A family dinner out..." he replies.

"Are you sure we can handle it?" Kate asks.

"Well, I'm sure. We may we have to have Alexis' help, though." Rick says looking at his eldest.

"Alright, then that's the plan." Kate says as she hears the twins stirring as if on cue.

They fed them then retrieve all they would need for a couple of hours out. When they were ready to leave they looked like they were moving to another state. They had double of everything. Diaper bags, bottles, baby food, spare changes of clothes just in case. They had a double stroller which helps. Rick still has to carry most of the items. During dinner, the twins slept soundly. They actually had a great meal. During dinner, the conversation moved to the topic of shopping.

"Kate I was wondering if you would want to come with me for a half day of shopping?" Alexis asks.

"I'm not too sure Alexis I really don't think it's a good idea to leave the twins."

"Nonsense Kate, I can take care of the children while you get out and spend some money for just half of the day." Rick says.

Rick knows where Alexis is going with this idea. He hopes Kate will bite and say yes.

"Alexis, if you think your dad can handle the twins then I'm game." Kate says

"Well look at how I turned out, he must know something about taking care of babies." Alexis comments.

They all laugh at that then get ready to leave. Rick takes care of the bill then they leave. After they get back to the loft Kate settles the babies and Rick pulls Alexis off and away from Kate's all seeing eyes.

"Okay, I will get everything done on the list before you come back. I think we should be set. I can't wait until these next two weeks are up. She will be so surprised." Rick tells Alexis in a whisper.

"Don't worry dad she will love it, just don't screw this up okay?" Alexis warns.

"I won't" Rick promises wondering why she would think that.

The next day arrives. Alexis and Kate have finally left the loft. Kate would not stop giving Rick instructions about the twins even while exiting the loft. Rick has much to do in a very little amount of time. He would get texts from Alexis during the day informing him of their whereabouts.

After about 5 texts from Alexis reporting where they are in the city her final text arrives and she informs him that they are heading home. And it is a good thing because he has just finished up with all the details for a great wedding.

Kate and Alexis arrive back at the loft with their arms full of the day's purchases.

"It is amazing how much you can get accomplished with an Amex black card." Rick quips surveying all the bags.

Alexis looks at her father as she takes most of the bags to put them away. He winks at her to let her know that everything was set for the wedding.

The next two weeks flew by. The way that Alexis and her dad have set it up they are all going to go to the church under the guise of the christening. At the loft things are moving along quickly. They are all ready to leave for the church and the twins were in their christening gowns looking great. The limo is waiting to take them to the church.

Arriving at the church Alexis and Kate make their way to a small room off the main part of the church. Alexis nods to her dad. He and Lanie took each twin into the church.

"Alexis why are we here? Don't you think that we should be in there with the twins?" Kate asks.

"Kate, there is a special type of dress you need to wear for the christening." Alexis fibs.

"Oh really so where is this dress?" Kate asks now very suspicious.

"It's right over here hanging in the wardrobe." Alexis points out.

Kate walks over to Alexis then taps her on the shoulder just as she was about to open the door to the wardrobe.

"Honey, do you think I don't know what's going on here?" Kate asks as she pulls the wardrobe and Kate instantly becomes misty eyed and is so silent at what she sees in front of her.

"Kate what are you talking about!" Alexis exclaims with a nervous giggle knowing why Kate is now so quiet.

Kate tries to recover as if nothing has happened "Alexis come on, I have known about your plans for this wedding today for a while now. You need to come clean." Kate softly says turning her vast interrogation skills upon her.

Alexis looks worried then breaks as Kate smiles. She pulls her mother's wedding dress out of the wardrobe and sees that it has been altered to fit her.

"Kate, please don't let it on to dad. It would break his heart. Yeah, this is a wedding too." Alexis admits.

"Don't worry Pumpkin, I know you and he did much to make this happen. I won't ruin it for him." Kate says kissing her on the forehead then gives her a hug. "So is this the special dress you want me to wear?"

Kate looks at the dress that Alexis has somehow got her hands on and she loves it. She will need to talk to her dad about boundaries though!

"Alexis this dress is beautiful…You have outdone yourself!" Kate gushes. "Help me with it would you please?"

Alexis helps her with the dress, make-up, and hair. Alexis takes a step back and admires Kate. She is stunning to say the least.

"Kate, are you ready?" Alexis asks.

"Yes, I am. Let's go." Kate says as her father dressed in his finest appears.

"Kate, your mom would be so proud of you!"

Alexis quickly removes herself as father and daughter talk quietly.

"I'm so happy for you…Rick is a very lucky man. You look just like your mother Katie. She would have been so proud." He says with almost tears in his eyes.

"Yes, I miss her too Dad. She should have been here." Kate says.

"Now, now no tears yet leave them for Rick. I hear the odds are that even he cries." Jim says as Kate laughs then wipes the few tears that fell away.

They left the room together on her father's arm. Kate notices that all her friends are sitting in the pews. As she walks towards the altar she notices Rick standing there wearing his black Armani tuxedo. The twins are sleeping in bassinets right where they would be finally be standing. She walks down the aisle then watches as Rick nervously tugged at the sleeve of his tux. He is adorable.

Reaching the altar Jim hands Kate over to Rick then sits down next to Martha. Everyone is seated. Kate looks to Rick with a look of kindness and awe for what he had done here today. The ceremony starts as they both turn to face the priest.

They say their vows in front of all their friends and family. Martha had made back from Australia just in time. Her dad looks on as their vows were almost complete. He is happy that he was able to give her away on her special day. The fact Rick has promised to love her unconditionally. It makes the day even more special for him.

The ceremony has ended and they kiss each other in front of the altar. After the kiss and the cheering, the children are christened. Kate kisses him again as both babies let their presence be known. During the kiss, he thinks back on everything they have been through together. They have a new family with lots of friends. He realizes that they had survived everything and are now looking forward to a future together...

 **A/N: And this brings us to the end of this story. I would love to thank everyone who sent me a review about this story. While most of this story is fictional, I was able to draw from some events in my life and add them to this story. My sister was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away in 2011. I am one to always accept what people have to say. But I am not going to read reviews about how these reviewers can bash my sister who is not here to defend herself and like it. There were only a couple of reviewers who did this, but the hurt is there. I might be back to write but with the way that this season of Castle is headed and the negative reviews for this story... I'm not too sure that it's such a good idea.**

 **P2P**


End file.
